[Boydie]

Hmmmm

Just listened to both versions back to back

I agree with comments that the original version had potential and I thought the vocal had a real "Robbie Williams" flavour in places

I was particularly keen to hear the "produced" version to see what they had done with it

I did like the intro and the start to the track, which seemed to tick a lot of the boxes

However, as the track progressed I personally did not feel that the new production was very "sympathetic" to the original track and I can sense (and understand) your disappointment

I know I sound like a broken record at times on this one but I think you should consider upping the tempo - it sounds like it is currently around 80/85 bpm - I would always aim for over 100bpm to make it "radio friendly"

I think the main issue is more with the fact that the vocals do not now "fit" the backing track - so it sounds like a bit of a "mash up"

It appears they have tried to "disguise" this by layering effects on top of the vocal - which I think works in some places but it is too much on everything IMHO

It would be interesting to hear this with a new vocal on top of the backing, which may help knit things together

I also think it is a "big ask" to transform any track into a "commercially viable pop song" - this is the holy grail for even the most established artists / producers

My personal feeling (puts flame suit on  ) is that in today's market the production element needs to form part of the writing process - eg finding the right "drum sound", beat, groove, synth sound, bass sound, sound fx etc is as important (and should be considered at the same time) as writing the chord structure/melody/lyric

Writing the song first and then giving it to someone to make "commercially viable" may not be the best route

Just my $0.02

[digger72]

Hi,

This seems a classic dilemma. As a writer do you want to write songs you like, or songs which you think may make you some money, or at least get some airplay? There's no right or wrong answer to that - just which you prefer. If you're lucky, you may get both. Do you want to follow the music types that dominate the charts, or lead the music types in the charts?

I prefer your original idea; the new arrangement, as Boydie suggests, appears a little at odds between the vocal and the music, although the chorus is pretty good when that extra melody comes in. Sounds a bit more like Pet Shop Boys than Robbie now.

Like you wrote, the producer is probably only doing what you asked - trying for a commercial, current sound. I guess you need to ask yourself do you want to write for someone, or do you want to be an artist? If the man wants a burger, no point giving him a hot dog - unless it's the best hot dog ever and completely blows him away.

Good luck.

Digger

[Boydie]

If the man wants a burger, no point giving him a hot dog - unless it's the best hot dog ever and completely blows him away.

That is a fantastic analogy Digger - I will be using that one!   

[montydog]

Vocally this sounds a bit strained to me. I'm not sure about the production either. I'm getting the Robbie Williams/Pet Shop Boys thing as well. I'm afraid it's not my thing at all and I'm finding it difficult to get around my prejudice against this arrangement/production. This sounds very negative and I don't mean it to be but I'm struggling to like it. Probably best to ignore an old fart like me as I'm still getting over the Human League!

[fischermans]

Hello
I would defiantly buy the first version and not the full production. I once get a song back from another person who want to help me.He put his ideas to the song but what i got back wasn´t still my song.It was a complete different song.
Thats not the reason why I write songs.
Regards Alexander

[seriousfun]

I am defo for the original version but that could be my age shinning through. Sure the original has some rough edges around the production side but I feel the arrangement
 And instrument choices is far superior. If it was my song I would look at each track of the original and see where I could improve them production wise. It's a case of small incremental improvements and you may end up closer to where you see the song than with the producers hijacking attempt.

Allan