Hi Sjoerd
I like the feel of this one
The vocal melody was spot on and the story/concept of the song is good too. I think a couple of lyrics could do with tidying, but only because
I know English is not your first language :p I can spot that Dutch accent anywhere lol.
Just little things really that would make the difference.
For instance the first line.. Everybody got their own mistakes - In a rap song that might sound ok, but for a song with this feel I don't think it does.
For me it would sound better Everybody's got their own mistakes. Just for it to make a bit more sense gramatically. Or Everybody has their own mistakes.
Tell the doorman he's gonna have the time of his life
Because I'm gonna get knocked out - What you are saying here is cool but the two "gonna's" just doesn't sit right. Hearing "Gonna" said so closely
together, in this instance, doesn't sound right.
This next song is for you
But let me help you dance it through - Personally I would drop the "But" here and just say "Let me help you dance it through" For no other reason than that I think it
would sound better.
I really like where you are going with this song and again I really like your vocals.
btw. If you ever want someone just to take a look at stuff like that feel free to pm me and I'd be more than happy to assist
