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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: RC James on April 18, 2024, 05:46:55 PM

Title: Janey
Post by: RC James on April 18, 2024, 05:46:55 PM

https://soundcloud.com/rc-james-user841120068/janey-iiv?si=de6c31ffa3da4052881ace0a2fc5e553&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing


Janey, Janey, Janey

I heard a rumor you folded from the strain
But I know you, you're on the slow train,
sittin' in the lounge car with a dangerous smile;
looks like things gonna be smooth for a while

And I'm out here on the outskirts
of this torn down town
way out on the outskirts of town

You never stop running, nobody has a clue,
or the damage those green eyes can do.
You looked around, found you an answer,
inside yourself you became a silent dancer.

Dance around the fires
Dance beyond the wires
Dance and dance alone
Where you dance is home

I caught you when you were still green,
you waltzed right onto a real bad scene;
now you've got answers, just like a clown
you don't allow anything to get you down.

Angels never have to say a thing
just a quiet shake of their wing,
they tell me heaven is not so far away,
seems I been there and I could not stay.

Dance around the fires
Dance beyond the wires
Dance and dance alone
Where you dance is home.

Children's eyes hold a choice,
way out on the outskirts of town,
your memory now is a voice
way out on the outskirts of town.

Way out on the outskirts of town
mmm...mmm...mm-mmm
way out on the outskirts of town.

Title: Re: Janey
Post by: moraamarolaloba on April 18, 2024, 08:02:50 PM

Hola!!!
I enjoy reading your lyrics, they are like movies with a main actor, in this case Janey... I love the dance paragraph (and more other lines)... it is a beautiful but overwhelming scene in a way.

Clowns know many things about human miseries that is why they protect themselves behind the laughter they put in our mouths.

@RC James (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=23000)

Title: Re: Janey
Post by: rightly on April 21, 2024, 07:43:28 PM

Great storytelling and
fine unusual imagery in this one.
Relatable characters
Really is like a film, an alternate reality
that seems to follow you when you've left the cinema.
Good work.