3. Working from Memory
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Working from Memory

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kevysc

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Working from Memory

« on: January 04, 2018, 02:56:33 PM »
Just finished this one and would love some feedback ...

https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/29034846-working-from-memory

Working from Memory

On the day we met
(It was cold and wet)
But you were dressed to kill
I wore my overcoat with leather on the sleeves
I think I have it still
It was kind-of a lucky charm
I'm sure I have it still

Chorus

Who knows?
I may have some details wrong
I'm working from memory

Just a trace of a smile
(Did I see you smile?)
It gave me such a thrill
When you said my name and asked me
I can hear you still
"Will you buy me a drink?
And maybe later you can walk me home"

Chorus

Let me hold your hand
Help you through this pain
I am by your side forever
We can go there again

It was long ago
(It was long ago)
You were beautiful then
You are beautiful now as you lie there
In this bed
I have loved you forever
And I love you still

Chorus
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rightly

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2018, 03:50:46 PM »
you seem to be fearlessly playful here.
I like all your material so far.

dramatic stuff.
Rock on.
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shadowfax

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2018, 04:54:51 PM »
writing as I listen and hey! this is a damn good song, nice singing...
so, the only nit from me is..it finishes as it started..no biggie I suppose but a bit of build would have made it even better than it already is.. :)
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adamfarr

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2018, 04:55:57 PM »
Both the feel and some of the lyrics reminded me of Abba's The Day Before you Came, or a Peter Hammill slow one, nothing bad about that.

I like the call and response parts a lot, seems to be something you like to do. The lyrics have lots of detail which I think is always good and "takes us there". I thought the chorus seemed to come and go in a flash - maybe a repeat of the title line could make it take hold more? Having said that it seemed the perfect length and very good to listen to.
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dasntn

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2018, 06:10:18 PM »
Like it!

To me, a kind of Depeche Mode/Heaven 17 feel, and I've found myself humming the verse while off doing email (often it's just the chorus that is catchy), so that can't be bad!

cheers
Dave
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Jambrains

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2018, 08:59:54 PM »
This on grew on me on the second listen, a nice 80's vibe to it. Good vocals (though started out a little hesitant in the first half of the first verse?). Mix well balanced, lyrics paint a vivid picture, no knits from me really. Well done!
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Skub

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2018, 09:38:38 PM »
Hey Kev.

Shades of Bowie in this one and most folk wouldn't be too upset at that comparison!

Good solid groove and well performed.  :)
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giitlesriddles

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2018, 12:46:59 AM »
Ayy writing as I listen.
I like the sax I hear in the background. The vocals kinda feel weird to me. Maybe some of roger waters vibes. I like the vibe tho. It took a minute to get used to tho. I love the stereo affects, and the lyrics are very cool, I like them a lot. Maybe the drums could be a bit louder. The subtle guitar is perfect tho. Overall, good song.
Cheers,
Nate.
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jamesh

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2018, 03:55:52 PM »
Hi Kevin

I like the laid back groove on this one, the subtle arpegiator (I think) and guitars sit really nicely together.

I've used a similar synth string sound in the past which suits this track, but I felt is was a little overpowering. Or maybe the bass could go up a notch.

I get the Bowie comparisons in the vocals too.

Enjoyable listen.

James
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mickyplankton

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2018, 05:34:09 PM »
Hi Kevin. Great song. Very 80s and I'm also getting a Bowie vibe which is a big thumbs up in my book. My only crit would be that I think the vocals could come a bit for ward in the mix. Your voice sounds awesome on this song and it should be the dominant sound. I think the drums and sound effects could be slightly subtler too. Awesome song regardless
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Neil C

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2018, 09:23:16 AM »
Kev,
Like the storyline, lyrics and concept.
The music with its insistent beat provides a good platform for you to tell the story
 :)
neil
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songwriter of no repute..

kevysc

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2018, 01:33:10 PM »
Many thanks to everyone for their excellent feedback. I have updated with some minor mix edits, plus a new ending, inspired by Shadowfax's comment


Quote from: shadowfax on January 04, 2018, 04:54:51 PM
writing as I listen and hey! this is a damn good song, nice singing...
so, the only nit from me is..it finishes as it started..no biggie I suppose but a bit of build would have made it even better than it already is.. :)


If I'd had the budget (and the time) I would have gone for a big gospel style chorus and fade you ... as it is, I have sufficed with 9 copies of my own voice  :)

Thanks again for taking the time to make constructive suggestions.
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Silver Machine

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2018, 07:26:07 PM »
Stylish song dude, smartly dressed.  Happy people lyric, love is blooming, good time music.
It hit me hard, man, when she ended up in High Dependency, didn't see that coming.
A big David McBowie thing going on again, which is tres cool. Though he'd have had a calf length leather coat, not just leather on the elbows.
It lacks a big hook I think, but i'm sure it's a grower.
You got a great sound.
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PaulyX

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2018, 05:11:05 AM »
Subtlety defines this one.  A good 80s-flavoured soundscape and I like the even-keel feel you maintain throughout.  Also really liked the twist in the lyrics in the last verse - made it both sad and triumphant.  I was getting more Ferry than Bowie from it but that's equally a good thing.
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It's all too beautiful.

Theatreman

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Re: Working from Memory

« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2018, 10:14:02 AM »
Really enjoyed your song Kevin. Lovely title and great atmosphere to it. Sounds rather Bowie-esque to my untutored ears (in a good way). Gently catchy too. I'm new to your stuff but I'll keep up with your work in the future x
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