Dogmax, Scott, and Neil: Thanks so much for the encouragement and input. I'll tinker with the line a little Neil, but it actually fits pretty well now, and might not with the tinkering. I'll find out.
Quick question if you have time.... I'm considering switching the second and third verses. The verse that currently sits at "second" seems to have a better sense of finality than the last verse. What do you guys think?