The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Nicolajane87 on October 01, 2020, 05:54:44 PM
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Been a while since I've been on here, started getting back into writing again, here's some lyrics I wrote, any feedback is appreciated thanks.
Butterflies
I can't deny how i feel
But i know that it's real
Everytime you look my way
You just take my breath away
You make my heart beat fast
Tell me will this feeling last
Cause lately I seem to find
I've always got you on my mind
You give me butterflies
You make me feel lovely inside
And when i looked into your eyes
I knew i wanted you to be mine
What you do to me
How do you make me so weak
Mesmerised by your voice
Whenever you speak
Do you feel the same as I do
Or would that be too good to be true
It's like I've waited all my life
For you to be by my side
You give me butterflies
You make me feel lovely inside
And when i looked into your eyes
I knew i wanted you to be mine
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Hi,
Like it. It does just what it needs to for a love song.
:-)
neil
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Thank you for replying
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@Nicolajane87 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20231)
I won't comment on the whole of the structure. Songwriting is such a detailed business and also very subjective. I guess I'd rather comment on what a I found especially appealing because it is heart-felt. A little encpuragement also goes a long way to help motivate all of us.
Most noteably, the lyrics that embrace the song title are quite beautiful
" you give me butterflies. You make Me feel lovely inside."
Such a beautiful and truthful lyric to write.
It can seem seem quite difficult to get a foot hold in a songwriting forum when you are a new otr perhaps returning member after some time away. Might I suggest you write a few lines about yourself in the introduction section, revealing what you do, (lyrics, vocals, instruments). Perhaps you simply write lyrics. I promise that this forum will open up for you if you take a few extra steps.
I hope that helps a little
Best wishes
Paul
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Thank you for your comment, yes I haven't been on here for a while.