[Jathon Delsy]

Snappy, slightly eccentric groove, expertly put together, leaves me feeling a bit uneasy, due to it's weirdly winding modulations and somewhat eerie overtones. This piece cleverly develops and opens while maintaining it's singularity of purpose and gently ominous vibe.
Kinda profound pop here. The smoothly slurring vocal blends beautifully, both sonically and poetically, with this meaningful music. A most sophisticated production of reflective penetration,,,,

[TheButcher]

Jo Jathon;

Wow - now thats a great reply

tx  a lot

[seriousfun]

Loving this. The build in the song is fantastic as if the ominous vibe of the song is growing with the song as it progresses. You are onto something with this song I would look at seeing what else you can to do in this style as it I am sure you learned a lot doing this one song and have many other ideas you tried with it that didn't work but would be relevant in something else. This is a very cool piece and right up my alley.

[MartiMedia]

Hi Butcher, 1st of all I'm new here, so I don't know the usual
'Butcher sound'.
Like the mysteriousness of this track. Great chord progressions,
they contribute to that feel.
Great lyrics, simple but powerful message imo.
Vocals are great, I'd suggest singing a little bit more
out-of-the-box sometimes, that could add even more expression.
Great mix, isn't it great to have so much control in a good
DAW?
This song really 'touched me', very well recorded and performed!
Maybe a strange association, but in some parts it was just like
I was listening to the style of Tanita Tikaram in 'twist in my
sobriety'. Hope you receive that one as a compliment.
Great work, really enjoyed it! MM

[TheButcher]

@seriousfun

You are onto something with this song I would look at seeing what else you can to do in this style as it I am sure you learned a lot doing this one song and have many other ideas you tried with it that didn't work but would be relevant in something else.

that s my plan

thank you for your great comment.

@Marti

but in some parts it was just like
I was listening to the style of Tanita Tikaram in 'twist in my
sobriety'. Hope you receive that one as a compliment.

i didn t think of the song while writing this one; but now that you mention it....you are absolutely right. the vibe....yeah, you re right. By the way; i do love this song (twist in my sobriety) i heard it when i was a kid and it was played on the radio all the time.
I still believe, that the stuff you hear as a kid influences you the most...just a theory.

ok; tx a lot MArti

[Homeless Recluse]

Hi, a nicely constructed song with a subtle 'driving' build up.

Love the changes, they really keep you interested and there's a subliminal quality to the instrumentation that on every listen you seem to hear something you didn't previously.

The guitar (right ear) when you sing 'out of control' sounds like a muted trumpet in parts. (i'd add one there!) Your vocal sounds like early radio head to me and the 'delay on the piano reminds me of 'children' by Robert Miles. All good!

This is one of those subtle and emotive tracks that gets under you skin.

Really like it.

pete

[Kristupas]

The mix in general I think is ok(not skilled here, so bear it mind

In the intro, I think vocal should have faded more in, and maybe more space, more reverb..

1:06 what was that ? was it a sound from your mouth ? very ambiguous ..

I mean if whats like an effect, then ok.. don't know sounds kind of creepy..

Trapped like an animal... Ah such a great phrase, common man where is that anger, or whatever emotion you want to convey...

I think it would sound nice, if you repeated the second time with trapped like an animaaaaaaaal (prolonged

Cheers


But I see you worked on it for a long time, people like it, so who am I to judge

I think 2:22 the backing vocal could have been more on top and the main vocal dropped down, and maybe on both sides ? And I think burning but I'm "cooold"
coold could have been less church sounding, you could have sang it lighter..


But in general liked that section, more silenced

[TheButcher]

Hello Number K

first of all; thank you for listening to my song, taking the time etc...

I ve read some of your other comments as well...

Let me say this:

every listener wants to hear different things - on a platform like this, these different expectations lead to criticism: "sing it that way" "do it this way"....i understand that, and yes, that s why we put music on a forum an let people discuss it.
Me, before i start criticising, or giving advice, i ask myself: "What was this guys intention, what does he want to tell us" -  and not: "what do I want to hear."
That changed the way i approach songs, it changed the way i respond to songs.

Trapped like an animal... Ah such a great phrase, common man where is that anger, or whatever emotion you want to convey...

I do want to transport emotions with this song - for me, it worked. But of course; i don t know what YOU  expect me to convey; and that s my point

peace

[Kristupas]

I don't intend to give negative criticism... Offend someone, but open their eyes to a different perspective..

I just listen, and give criticism, what sounds a bit odd...
And I just suggest, what in my view could be different...
I'm not trying to impose some specific indication "do specifically the way that I think is the best" etc...
I don't try to pretend to be the omniscient almighty musician
Take it or leave it..

You know, if all you receive is good comments, phrases..
Either your songs deserve it, and you should be payed a lot of $$$ for it..
Or maybe they don't see/hear or don't want to see what could be improved..
Just saying, that I saw many comments in this comment, and most of them are not constructive feedback but empty unjustified praising and etc.
And also if someone suggests a change, I personally, want to hear, what they specifically offer to do, not only that "this part is bad" ; "mix is bad" etc...

Sorry got carried away.. long comment,
Peace..

Btw, Yes you are right, everyone has subtle ear differences..
But there are some sonic properties that apply to every ear.

[beckylucythomas]

It's a beauty!

Man I'd love to write like you do...

As it got towards the end, I started thinking, when's he going to take the vocals up an octave?... And then you did, which was a nice payoff, although the high vocal sounded a little in the background, and I would have loved it to be a bit more lead-vocal, in-yer-face to really help raise the song into another dimension..... That is I think my only comment by way of a suggestion....

I think it's a great track.

[TheButcher]

tx a lot becky;

guess whats funny?

I wish i could write like you....