Hey again everyone!
Loving all the productivity coming out of our respective isolation states.
This is a song I wrote in the week before Ireland went on full lockdown. I live right by the sea and down by my house there's an incredibly popular fresh fish and chips restaurant. It's a brilliant restaurant but very small and cramped. Anyway, I was watching the restaurant from my window on mothers day - about two weeks into the government suggested self isolation (about 3 days before full lockdown). As I live with elderly family, I had been locked down since March 7th.
It was absolutely staggering to see literally hundreds of people coming and going in close contact with each other all day in the restaurant. Anything up to 30 groups crammed into a tiny restaurant at once. Crammed like sardines (pun intended). It occurred to me that this may have been due to it being mothers day, and the only good reason I could imagine to take your older mother to a crammed restaurant during a global pandemic was if you had a secret plan to kill her off and get an early inheritance. Cue me writing this little ditty!
Hope you enjoy!
Lyrics:
I understand the urges,
I know just how you feel.
You want to take old momma dear
Out for a meal.
It's mothers day, and sometimes
Chocolates just won't do.
Don't worry bout the virus,
It just don't apply to you.
But seafood ain't that special.
Unless you had a secret plan;
An elaborate inheritance scam.
She's older than she should have been,
You're only trying to help
Prolonging the inevitable
Won't bring you any wealth, no.
Now although you love your mother,
Although she treats you well.
Giving her the virus could send her straight to hell.
We'd all mourn at the funeral,
We'd all cry at the wake.
But think of all the money that you'd stand to make.
But seafood ain't that special.
Unless you had a secret plan;
An elaborate inheritance scam.
It's totally ingenius,
They'll never catch you in the act.
She'd want you to be happy,
Now you know that's a fact.
Welcome to hell!
"275,000 infections worldwide and more than 11,000 deaths.
Europe continues to struggle to contain the coronavirus.
275,000 infections worldwide and more than 11,000 deaths."
Now I know my mother raised me,
From a boy to a man.
I'm gonna use this virus to execute my plan.
She'd probably get it anyway, So don't feel bad.
She always loved her seafood, the last meal that she'll ever have.
But seafood ain't that special.
Unless you had a secret plan;
An elaborate inheritance scam.
You know it's for the greater good,
She'd want to see you thrive.
It's such a shame that she won't make it out alive.