[pompeyjazz]

Hi All,

Another swift change of genre / direction 

I'm a real fan of the sixties sound. I also love a sixties love song, so this is my take on that genre.

This is Destiny

https://soundcloud.com/pompeyjazz/destiny-wip

Destiny

You - You are my destiny
You are a part of me
I'm a part of you
If you, listen real carefully
You'll hear our destiny
Right front ahead of me

When we're sitting all alone
No one troubles us or calls us on the phone
You send me, I send you
Flowers in the spring
It's all that we're living for
It's all that we're giving for

You - You are my destiny
You - You are my destiny

Always, you are my destiny
Such a real part of me
All our dreams come true
Sharing, our moments so tenderly
Each moment of you and me
Yes you are my destiny

When we're sitting all alone
No one troubles us or calls us on the phone
Empowered, love flowered
Flowered in the spring
It's all that we're living for
It's all that we're giving for

You - You are my destiny
You - You are my destiny

John Bradley - 2016

[Skub]

Very Lennon-ish John. 

Took me right back to radio Caroline. 

[CaliaMoko]

I'm a sixties fan, too.

This is a nice, easy-listening tune. There may be some improvements possible in a few words and maybe even a couple spots in the melody, but I'm not sure what it might need melodically. I like the chord progression.

Thinking about the words, I'm looking at the last line of the first verse:
"Right front ahead of me"
It might be a cultural thing, but it sounds a little odd to me. I would probably be more likely to say something like "Right there in front of me" or "There right in front of me" or "Right up ahead of me" or even "On up ahead of me".

One other line, in, umm, is that the second verse? Anyway, the line is:
"Such a real part of me"
The word "real" doesn't do anything for me; it seems unnecessary, except to fill space. Of course, it may just be me and it might be very meaningful to others. But I would probably change it to something like "deep". Or maybe say, "You're such a part of me".

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Nice song, in general.

Vicki

[tina m]

I thought this had a real 1950s rocknroll ballad feel..im thinking Grease ..
a bit john lennon with the vocal & a classy early elvis costello sound to it aswell
I like the way you kept the arrangement simple & so tasteful ..it realy brought out the best in the song....those backing vocals were just right for it
I realy liked it & thought it the best thing youve done recently...you did seem to have lost your way a lttle bit but this is a real return to form john
for some reason I could see you dressed as a teddy boy peforming this...sorry about that! 

[pompeyjazz]

Thanks Skub - Lennonesque is great in my book 

Vicki - I agree with you on the lyrics. Think I will use some of your suggestions

Tina - See what you mean about 50's feel. I'm really happy with that. Glad you like it. Just got to go and re-do my quiff 

John

[shadowfax]

Got it really goin on here mate...captured the essence so well, could be a little more tidy but you seem to be in a mega purple patch of creativity..keep on keepin on John...

[pompeyjazz]

Cheers Kevin. Yep a bit messy but concentrating on the vibe

[Neil C]

John,
With you on the 60's. Verses sound great. Vocals are good and like the BV's.
I like the minor to major on 'you are my destiny'
Got a touch to Last Puppet show.

Thoughts and please ignore

You need a tremeloed, reverbed guitar on this one...

I felt I need a massive chorus and then we went to a minor chords ( liked them ) but it felt like the middle eight but it had the title, which left me slightly confused..

If you're playing in F I kept on wanting to change one chord. Instead of going from F to Am on 'flowers in the spring' I wanted to go down to Bm, as you've done the F to Am quite a few tim.

Anyway nice one

 
Neil


 

[pompeyjazz]

Neil - Thanks so much for your comments. Tremelo guitar is an excellent idea - I've implemented that immediately 

Cheers

John

[Buc McMaster]

Ah yes, a bit of tremolo on that rhythm guitar through the verse would be sweet.  Very late-50s sound.  I can see a sweater wearing high school band with a Vox Continental and Fender guitars and nervous sophomores boys swaying across the gymnasium floor with their first girlfriends.......  Ah yes.......

Nice work, Pomp!

[Tommy Blixt]

Hey man!

I'm digging the good vibrations! I am a big fan of the sixties sound and you've really got it down with this lovley tune.

Great harmonies and choirs!

Overall I think it's a solid song and that you've really nailed the dynamics with the kind of minor-sounding part!

I do think the ending could use a little brush up as it just seem to fall flat with the fade-out. Maybe a more solid ending would do this song good!

With love
/Known as Beppe

[boolio]

I think you satisfied your own 'design brief' (60's love song) there very well and the Lennon vibe is well justified. Good job!

[rightly]

I really like it
The voice reminds me of George Harrison
My favorite Beatle.

[Paulski]

Hi John

I hear the Lennon/Harrison vibe too - nice work
Not my fav of yours though - I like your rockier stuff and found this a bit predictable but that's down to personal taste. I think Vicki has some good ideas lyrics-wise and +1 on Neil's idea for the tremolo gtr - may as well go full out 60's !

Best
Paul

[Movin Flavour]

Hi John,

Definitely got that 60s and 50s feel.

I can hear the echoes of Lennon.

A good listen.


Sandeep