[shortwhat]

This song is very simplistic, it's about dependency and sort of forgetting to do things for yourself. although that might be hard to get from the extremely short lyrics:)
It's the opener for my debut album so It'd be great if you could keep in mind that it opens and album when critiquing haha, thanks much:)

https://joshshort.bandcamp.com/track/i-feel-fine-2

LYRICS:

colour me in another shade of red
I need a hook to keep me here

and yet sometimes I feel fine
sometimes I feel fine

cover me up, shield me from light
I never did find out who I was...

and yet sometimes I feel fine
sometimes I feel fine

[JonathanSmith]

Hi Josh, I like that a lot! I like very simple song structures and not too many words, sometimes you can get more across by using less, for sure. It gives the listener space to put there own thoughts into it. I think haiku poetry works the same way, by having a very short, very strict template, somehow it opens up more creative thoughts. It is not an easy thing to pull off, but I think you've done a great job, there. Good luck and keep it up!

[MartynRich]

What a beautiful mix of sounds, exactly something I would like to achieve. A really nice repetitive melody and simple structure. I think it works extremely well.

Your voice is very unique and it mostly works really well on this track. I am presuming you are aware it is flat in some places, which is a deliberate technique for some singers (not me, I sing flat naturally  ). But I thought the singing at 33 and 36 seconds was a little too flat for my taste, so I don't know how others would feel about it.

The song itself is great though, a really picturesque montage of sounds...and a great way to open an album.

[Movin Flavour]

Love the tune and echo in your voice.....

Makes me feel like floating on water.....don't know what you are striving for but I like it well done.


Sandeep



http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/song-reviews/(new-song)-catch-a-falling-leaf/

[shortwhat]

thanks much for the feedback guys:) i am aware that my voice is flat in places haha deep regrets, maybe I'll rerecord it at some point 

[Skub]

Delicate and introspective,plaintive and evocative,but enough about me. 

I liked this,shortwhat.

[shadowfax]

Sometimes, less is more..as in this piece..it works..(cept for the flat bits)

[Jamie]

Hi, a simple piece which is evocative interesting. Must try a coughing solo in my next song . Plus 1 to the comments about the singing.
Cheers
Jamie

[danieltrigger]

I very much enjoyed the simplicity of this track, creates a very pleasant and enjoyable atmosphere.

My only pointer would be the same as previous guys have said - the vocal is flat, for my tastes a bit too flat to try and call it artistic IMHO.

But with a re-recorded vocal and bit of tuning, I think the concept you have here works well!

[shortwhat]

thanks much everyone:) I'll get on rerecording the vocals asap

[adamfarr]

It's cool. You create good atmospheres and this is another one. Clever understated lyrics too: what a difference between "I feel fine" and "Sometimes I feel fine".

Re the vocal I felt I wanted it more intelligible in places as I was straining to get the meaning. Possibly not in line with the vibe you were going for but that was me.

Definitely some nice ideas going on here.

[delb0y]

Nice unique style going on here which is always a positive thing. Very atmospheric, too. I think it needs a little something else - maybe just a polishing - because as it stands it's very revealing, every note and squeak (and cough!) is caught. Definitely worth progressing with this style and this song, though. Nice to hear something different.

[pompeyjazz]

 Love this Josh. Such lovely simplicity. One major suggestion is to change the title as otherwise nobody will find you on Google. Heard The Beatles in 64 ? And I actually think the fag coughs' work as well 

Bien

John

[crystalsuzy]

A very lovely song, with a melancholy feel I love the simplicity of it and your vocals are beautiful, although I agree...fix the flat bits  I don't get the 'dependency' thing from the lyrics, but it didn't really matter that much this song is more of an atmospheric experience 
I think with some polishing, you've got a winner Nice job 

[tboswell]

It's got a lovely gentle, slightly sad feel about it I very much enjoyed.
I like the brevity and the clarity you get from not overworking your ideas.

Arrangement wise, I do feel the rhythm of the backing is a little too close to the vocal rhythm and they fight each other a bit. I would consider offsetting them to make sure the vocal is clearly got over.

Great effort, I have a feeling of solidarity with someone else coughing at the moment

Tom.