Hello!
Now this, this is right up my alley!! To begin with, I will help you with one thing, Lo-Fi is f-ing great but make it listenable. By that I mean that you should really raise the volume on this track, because it's really beautiful.
I love the synthsounds, I love you voice, I love the fragile delivery, I love you?, I think this is great. But raise the volume.
You have a real talent.
/Tommy