The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: IronKnee on May 08, 2018, 07:59:21 AM
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Hi everyone....Nice to see some familiar faces....
just my recent tune to reflect the times. I would love to hear your thoughts, and first impressions are most welcome!
Thanks, in advance....
-Tom
"That Empathetic Man"
Words & Music by Tom Tognaci
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13724069
Could I walk a hundred miles, on the soles of broken shoes?
Could I lose everything I ever had to lose?
Could I sleep aside a road?
Could I dream shivering cold?
Could I be that homeless face, rung out and old?
I once was known as a man who gave a damn
The kind of guy who would strive to understand
But as this Country now bemoans
White guilt and comfort zones….
It’s getting hard to be that empathetic man
~ Instrumental~
Yea, I once was known as a man who gave a damn
The kind of guy who would strive to understand
But using kids to lite the fuse
On the bombs thrown by fake news
Yea, it’s getting hard to be that empathetic man
Would I stand, could I face, those hateful hearts of stone?
Could I practice what I preach when I stand alone?
Could I kick the man (that’s) down?
Or, would I help him off the ground?
Would I show mercy when the tables turn around?
Yea, I once was known as a man who gave a damn
The kind of guy who would strive to understand
But, berate this great Country,
With a finger and a knee……
You aren’t going to find that empathetic man
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Tom,
Great to hear your voice again, and it sounds in fine fettle.
Simple but effective guitar supporting those rather fabulous lyrics
Lots to like here.
:)
Neil
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I like the way you get the politics across here without it being too obvious / turning it into a lecture.
The lyrics convey the narrator's frustration & sadness very well.
Neatly played and well sung too. Loved the "fuse / fake news" lines.
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Hi Tom
I have listened to some of your songs before and they are always of an extremely high standard - this is no exception. What a wonderfully engaging vocal delivery - I was glued from the outset, so in terms of "first impression" I think it is right up there, it sucked me in. The guitar is extremely well played too. Very, very good.
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Lovely stuff Tom. Really like the simple instrumentation, shows the song off well I think and highlights the melody and great lyrics, I wish I could write lyrics like that. Like Neil said, not too obvious. good work :)
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It's been too long since I listened to one of your songs. They are always so...something I need, apparently. I always enjoy your voice and guitar playing.
The opening melody line on each verse reminds me of something, but I can't think what. It might come to me. The whole melody and presentation suit the subject matter well, I think. It could be kind of a "protest song" like from the sixties. That's my era, so I'm drawn to it.
My only nits are prosody-related, on the word "mercy" in "Would I show mercy when the tables turn around" and on the word "country" in "But, berate this great Country" because the stress in the melody comes out opposite what it would be if spoken. The first one would be easy to bring into compliance, but the second would take some rewriting.
Besides, singing them that way might give the song a "feel" you're after...in which case, never mind.
That's all I have. Lovely guitar playing, as always. I have a guitar lesson tomorrow. Maybe I can learn to do that some day. :)
Vicki
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Hi Tom,
Great to hear from you again. How I love your playing, singing and songwriting. This is a beautifully written, played and performed song as all yours are. You should have a record deal, my friend.
M
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Tom,
Great to hear your voice again, and it sounds in fine fettle.
Simple but effective guitar supporting those rather fabulous lyrics
Lots to like here.
:)
Neil
Thanks Neil...….always appreciated!!
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I like the way you get the politics across here without it being too obvious / turning it into a lecture.
The lyrics convey the narrator's frustration & sadness very well.
Neatly played and well sung too. Loved the "fuse / fake news" lines.
Thanks....I was trying to be careful....don't want to lecture!! Thanks for noticing!!! I appreciate it!
Hi Tom
I have listened to some of your songs before and they are always of an extremely high standard - this is no exception. What a wonderfully engaging vocal delivery - I was glued from the outset, so in terms of "first impression" I think it is right up there, it sucked me in. The guitar is extremely well played too. Very, very good.
Thank you very much for the high praise....compliments=, like yours, make it all worth it. It's all we get!
Thank you sooooo much!
-T
And thanks to all who have commented!
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That was a nice listen,
There were turns n twists in the voice that reminded me of my days when I was obsessed with Dylan's music.
Excellent guitar And production.
Thanks for sharing.
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From the title I couldn't help thinking of "Inebriated Man" - that soon went when the playing started. Great composition and nice subtle political content.
Just one thing - there's quite a bit of audible breathing - not sure if that was when you did the guitar track... (Oh no, am I turning into "that guy"?) Anyway it's definitely human and live which is the way this music should be.
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It's great Tom, simple and thoughtful and well worth a few listens, getting better each time.
Still not sure on which side of the political dividing lines we have now, you come down on but that is part of the universality of the songwriting.
The frustration comes across and is understandable to all.
Super!
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Wow. This is outstanding. Makes me want to go out and write a protest song. Lyrics are superb. All the more powerful for being subtle. Very relatable. We live in such a polarised world now, and this song absolutely nails the sadness of this fact.
Reminds me a bit of Dylan, who was the master of acoustic protest songs. Fine singing and playing. This is great work. Cheers Micky.
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Lovely stuff Tom. Really like the simple instrumentation, shows the song off well I think and highlights the melody and great lyrics, I wish I could write lyrics like that. Like Neil said, not too obvious. good work :)
Thank you Gina......I really appreciate the comments.
It's been too long since I listened to one of your songs. They are always so...something I need, apparently. I always enjoy your voice and guitar playing.
The opening melody line on each verse reminds me of something, but I can't think what. It might come to me. The whole melody and presentation suit the subject matter well, I think. It could be kind of a "protest song" like from the sixties. That's my era, so I'm drawn to it.
My only nits are prosody-related, on the word "mercy" in "Would I show mercy when the tables turn around" and on the word "country" in "But, berate this great Country" because the stress in the melody comes out opposite what it would be if spoken. The first one would be easy to bring into compliance, but the second would take some rewriting.
Besides, singing them that way might give the song a "feel" you're after...in which case, never mind.
That's all I have. Lovely guitar playing, as always. I have a guitar lesson tomorrow. Maybe I can learn to do that some day. :)
Vicki
Hi Vicki. Thank you for your comments. I always look forward to them. Thanks for missing me...it has been a while since posting something new. I appreciate the prosody comments. I toiled getting the lyrical content in order. I just might have to rework those points....we'll see.
Thanks again....and take care.
Hi Tom,
Great to hear from you again. How I love your playing, singing and songwriting. This is a beautifully written, played and performed song as all yours are. You should have a record deal, my friend.
M
Thanks Monty...….you have made my day ;-)
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Really like this - love your voice , so easy to listen to- would be great on a long car journey, it ticks all the boxes,-"good concept, good lyrics , has that human feeling to it , poet like I suppose Dylanesque
Really nice song
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Hi Tom.
Another cool and effortless track, Real easy to listen to.
Agree with Monty, why are we not hearing this commercially.
Studio versions of your tracks would be awesome. But love the feel of them, sound like you just sitting your lounge chilin.
Great work chap.
Andy
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That was a nice listen,
There were turns n twists in the voice that reminded me of my days when I was obsessed with Dylan's music.
Excellent guitar And production.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Rightly,
Thanks a lot for listening and commenting.....always appreciated, and always nice to be reminded of Dylan.
Thanks, again.
From the title I couldn't help thinking of "Inebriated Man" - that soon went when the playing started. Great composition and nice subtle political content.
Just one thing - there's quite a bit of audible breathing - not sure if that was when you did the guitar track... (Oh no, am I turning into "that guy"?) Anyway it's definitely human and live which is the way this music should be.
Hi Adam....not breathing....it the whoosh of street cars outside my home. I've learned to live with it.....sorry!
I'm glad you liked it......and thanks for listening and commenting!
It's great Tom, simple and thoughtful and well worth a few listens, getting better each time.
Still not sure on which side of the political dividing lines we have now, you come down on but that is part of the universality of the songwriting.
The frustration comes across and is understandable to all.
Super!
Thanks Tom.....I appreciate it. That is a great compliment. I didn't want his song to be grossely political and offensive....it's more about the frustration some of us are feeling in this ever changing culture. That's all.
Thanks, again, for listening and commenting.
Wow. This is outstanding. Makes me want to go out and write a protest song. Lyrics are superb. All the more powerful for being subtle. Very relatable. We live in such a polarised world now, and this song absolutely nails the sadness of this fact.
Reminds me a bit of Dylan, who was the master of acoustic protest songs. Fine singing and playing. This is great work. Cheers Micky.
Yea.......thanks for listening and commenting..........I wanted to make a turn in my writing and start writing about issues in my day to day life. It's refreshing to me, getting away from the "Love" songs I've been used to.
Thanks, man!
And thanks to all who have commented!
8) -Tom