[leetmendez]

A new indie/ambient inspired demo track I've just uploaded online -

Twist of Fate - https://soundcloud.com/user-599154357/twist-of-fate-by-uk-artist-lee-mendez-ambient

Lyrics:

Verse
I don't see you in the shadows
I don't see you in the stream
I don't see you in the mirror
I only see you in my dreams

Verse 2
But now my dream is over
And the night has disappeared
You've been chasing your tail
Fighting with the voices between your ears

Bridge
But lightning leads to thunder
And doubts leak in your mind
You feel you're going under
And you've misread all of the signs

Chorus
You say you want forgiveness
But you're unwilling to change
You've been walking on a tight rope
Always feeling the same

Verse 3
You are no longer around me
Within is a void
An empty feeling surrounds me
Down & devoid

Final Chorus
You say you want forgiveness
But you're unwilling to change
You've been walking on a tight rope
Always feeling the same
You feel you're going nowhere
But it ain't ever too late
This could be a magic moment
Or is it just a twist of fate

[giitlesriddles]

This song is very very chill. I feel like there's a little unwanted dissonance at times and it's very repetetive, but other than that. It does its job. Try to expand.
Write B Sections, change the layering. You shouldn't have a 6 minute long song that just seems flat the whole time. Keep on workin

[PaulyX]

Hey Lee, I like the drifting airy vibe of this... there's plenty of space in it, and the backing vocals are a nice touch too.  Somehow it makes me think of late 80s / early 90s 4AD indie bands like the Cocteau Twins.  I tend to agree with Glitlesridles though that it could do with just a little more dynamic change between the sections - maybe some extra instrumental layers in the chorus to beef them up, and maybe a change of vocal melody in the Bridge since (to my ears) the melody there seems similar to the verse.  Definitely got potential though if you say this is just a demo, hope you stick with it.

[Eline97]

Hi Lee! I think this is a nice demo, however, as said before, it's quite repetitive. Maybe the solution is to entirely change the chords and melody lines of the bridge, so you have something totally different between verses and chorus. I also had the feeling that some lines didn't really fit the music in terms of the number of syllables, for example: 'fighting with the voices between your ears'.

I do think that the song has potential if you make a few changes. Anyway, for the first demo version this is a good song!