Hey everyone, I am in the process of recording a number of songs that I have developed and would really appreciate some feedback. I haven't been playing piano or writing for very long (About a year) and so I don't have much technical knowledge etc. I am happy with what I have created but hope to receive a few tips on how to improve.
This song is called 'Fade', and I wrote it a while back in response to a rough breakup I experienced. One of my concerns is whether the break works after the second chorus, or if I should include some lyrics in that space to bring it together. It's not the best quality, I recorded on my phone and my vocals still need some work, but here is the link. Thanks in advance
It's better to have loved and lost
Than never loved at all
But here I stand about to fall
I'm broken in two and the missing piece is you
They say that time's a healer and that I'll be fine
But how do I live on if you're not mine
There's a hole in the space where you used to walk beside me
And I'm slowly wasting away
Slowly wasting away
Torn apart
And left to wait
You broke my heart
and that's my fate
Torn apart
and left to wait
until the day
you fade away
I can't eat or drink
Or even fall asleep
I never knew an angel could hurt me so deep
I'm bleeding inside
And this wound will never heal
I long for the clean mind of childhood
You're the only one who ever understood
Now I'm a living ghost
and the rest they see right through
And I'm slowly wasting away
Slowly wasting away
CHORUS
PIANO BREAK
CHORUS