[TO]

Sorry to be polluting the forum with my music. Last one I promise! This came from nothing in the last couple of hours, very different to what I normally right. Plan is for it too pick up into more of a rock track after where it ends here, unfortunately its 2am so I can't do vocals for that part without waking the house!

http://soundcloud.com/alexbklyn/back-demo

Lyrics:


I thought you're funny when you talk,
I thought you're funny when want to be.

When raindrops fell upon your skin,
I thought they ran like you’d just set them free.

But I don’t know you anymore.
But I don’t know you anymore.

You walked wear angels fear to tread,
But left a hole that cut me deep inside.

When somebody mentions your name,
I scan the floor so that my eyes can hide.

Cos I don’t know you anymore.
But I don’t know you anymore.

If I could go back,
Away from all of this,
Back to thoughts cut deep inside.
Yes I need it, I hope you need it.
Back,
Right to that final kiss,
Too when your love took up my mind.
Yes I need it, I hope you need it.

[stickboymusic]

yeh this is cool - i have to say it suits your voice a lot more.... softer and a little lower seems to be better for you

To my ears you seem to be putting a little american accent on some of the words "any more".

Its another good start..... i think it may be getting to a point where you should try finish some songs and then post them..... even if you're not totally sure about your final piece it will give others a little more to go at when offering advice/crit

You actually reminded me a bit of Ben Lee.... you know him?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJAorQM7sL8

[cheff daniel]

really fine song. needs a bridge perhaps after the second chorus, but there's a nice vibe overall. i like it.


gr.  Dan

[Songsmith]

Hi,
    really liked this, nice groove to it, I go along with cheff about the need for a mid 8 in there but it has the basis of a great song. Nice one

[bewarethisboy]

Yes love this - as already mentioned - from where you end here, maybe think about about bridge another verse or repeat chorus’s perhaps - Would love to hear the finished thing. Really like the guitar sound by the way - nice little touches in there. BTB

[Kafla]

Great feel to it TO

Sounds like snow patrol

Needs a change , but has lots of potential mate