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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Binladeda on June 22, 2017, 08:14:49 AM
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Hi Guys,
A song about Brighton Beach life ;D
This was a real joy to work on. Paul and Digger did all
the work. ;D I just supplied the backing track.
Paul. Vocals, Lyrics, Keys, Bass, and much more ;D
Digger. Mix, Production, Guitar, drums 'n stuff ;D
Me. Drums, bass, Guitar, Keys
.
It started life as a 60's inspired backing track. The Move,
Small Faces, that sort of thing. Then it was sent to Paul who
added some Brit Pop magic......the lyrics are the star of this
show for me ;D......Then to Digger who made it sparkle and
shine ;D.
I think Pauls lyrics have really captured a true 'essence' of what
it's like in Brighton. It's always had a very healthy music scene,
and a very active alternative culture. Everyone's an artist ;D
There's always something happening on the seafront in the summer.
It's a great place to be......so pull up a deckchair, grab an ice cream,
and enjoy the show ;D ;D
https://soundcloud.com/binladeda/p2p-mst-2
LYRICS
Come see the buskers down by the beach huts
Cranking out their sounds on a battered Strat
Mods on their Vespas, rolling a rizla or busting out a groove in newsboy hats
The club DJ all tan and muscle spins for the boys on the parade
The string quartet in mirrored shades play above the seagull serenade
The hen party hit the kareoke, the townswomen's guild do the hokey cokey
Round and round the bandstand full of gin
The sixth form kids on a bunk from school are letting it go with millenial whoops
Behind the arcade with their cheeky grins
The dodgem guard is on the sweeties
He loves the sound of the merry go round
The pipe organ and painted gee gees
It's pier to pier feedback, come on down
Summers got the best tunes so slide down to the surf
This city runs on music, we know we've got it and we're gonna to use it
A tattooed pierced octogenarian skanks on the shore with a rastafarian
Short on cash but full of dreams
And Krishna Krishna Hari comes
Flowers bells shaved head and drums
It's love and peace and tambourines
The dodgem guard his head is spinning
He knows he's had no better day
The sun sets and it's just beginning
It's pier to pier feedback all the way
Summers got the best tunes so slide down to the surf
This city runs on music, we know we've got it and we're gonna use it
Summers got the best tunes so slide down to the surf
This city runs on music, we know we've got it and we're gonna use it
Thanks for listening guys....hope you enjoy it as much as
I do ;D ;D
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Hello;
I m always commenting more on sound an music; hope that s ok.
the sound is kinda unique but really got my attention; except for the drums (far too quiet and no punch) i like the sound and mix.
The song has a really good groove and guitar riff - very catchy. great work. The vocals and melodies fit the song and instrumental.
You could add more life to the drum section (fills) - apart from that. Superb !
B
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Yo Bin,Paul and digger.
What a quality piece of music,wonderfully evocative lyrics,perfectly and eloquently capturing the scene.
I have no niggles whatsoever (maybe what Butcher said about the drums) and instead of trying to think of some gratuitous drivel,I'm just going to listen a few more times and save song to playlist.
Impressive work,y'all. 8)
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Thanks to Binladeda and Digger for the chance to chip in on this one.
Nothing to add to Bin's intro apart from to apologise for the bad pun in the title: we've got 2 piers in Brighton, the Palace Pier in the photo, and the West Pier (which is now just a burned-out skeleton but all the more atmospheric because of it). The space between these 2 piers on the seafront is one of the noisiest parts of town - buskers and street performers competing for attention etc... hence "Pier to Pier Feedback".
The URL above doesn't seem to have turned into a hyperlink so let me try again here:
https://soundcloud.com/binladeda/p2p-mst-2
Now we're past the solstice I guess it's officially summer now then - wishing you all a corker.
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This is a brilliant piece guys. You've really captured the South Coat vibe. I could relate to a lot of the lyrics based on where I live and I'm sure Brighton has been mobbed just recently. The lyrics in this song are the star of the show for me but it's all been done so well. It's catchy, infectious and I'm gonna have another listen :)
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Hi!
How nice with another summer collaboration!
Most of the intellectual content of the song was way over my head but
I enjoyed it on an emotional level. I have yet to decide if I'll have another
listen or if I want to keep this blurry first impression the nugget it is.
(I kind of envy you who live in such a vibrant environment. Where I live
culture mostly comes in the form of the political debate regarding the
annual declaration of yet another no-go zone). :(
Martin
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You should move to the South coast of England immediately Martin :)
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Well, just knew it was going to be good based on the participants.
Lovely vocals and melody lines.
Lyrics over my head but flowed nicely.
Guitar work is stellar, timing on everything flawless.
I was enjoying the English countryside for four minutes. ;D
Should do well in the big race ;D
Paul
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Hello fellas,
Great to hear a collaboration involving all three of you. 'Summer's got the best tunes so slide down to the surf' - is definitely the best part of the song for me. It's a little darker to the rest of the song too. However, summer-time rolls in from the opening of this song and the lyrics are indeed the star of the show, guiding us on a journey through Brighton life. Who penned the lyrics? I'll have to play this to my fiancée, she has lived in Brighton almost all of her adult life and owns a property in the South. We stay in Lancing maybe 3-4 times a year and often spend a day or two in Brighton. I'm sure that she'll relate the imagery of this. I listned twice and enjoyed this equally on both occasions. It's a beauty!
Paul
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Hi All,
reminded me of early Bowie, a companion piece to London Boys maybe. A little bass lite for me but that may just be my system.
A good performance all round.
Keith
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Hi Guys,
Thanks for the love ;D
Butcher.....Yeah....the drums ;D I think you have a point. Especially the fills.
But it was a bit of a rush job (just over a month I think) and I will be re-visiting. ;D
Thanks for 'kinda unique'......you're too kind ;D
Skub.....Thanks old chap ;D Glad to see you got those 'niggles' cured ;D All gratuitous
drivel welcome......I'm a big fan ;D It makes a change from my own Bullsht ;D ;D
PJ......Glad you enjoyed this. Yep, the lyrics ;D Reminded me a lot of your style. You and
Paul have GOT to get together, but you already know what I think about that ;D ;D
Martin...Thanks for your kind words. It's a pity that only Brits will fully understand
the genius that's in the lyrics. It's a cultural thing really. Only people who have grown
up here, and of a certain age, will appreciate the imagery and references that Paul
has used. eg. Krishna Krishna Hare comes, is one of my favourite lines. Brits would
get the Hare (here he) comes straight away, don't know if that sort of thing travels
well.....it is Brit Pop after all ;D ;D
Paulski..... Always a pleasure to hear from you ;D Yeah, it's a real pity that you
can't get into these lyrics. I know how keen you are in that dept. ;D and they are
sooo good. You'll just have to believe me when I tell you that they are clever, witty,
and evocative, and vote for us ;D ;D.......I'll be voting for you....promise ;D ;D
Paul...Didn't know you came down to my part of town. Lancing is 20 mins away.
Next time you're here let me know. You can buy me a pint ;D Funny how people
hear/see things differently 'aint it, because I think that the 'summer has the best
song' sections are the weak part of the song......if there is one. Currently, I'm playing
around with that part. I want to find a BIG musical hook for it. I agree with you about
the darker feel to it, so I'm looking to emphasize that with a Siouxsie and the Banshees
style guitar 'rip off' ;D ;D Don't know if I'll find one, or if it'll work, but it's an ongoing
thing for me. I think this one is worth the time and energy. Thanks again old friend ;D
Keith....I'll take a Bowie reference any day ;D I love what Digger has done with the bass
in this, it reminds me a bit of a stereo Rickenbacker I used to know ;D But you're right, it
could come forward a bit......balancing act again ;D thanks old chap...
Thank you all for taking the time to listen and comment. You all have extremely good taste ;D ;D
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Beautiful intro, magnificent orchestration in total :)
Melancholic vibe, a bit reminded, at least in the beginning the Cranberries.
Sweet and clean mix, beautiful guitar strumming.
Really great work, relaxing groove :)
Kris
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Being a Swede most of the lyrics are naturally lost on me but I enjoyed this nevertheless. Agree with Butcher re the drums and diademgroove re the bass and would like to add the processing of the vocals that was not quite to my taste but then again, all of that is just that, a matter of taste.
Overall the mix is spot on for the vibe of the song. Nice build up and some progression that I really dig (esp the 'summers got the best tunes')
Strong contender for sure, good luck!
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Strengths:
The melody. Love it! But the words...?? bring me to the...
Weaknesses:
I don't understand a large share of this song. I think it must be very British. What on earth are mods on vespas, rolling rizlas?? I kinda know "sixth form kids" but "on a bunk from school"? And the dodgem guard on sweeties. And painted gee gees. I think I fell into a foreign country and didn't know it....
One thing that could easily be fixed is the strong vs weak syllables on the word "organ" in the second verse or section of the song. Other than that, I really don't have any suggestions for improvements.
Still, apart from all that, I think this is a contender. It's catchy and fun to hear. I like the flowers, bells, shaved heads and drums. And the love and peace and tambourines. My kind of song. Takes me back to my college days.
Vicki
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Thanks for the comments Vicky - you and a few others have commented you can't understand the vernacular British lyrics, so here are some footnotes! I'm not too sure what's British and what isn't, but anyway:
- A Mod is someone dressed in the mid/late 60s fashion style.
- A Vespa is a type of Italian motorbike / scooter (that the Mods love - part of their image).
- A Rizla is a brand of rolling paper for making roll-up cigarettes.
- A "bunk from school" means running away and not going to school when you should do.
- Dodgems are a kind of fairground ride (maybe you call them bumper cars or something?). 'On the sweeties' is a veiled way of saying he's taken recreational drugs.
- Gee-gees = horses, so this is the painted wooden horses on the merry-go-round ride.
Hope that helps!
Pauly
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Thanks for the comments Vicky - you and a few others have commented you can't understand the vernacular British lyrics, so here are some footnotes! I'm not too sure what's British and what isn't, but anyway....
Thanks, Pauly. That helped a lot. I had since worked out the "bunked from school" line, as I saw it another place later and realized from the context what it had to be. And "Vespas" came back to me overnight; I apparently did know that one at one time. The rest, though, I would probably never have worked out on my own.
Vicki
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These lyrics are a work of art.
It's a real slice of English seaside life (Brighton, specifically here, maybe - but applicable to much of this spectered isle :P)
Great backing and production and a very enjoyable listen all round.
I've tried fitting lyrics to order and I find it really difficult to do...you've done a fantastic job here.
I take my "kiss me quick" hat off to you all :)
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Thanks guys,
Hope Pauls' explanation helped with the lyrics.
Yeah....the drums and bass could come up a bit,
But a small detail ;D I'm really pleased with what
we produced in such a short time, and it's still being
worked on. So any advice/crits/comments most welcome.
Thanks again for all your kind words folks
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Hi guys, a really good collaboration. I got a Bowie vibe to it, mainly from the vocal tone and the melody. Nice groove going on. Lyrics worked well and the instrumentation sounded good.
Good stuff guys!
Cheers
Jamie
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Awesome guys....this is hitting all 12 cylinders!! Like a super machine.......this is proving to be a fantastic chemistry....great collar. Original!!! Focused!!!! Inspired!!!!
Me thinks this is the finest summer song I've heard.......dam good, fellas!
8) -Tom
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Great Britpop tune with an irresistible vibe. Good melodies...especially at verse ends, the ascending bits...magic! Cool little bridge bit...not really a bridge at all...the 'summer's got the best tunes' bit.
Brilliantly evocative lyric....yeah we used to go down to Brighton to drink a few beers somewhere and hit the amusement arcades. In fact I spent many times there...my gran lived in Hove. Captures that seedy fairground/seaside feel so well.
Love the song...another one goes on my shortlist. Going to be difficult to pick top three!
Great collab guys.
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I thought I had commented here but obviously not. This is a great track, really great! Lyrics, music, vocals all do it for me. Well done!!
Thanks for sharing :)
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Hi,
I've never actually been to Brighton but this songs got me fancying a visit.
The clever lyrics paint a vibrant picture.
Considering this is a remote collaboration, it's come together remarkably well, you can't even see the joins or nuffin ☺️
Well done guys, great summer choon.
Yodasdad
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You guys really came together to create one fantastic track :) Your usual fantastic backing track Bin :)
Even though I'm not a Brit, I can totally appreciate the 'clever, witty and evocative' lyrics, and the great job of delivering them vocally :) And of course the icing on the top, is digger's mixing magic :)
Kudos to you all and good luck :)
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Wicked collaboration. Cool and quirky, much like Brighton. Excellent production, tons of fun and paints a fabulous picture of my favourite seaside haunt. Loved it.