[kevysc]

It's been a while, but nice to see a mix of newer and older posters here ...

This is an acoustic track I have been playing around with: would love comments and suggestions.

https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32412362-not-true


Not True

Don't you look away
I'm talking to you, there something you need to hear
Before it's too late
And you do something we'll both regret

You have been making the same mistakes
I've lost count how many times you said
That this must come to an end
But you don't mean it
You still need me

Chorus
You say that you love him still
Well we know that's not true
You say that you love you him still 
Well I know you
And you know it's not true
It's not true


I've been marking time
Waiting for the chance to take you away
And to make you mine
I deserve it, it's the least you can do
After all the time you left me hanging
With nothing better to lose
So don't you say goodbye
You're not leaving, it's not true

Chorus

[Jamie]

@kevysc

Hi, nice chord structures and the melody works well with them. Liked the ac guitar sounds, though i did find the bass a bit overpowering and a bit 'muddy'. Might be my monitors ....You sang it well too!

Nice one

Jamie

[Unclenny]

I like this.....kind of a classic ballad of unrequited love. I like the length....you say your piece and then leave us to consider it.

The bass didn't sound bad to me....listening on Sony 7506 cans, though and they don't represent the lows as well.

[kevysc]

I decided to add drums and change the tempo, plus flesh out the story: I think it works a lot better, but would love more comments

@Jamie you were probably right about the bass!

@Unclenny glad you liked it, that's kindof what I was initially going for, but hope you like the expanded version even more

[pompeyjazz]

Welcome back @kevysc I liked the acoustic vibe to this. I'm getting touches of Bowie - Great vocals and well produced

[MonnoDB]

Lovely melody in those verses.. chorus too of course but I was particularly grabbed initially by the verses. Really like that acoustic - some lovely progressions too...

I hear Bowie in your vocal too - even more so in the song that followed on RN - Sweetest sound is silence - cool song!!!

Lovely song @kevysc !!

K

[adamfarr]

The acoustic sound is lovely here. I also like the way this one doesn't get too hung up on rhymes - there's something honest and conversational about that. The lyric is straight to the point and I think that works here too.

Great melody and progression - though the beginning of the chorus felt a little like a pre-chorus and I thought a third section might be coming.

I may have listened to a later version but everything in this mix sounds good to me.

[MichaelA]

Hi Kev, this is quite a departure from your synth productions. A good one too, as the unplugged nature of the song makes you concentrate on the songwriting, the singer and the lyrics. All pass the test well. I really liked that chorus, as it’s not in her face catchy, but has got a subtlety to it that makes it very easy on the ear, especially on second listen. Yep, I like this understated version of you 

[montydog]

Hello @kevysc
Nice to hear from you again. I'm getting the Bowie thing as well. Must be true. And Starsailor if you remember them. I love the rhythm that you establish at the beginning and that carries this along beautifully. Very subtle arrangement with a lot of lovely, mellow things going on - I really like that. Nothing gets in the way of what your singing but it is supported perfectly by your arrangement and instrument choice. Perfect. Did I say perfect?
Vocally I thought this was excellent - easy, conversational delivery of a great set of lyrics, the melody sounds like it was always there in that super country/folky way of the best songs.
Overall, I thought this was a triumph. Give me an album's worth, please.
M

[Wicked Deeds]

Hello @Kevysc,,

I instantly liked this from the opening chords, lovely rhythm and fine vocal melody. The bass drum is booming through my speakers, like it is clipping.  My speakers are studio quality without any enhanced frequencies so it would see like there's a problem with the recording level here.  I hope you can address this as  I think this is a great song. You've achieved a wonderful blend of guitars here. Th melody is a little edgy, keeping the listener on his/her toes.  I really like that. Thi is a super song.

Paul

[IronKnee]

Wow........grabbed me right away with a Steely Dan vibe meets Bowie vocals.
Love the groove. Great recording.
The lyric seems to have typos....third line in the chorus??
Good stuff, Kevin...........
                                                    -T

[ChrisPrice]

@kevysc
A great song with some interesting shifts. I particularly like the change as you go into the chorus. Also I really like the vocal and the lyrics. The drums work well, though for me the kick is perhaps a little bit too loud. Nonetheless I really enjoyed listening to this.

[kevysc]

@pompeyjazz @MonnoDB @adamfarr @MichaelA @montydog

Many thanks as always for the excellent feedback and glad you like the acoustic sound. I was without my recording studio for a while during lockdown and hence spent a lot of time noodling on my guitar: I have 47 "tunes" recorded on my phone, so, one song every two weeks to the forum, that should keep me going for a while


@Wicked Deeds @ChrisPrice Thanks for spotting the problem with the bass drum ! I played around with it and think I have managed to fix it. I've uploaded a revised version.

@IronKnee For the life of me, I can't find the typo! Please help, I'm getting obsessed