The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: crystalsuzy on December 14, 2021, 03:45:02 AM
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Hi guys,
I haven't been around much but I thought I'd share my latest creation(well my only creation for awhile now) The lyrics are original but it's a take-off on "The Monster Mash" ;) I'd hope to get it done for Halloween, but alas it didn't happen. I hope you find it somewhat humorous. Any advice on the mix, etc would be much appreciated ;D I will be reviewing some songs shortly
https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/the-monster-jab?si=7402a3815e3f460786459af3b1f0fb0a&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
I was working in the Woo Han lab one night
On a deadly virus that gave me a fright
A bat got loose and the virus escaped
And quickly spread through the human race
We need a jab! A monster jab
A monster jab! That’s made in a lab
We need a jab! That we must have
We need a jab! Ya, a monster jab
So Igor went to work, in the very same lab
Within a few days, he’d made the jab
Tested on vampires, so it must be safe
The humans were told, to just have faith
We have a jab! A monster jab
A monster jab! Igor’s made in the lab
Trust the jab! It’s not a money grab
We have a jab! It’s really fab!
A zombie apocalypse has begun
The great divide is so much fun
Most trust the jab, but there are some
That think it might be a little, underdone
This bad little virus is running a-muck
It’s caused a pandemic, which really sucks
Now everyone’s masked and filled with fear
We can’t go to pubs and drink our beer
So get the jab! It’s the answer, it’s clear
The monster jab! You have nothing to fear
Get the jab! We’ll buy you a beer
Get the jab! Or loose your career
If anyone doesn’t get the jab
They’re going on the rack and that’s real sad
Igor’s chewing at the bit
To torture those, that won’t submit
Oh life could be a dream
If everyone would get the jab today
Then we could a be in paradise again
Life could be a dream for all
So trust in the lab, that made the bug,
That made us sick, so we lost our jobs
So trust the lab that made the jab today
Cause they all know what’s best for us
And we don’t have a say
So do what you’re told and don’t make a fuss
That way we’ll get to play
Cause we just want to be happy, happy in paradise
We just want to be happy everyday
So come on humans, get with the program
Get your jab passports for the grand slam
Sign up for the jabs, as many as it takes
Lets knock this bug out for heavens sakes
So get the jab! Ya, the monster jab
The monster jab! You must get stabbed
Get the jab! Or end up on a slab
Get the jab! Unless you’re a crab…it’s the only exemption
I have added this video to go with it :)
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great to hear you again
very wacky stuff, musically
there are lots of nutty opinions and practices
I hate the manipulation surrounding the pandemic
I hate hearing from coincidence theorists.
I had the jab and was ill from the side effects, first time I've been sick in decades.
tough times
I was never a fan of the original monster mash.
ah well.
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Hola @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
I've had a great time listening to the song. The mix, maybe it could be good if the backing has more volume and a lower frequency?
Mora
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Very clever @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) and wonderfully whacky as usual! I agree with @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) that the backing could be brought up and particularly those BVs..
You are so creative and the lyrics are a blast! Love the transitions..
Great to see you back! Hope to hear more from you!
K
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) - Brilliant! totally captivating, I can imagine a collab bvetween you and @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
It sort of reminded me of Bohemian Rhapsody, the way it moved between scenes, but musically it's really cool.
Great to hear from you again Suzy
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Lyrics are brilliant…a mad-cap rollercoaster ride of laughing in the face of lunacy.
I would maybe tried to have got the backing track a little more sorted…but it doesn’t alter the super fun that’s served up.
Always lovely to hear from you, CS
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) - Brilliant! totally captivating, I can imagine a collab bvetween you and @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
It sort of reminded me of Bohemian Rhapsody, the way it moved between scenes, but musically it's really cool.
Great to hear from you again Suzy
#cowparsleyman
I must not forget to get you on the payroll
I'm fabulously talented, no doubt, as is Suzy, needless to say
if she can use me I can be found.
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Err..the saviour of the human race. We need this right now!! :)
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great to hear you again
very wacky stuff, musically
there are lots of nutty opinions and practices
I hate the manipulation surrounding the pandemic
I hate hearing from coincidence theorists.
I had the jab and was ill from the side effects, first time I've been sick in decades.
tough times
I was never a fan of the original monster mash.
ah well.
Thanks for taking a listen, even though 'The Monster Mash' was never your cup of tea...not really mine either but this just suited it so well, I just had to do it.
I hate the manipulation surrounding this pandemic as well and it just never seems to end.
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Hola @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
I've had a great time listening to the song. The mix, maybe it could be good if the backing has more volume and a lower frequency?
Mora
Thanks Mora and I'm glad you enjoyed the listen. I worked on the mix l little so I hope its sounds a little better.
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Very clever @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) and wonderfully whacky as usual! I agree with @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) that the backing could be brought up and particularly those BVs..
You are so creative and the lyrics are a blast! Love the transitions..
Great to see you back! Hope to hear more from you!
K
Thanks so much K, I hope to be a little more active on the forum in the near future.
I worked on the mix, so I hope it sounds a little better.
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) - Brilliant! totally captivating, I can imagine a collab bvetween you and @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
It sort of reminded me of Bohemian Rhapsody, the way it moved between scenes, but musically it's really cool.
Great to hear from you again Suzy
Thanks for your kind accolades Rich. "Bohemian Rhapsody"! WOW! thanks!
I'm hoping to be more active on the forum in the new year.
I hope others will be as well.
It's been mentioned before that rightly and I join forces at some point.
I'm totally open to that, so we'll see...
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Hiya Suzy!! So good to hear a song of yours again….it’s been too long!🤩🎶👍🏻🎶 I always enjoy your wild and wacky creations…this was a lot of fun to listen to….I wonder if on the strength of this some may dress up as crabs and try and get in the pub unvaccinated??🤪😆🤦🏼♂️ Well done mate!🍻👊🏻
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Lyrics are brilliant…a mad-cap rollercoaster ride of laughing in the face of lunacy.
I would maybe tried to have got the backing track a little more sorted…but it doesn’t alter the super fun that’s served up.
Always lovely to hear from you, CS
Thanks Paul, I'm humbled. I've tried to remix the backing track. Hopefully it sounds a little better.
It was sure nice to hear a new song from you as well. Seems we're on the same roller-coaster ride.
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Hi Suzy, lovely pastiche of 50s styles. I particularly liked the section that starts with "life could be a dream"... that's pretty (works well with or without the comedy of the lyrics). Hilarious closing line too about the crabs... I dig it when your tracks get surreal. Mix sounded good, I did like the effect on the main deep voice but once or twice I couldn't make out what it was saying without reading the lyrics, maybe something to help that cut through the mix a little more would be good. Had loads of fun listening to this.
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) - Brilliant! totally captivating, I can imagine a collab bvetween you and @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
It sort of reminded me of Bohemian Rhapsody, the way it moved between scenes, but musically it's really cool.
Great to hear from you again Suzy
#cowparsleyman
I must not forget to get you on the payroll
I'm fabulously talented, no doubt, as is Suzy, needless to say
if she can use me I can be found.
LOL! You are no doubt talented...me...well...I have my doubts. I also can be found if you think you can use me.
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947), straight from the laboratory of experiments comes 'The Monster Jab', it's a welcome blast of cool, light-hearted fun!
Lovely twist in the middle; a delightful melodic treat!
Excellent!
Paul
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My son in law made this video to go with this song. I hope you enjoy and find it humorous :) :)
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fact is indeed stranger than fiction
and this video is great!!!
permission to share
you're mad in an agreeable way!
y'know don't tell me Not to share the video
I'll take that as permission to share it. This is what waiting looks like!
lol.
Good work Suzzy, keep shining!
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
Hi CS, if I'd heard this without knowing it was you, I'd have known it was you. Great fun and a lovely pastiche of styles. Lyrically fun. I also agree with the comments on the overall sound, but it didn't;t detract from the enjoyment.
Nice one CS!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hiya Suzy!! So good to hear a song of yours again….it’s been too long!🤩🎶👍🏻🎶 I always enjoy your wild and wacky creations…this was a lot of fun to listen to….I wonder if on the strength of this some may dress up as crabs and try and get in the pub unvaccinated??🤪😆🤦🏼♂️ Well done mate!🍻👊🏻
Thanks so much Leo. I'm glad you appreciate my wild and wacky creations. If you get a chance to watch the video, you'll notice the dancing crabs at the end...lol!
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As for the mix, it seems to me that maybe it's needed to lower the level of the vocals and raise the musical accompaniment. In some moments the voice covers the music.
The vocal itself is very original, great for the theme.
Well, "shi bom, shi bom" is an eternal classic that will always sound fantastic!
Maya
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Yo Suzy.
Still as madcap as ever,judging by this epic offering!
Finding humour in a crap situation is a very human trait and some are better at the 'joke with a jag' thing which is very much your forte.
Thanks for the laugh. 8)
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Hi Suzy, lovely pastiche of 50s styles. I particularly liked the section that starts with "life could be a dream"... that's pretty (works well with or without the comedy of the lyrics). Hilarious closing line too about the crabs... I dig it when your tracks get surreal. Mix sounded good, I did like the effect on the main deep voice but once or twice I couldn't make out what it was saying without reading the lyrics, maybe something to help that cut through the mix a little more would be good. Had loads of fun listening to this.
Hi PaulX, Sorry I've taken so long to thank you for your very kind comments. I know what you mean about the low vocal not coming through clearly in some spots. That's why I have the word in the video. I'm not very good at EQ, but I did work on it a bit. I really liked singing the Sha Boom section. I should write more 50's tunes. LOL!
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947), straight from the laboratory of experiments comes 'The Monster Jab', it's a welcome blast of cool, light-hearted fun!
Lovely twist in the middle; a delightful melodic treat!
Excellent!
Paul
Thanks Paul, I'm glad the lighthearted vibe came through loud and clear, cause that was one of my main intentions. Lighten things up around this subject. The middle was fun to do.