Songwriter Forum > Feedback on Works in Progress

Don't Leave Me

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Peppermint:
Hey everyone,

Here is a song I've made,
It's not finished yet but I wanted to get a bit of feedback to see if it sounds ok.
Usually i do Lyrics first and then put it to music but I've done it the other way around by doing the music first and lyrics after.

The only problem with that is that the lyrics can sound forced which I think might have happened to this song.

There's no singer yet so it's just the Instrumental at the moment.

The song is about a guy who's girlfriend is walking out on him.

https://soundcloud.com/peppermint3/dont-leave-me/s-XjDv6

Don't Leave Me
Your are so beautiful,
You melt my eyes,
And now you're leaving me,
You've made me cry

Don’t leave me, Don’t leave me,
I need you, I need you,
Don’t leave me, Don’t leave,
I need you, I need you,

(Start Trumpet Instrumental)

There you go,
Your leaving home,
And I will cry,
Until you come home.

A thousand tears,
Fall from my eyes.

(End of Trumpet Instrumental)

The house is empty,
And I’m all alone,
Without you near me,
Won’t you please come home.

Where are you, Where are you
I need you, I need you
Where are you, Where are you
I need you, I need you

darreldo:
would prefer you to sing this, even if you arent a great singer. i arent. i just do it to get my point across. Can't really judge until i hear it sung. lots of crackling on the intrumental too, maybe that needs sorting

man of simple pleasures:
not really big on instrumentals! get your vocals on there sunshine!

habiTat:
Yeah I agree, stick a vocal on there, even if you talk it, just so we can get a better feel..

There are some pops and clicks, might just be soundcloud though.  ???

Aside from that its a very regal sounding piece, like a movie score, it throws up images of battles for me.

Nice.

hab..

Peppermint:
Hey everyone,

Not sure why its making those clicks and pops.
Think its a problem with my exporter software.

I think the volume was too high when recording it possibly?

Yes i was going to sing on it eventually just wanted to see what everyone thought of the instrumental first.

So far no one seems to like it so I've defiantly got to go back to the drawing board with this one :(.

Thanks for the feedback.

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