The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Wicked Deeds on December 29, 2021, 10:29:38 AM
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I'm not sure when I will next produce a song with multiple instruments but I know that I will write many, many songs in the future that are stripped back. This is a recent song called "Home Is Right Here By My Side." There are a number of references to the game of tennis but they are a little too personal to discuss. Most importantly, Marie and I have bought a Brand New House in the Southeast of England. It broke the bank! However, our hearts are very much in tact. This is another song for Marie. May we continue to grow as we share our lives and enjoy many wonderful times together.
https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/home-is-right-here-by-my-side
Home Is Right Her By My Side
It’s cold outside this winters day.
December takes our breath away.
We amble to the ice rink in the park.
If snow falls all around where sadness can’t be found
then I won’t be surprised.
You ask me does our love eclipse
the hurt of other partnerships.
Observe, as I go dancing through the stars.
If snow falls all around where sadness can’t be found
then I won’t be surprised.
Home should always be right here.
Kick of your tennis. shoes.
Another set won’t take away your blues
Home is right here by my side.
Home is right here by my side.
We’ve both had our heartaches; fools to the game
‘Aint ‘ that a shame.
Home should always be right here.
Kick of your tennis. Shoes.
Another set won’t take away your blues
Home is right here by my side.
Home is right here by my side.
Written by Pau Vasey December 2021
https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/home-is-right-here-by-my-side
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Hi Paul, I really enjoyed the stripped back approach and you have such an amazing talent for a melody. This was a lovely laid back listen with some delightful instrumental touches. Top quality work from a top quality writer. Congrats to you and Marie on your new pad :)
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hi buddy
nice song!
those 2st two verses are lovely
(I was a bit worried, I thought you might want to write / sing "home is right right her", you didn't. lol)
I think the song allows for a female voice to come in
around "if the snow falls..."
As it is
although a charming song I couldn't help thinking it sounds a little rushed.
(don't be mad about m' observations)
_________
P.S.
end of year chaos
but all good things come to those wait
Don't lose faith!
I hope only the good things of this season are running through your life.
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Thanks @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) and @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219). Two contrasting reviews but thank you both for listening. This is a personal favourite of mine. Increasingly, I'm pleasing myself and not sticking rigidly to established structures. I'm more happy to follow my instincts and communicate an idea. Here, I'm presenting a mood of wonder and happines. Paul
Paul
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Hi Paul, great guitar pattern and melody. Wasn't mad about the way the second vocal works but overall I like it!
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Love this…you’re a real artist.
Every syllable is wrung out for its optimal harvest.
Sweet guitar playing…light and airy…and perfectly done.
I love the honesty in your writing too…you wear your heart on your sleeve unashamedly…that’s not an easy thing to do for so many.
And your heart’s in the right place.
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Hi Paul, great to hear this (and glad you are still happy getting settled in the south east). It's a charming, intimate track. It sounds like you were right up by the mic singing it so we can hear all the details / warmth in your voice - it sounds "pure and innocent" which I am sure is the vibe you were after, as it is not crammed full of effects or anything. The production is a good fit for the images of a crisp December morning.... sometimes the world seems extra quiet when it is cold, don't you think? The guitar pattern is lovely... thought it was quite unusual, the way it just 'tickles' without ever going in to straight strumming. I was a bit thrown by the way the words 'blues' and 'home' overlap - I think I'd be inclined to keep a bar between them (keep up the natural, one voice vibe...).. The image laden lyrics are a gentle treat too. Very nice work.
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Hola @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
I love the cadence of the song, the dance that the backing has and the voice moves over.
Very nice song, very nice to really listen to.
The lyrics are beautiful, deep and simple like all good things.
Buenos díasd!!!í
Mora
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Thank you @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233), @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253), @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588)
I don't think the song needs anything else. In fact it would overcrowd what is already there.
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253), I am flattered!
Lovely comments all round. That you all sincerely for.
Paul
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@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
Hi Paul, super polished backing track, love the guitar strummery :o! Great vocals highlight a very personal and heartfelt lyric.
Excellent!
Jamie
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Hi Paul,
This song was such a lovely one to listen to...several times. It has an innocence about it that carries right through the voice, melody, lyrics and
production :) can't go wrong with that IMO...beautifully done :)
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@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) - I was hooked right from the off, you know I'm always listening fort he production, and this was excellent, especially liked the verb on the gtr. It's been great to follow your love for Marie, liek a slowly evolving story. She must be something very special.
Oooh the South East... after years in Essex and Kent, I couldn't wait to move away, I wish you well down there.
Maybe this woudl be a good one for your Live in the kitchen videos you used to do.
Hope all goes well with the move Paul.
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I feel freshness of a cold and snowy morning and this romantic melody like starts playing in my mind!
Beautiful vocals, crystal sounding guitar. The feeling is amazing!
Maya