Hmm, now a male singing this would just be creepy - or maybe there's a double standard making me think that.. Regarding the use of cliche - I guess it's a question of wanting to write a good lyric, or something that's gonna sell - there's an argument for either approach!
I too thought ecstasy doesn't have the impact you want - I would replace it with "You're my SEX SLAVE" (sorry to SHOUT) as that really blasts and sticks to the theme. Genre - maybe racey country or rock. It's a bit too edgey for pop IMO.
Nice one!
Paul
That's just your personal opinion, as either sex could sing this.
I'd say be prepared to be creeped out coz a male is gonna sing it
Thanks for the sugg but it doesn't rhyme with my chorus. I love the ecstasy in it , think it's a great hook and apart from you and Jess everyone else seems to love it too Impact wise.... So I think the jury's in on that already.
Thanks for the feedback, yeah definately going to be Rock I think.
Cheers
G
Oh BTW - In the Writing Process board, I posted an interesting guideline on "Things to consider when offering critique" - It's worth checking out, really some pearls of wisdom there. I'll just post a couple of extracts here from it to give you an idea.........
3.Critique is a discussion. It is not an argument, there are no winners and losers, there is only "trying to improve the song". Don't pronounce your opinion believing it is absolutely right. You are not a god of song writing or recording.
4.Be honest, but be respectful of the member's critique preferences. If they don't want a blunt thorough comment don't post it. If you have comments and suggestions, ASK the member if you can post your comments and suggestions.
5.Every writer here has passed or still has to pass the point where they realise that they are not as amazing a writer as they think they are. It can be uncomfortable and confidence sapping. Please remember the writer you are dealing with may not have had that epiphany yet. It is not up to you to make them confront that moment of self awareness. That happens in it's own time.