The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Ramshackles on May 31, 2018, 10:40:27 PM
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So here is our entry....just about made it!
It is not at all finished or recorded how I would've liked but we decided to go waaaaaaaaaaay out of our comfort zone on this one. When it came to actually playing it we just threw up mics and recorded what we practised so it is very....raw....
I tried to go for something as manic as the drums :D
...And it wouldn't be us if we didn't cheat and mess around with those drums a lot :D
Lyrics:
Start picking bones to meet our ends
Burn our homes and start again
I will shed this skin of mine
Cracking with the trials of time
Is a weed upon my wall
There I perch, destined to fall
Try to shed this skin of mine
Cracking with the trials of time
Turning round my thoughtless mind
So begins a new bloodline
For love, for love, for love we tore it down
We changed skin, we're so thin, for love we tore it down
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Oh ! That is so friggin clever @Ramshackles (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6887) Blew me away to be honest. Fantastic interpretation. What wonderful vocals and the instrumentation is 3 dimensional. So much going on. Superb stuff
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Ha! You guys are crazy.
I loved the kind of medieval carnival kind of thing I was getting from this. Really off-the-wall. This is just the kind of thing I was hoping to hear too. The time constraint requires a sort of mad dash approach which has thrown up some amazing stuff.
Thanks for entering!
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Yo Ram.
Very,very cleverly done.
Love the whole medieval feel,you'd never guess there was a punk drummer behind it all.
I'm amazed. I think this comp has blown open the doors of diversity in the forum,what a bunch of marvellous weirdos y'all are! :D
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Nice one -zany stuff right down to the tight-pants vocals ;D
Such a variety in this comp - we'll be comparing apples and oranges and bananas, and grapes and...
Enjoyed it
Paul
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Thanks @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) & @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253)
I'm a bit surprised by the medieval comparisons since I stuffed it full of synths and gave it a sort of Motown outro!
I guess Ye Olde Worlde makes its way into everything we do. I do wish I could live as a minstrel or troubadour...
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Another great song - brilliantly sung and put together- didn't really do it for me - I like your voice in your folk style stuff more - I think it's better suited for it
Katie xxx
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Neat idea Ram and neatly executed...WOW!
Loving the vocals...and digging the organ from the slowed down bit on ...yeah! Goes out really nicely from this point....very sixties folkie for me.
Great and novel use of the drum track.
Love the song...really nice! Groovy even!
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Hi!
I hear hints of many artists. But mostly it sounds, and I mean this in the best possible way, like a well arranged pop song performance of one of those kindergarten records I had as a child. Whole bunch of bands with that sound in Sweden, just more acoustic. Anyway great song!
Martin
Edit. I miss lyrics.
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Whato Shackles, superb work, really dig it, and blinkin clever. Beautiful prod.
Thanks for a great listen
cpm
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Hi Ram
been waiting to hear what you'd do with this, and definitely not disappointed!
The intro has shades of a medieval feel, both with the Uke(?) and melody line, and then I like the way it moves up when the bass and louder drums come in, with the arpeggios still carrying that medieval touch.
Love the break too
Really lovely singing on this, and a power and immediacy in the sound and mix.
Shades of 70s folk prog all over it - love it!
It may be thrown together rough and ready, but I have a sneaky feeling it sounds all the better for it - retains a lot of the energy!
Brilliant
Dave
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@Martinswede (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20851)
added lyrics
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I love, love, love this. It has such a lovely, lilting melody and the light, airy, effortless vocal gives me waves of envy. Or would, if I dwelt on it. ::)
I have no nits.
Vicki
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Super different, such a light and melodic result.
Very catchy (a bit frantic with the drums but that's kind of the challenge I suppose!)
The organ really added something dancy, images of Maypoles...
Fantastic stuff.
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@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) Thanks! Probably the most positive response we've had on a song :D All credit to the effortless vocal goes to the effortless singer. Seriously, she had no idea what the song was before recording, we practiced it twice at the piano and then she did 5 takes all in a row. I just comp'd the best overall take together and that was it.
@Martinswede (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20851) I sometimes think tunes I come up with sound a bit nursery-rhyme-ish. What was it in particular? The melody or arrangement? something else?
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Mostly the melody. Also the high vocals.
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Absolutely beautiful - reminded me of...Renaissance! From a Clash drum track - how the heck does that happen? So clever, original and melodic. I loved it.
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This is really cool. I really liked it a lot. It feels timeless and slightly eccentric, in a good way. Really special and unique entry.
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Heya Ramshack,
Good to see you sharing!
Those lyrics, bloody hell, they peel back the layers and hit where it matters. Very quatable.. infact
Start picking bones to meet our ends
Burn our homes and start again
I will shed this skin of mine
Cracking with the trials of time
Bloody beautiful, I want to etch it onto my wall - then watch whilst burning the whole thing down.
Ha wasn't expecting the cheery female vocals and upbeat accompanyment at all - which just makes it all the better. Extraordinary really, all that energy thrown into the song like a crazy abstract paiting that both excites and contains subtle beauty.
I don't know man, just what it is to me, beautiful.
All the best,
Scott.
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loving this ram
enchanting & joyous
vocals amazing what a voice
beautifully pure
love the arrangmnt
steel drums? and keys..
george martin pop up did he ?
plus dizzyfying panning on the outro
marvellous
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Hi, really enjoyed this, a bit of Sandy Denny folk merged with a bit of Jethro Tull prog rock. Nice arrangement and instrumentation.
Good stuff!
Cheers
Jamie
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Totally different vibe that that we got from anyone else, and is really refreshing for it.
The acoustic sounds at the start and the echo of the drums all work really well.
Found it all got a little scrappy at the end but I know it is hard with the live drum track to get everything perfect.
Really enjoyable, thanks!
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Funny I just listened to this again and i really liked it where as before I wasn't over gone - strange how that can happen
Going to add it to my playlist
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A worthy place in the top 3!
Well done
Dave
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EXCELLENT, enough said