[Steng]

One of routes I walk our dog Alfie (a Lagotto Romagnolo) gives a view across Frodsham marshes and the small wind farm. If you're lucky you may get to see the Starlings do their murmuration thing.

I have fiddled with the mix of this song for yonks and still can't decide if it sounds right.  Feedback appreciated on where I could improve.

Thanks guys.

https://soundcloud.com/steve-cardus/starlings-1

Acoustic Version - https://soundcloud.com/steve-cardus/starlings-acoustic
----------------------------------------
The crowds gather before the show
One man and Lagotto walk below
Liverpool backdrop familiar sketch
White giants stand tall at the water’s edge

A murmuration exaltation mystery dance
A hypnotising mesmerising mystery dance

Above the marsh gigantic turbines spin
Explosion of starlings 10,000 wings
Rushing morphing passerine flight
Black metallic liquid clouds amaze delight

A murmuration exaltation mystery dance
A hypnotising mesmerising mystery dance

Sky ink black as twilight fades
A graceful flight undulating waves
The flock wheels in between the masts
One man and Lagotto leave and applaud the cast

A murmuration exaltation mystery dance
A hypnotising mesmerising mystery dance

[Martinswede]

Hi Steng!

I like your song. It would fit in the car on the road driving towards the
spring in the south.

To me the 'A murmuration...' doesn't really work as a chorus. It feels more
like a middle 8 or bridge. Maybe you should add a completely new part
as a chorus.

The mix is a bit too spacious to me. Getting a bit seasick frankly while listening
in headphones(same feeling on speakers). I'd do the drums in more or less mono.
To me too much is going on trying to give life to the song but it just confuses me
I'm afraid. The chorus is much more focused. I like that.

Not much more to add. A good song, just too crowded with sounds.
Hate to say it but keep mixing!   

Martin

[shadowfax]

unusual topic for a song, nice lyrics, very nice backing track..like it have you considered a higher key? I think it would sing better up a tone maybe..

fine work mate...like the backwards stuff!!

interesting to see peeps different takes on this..I never felt sea sick at all!!

[pompeyjazz]

Another quality piece of work Mr Steng. You paint a wonderfully descriptive picture with your lyrics. I loved the phychedelic feel and you managed to retain your own unique style as well. Great stuff

[Darren1664]

Excellent lyrics mate!! Really excellent!

I liked the song too. I think there might be something a little off with the mix but I don't know enough to say where but the chords, melody and lyrics are spot on!! I'd be curious to hear a stripped back acoustic version if you have a chance to record it that way. The chorus is really catchy and on second listen it really sinks into the brain (Hypnotising ). I enjoyed it.

All the best
Darren

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

Nice, very laid back and relaxing. I like the way the melody drops down and resolves at the end of the chorus on the word dance.

Sounds like some Indian influenced ideas in there, thought I might of heard some backwards guitar in there at one point, although I have only listened once so could be wrong. Quite Beatles experimental in places.

In terms of the mix, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I might add a bit more punch and depth to the toms at the start and the drums in general and maybe a touch louder with some of the lead guitar ideas.

Well done

Yodasdad

[tina m]

Im not keen on starlings ...they jump up & down on my roof & wake me up & then all sit in formation on the telephone line & poo all over my car!
But now I know why..they are  practising for you & their Red Arrows acrobatics & bomb dropping display up north!
ive liked your other songs & felt they were very strong melody wise
but this had a drone/dirge like quality I wasnt so keen on & I wasnt sure if the melody didnt actually clash with the music in places..it didnt sound right?
but maybe thats the sound of starlings in flight ..ive never actually listened carefully to them before 
But the lyrics are very interesting & make for a great song
 

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Interesting one....like the chorus a lot...nothing wrong with that 'murmuration' at all.

Agree with whoever said there's too much going on from the word go...all that background through the verses could be better employed more sparingly I reckon...that good, sparser chorus comes in like a relief (for me, I hasten to add!).

Really nice chorus...just gets better each time.

[boolio]

Hi,

I didn't think I was going to buy into this but actually you capture the scene very well - we get the same aerial ballet on Salisbury Plain at certain times of year.
Nice hypnotic melodies and great overall chill out vibe perhaps the lyrics are a little too 'precise' but still a nice listen
Phil

[PaulAds]

I really enjoyed this one...

maybe the vocal would be helped by transposing it up a little...but it's a lovely little tune...

Nicely done 

[Skub]

Yo Steng.

A very interesting and intriguing listen.

Great lyrics and a brilliant topic idea. I've always loved the aerobatics of Sturnus Vulgaris. They are noisy when in a flock,but they have a beautiful array of sounds comprising their song if you are fortunate enough to hear one solo.

Bringing the song up a tone,as others have mentioned may not be a bad idea,but it didn't spoil the song the way it is. 

[lillypilly]

I like the lyrics a lot but to be honest did not like the way it was put together, there was too much going on. The lyrics are the important thing in this so my personal preference would be go acoustic finger style arrangement

cheers

Lilly

[Steng]

Thanks all for the listening and for the constructive feedback - I will (eventually) go back to the original and look at the mix again.  I had a couple of hours today so prompted by Darren I decided to do an acoustic version.  I'm afraid I'm not clever enough to do finger style (Lilly) so it's pretty basic strumming.
Link is just above the lyrics in the initial post (above).

I trust I haven't broken the rules by posting the same song twice   

Cheers

Steng

[scaw]

This is an interesting subject for a song. i think a song is more than just the words/vocals, the music can set a mood. I think you achieve this with the music. The swirly guitar makes me think of the birds swooping around and the dark bass fits the evening setting. The second verse could be remixed but otherwise this is really good.

[mickyplankton]

Well i wasnt sure what to expect with this. I had no idea how you were going to translate this concept into a song - but it definitely works. The standout is the vocal melody - which is the best from you yet in my opinion. The tune is so infectious i was humming away long after listening. And for once, the guitars take a back seat a bit which totally works. An enjoyable and easy listen. Great stuff. Micky.