konalavadome

New demo. Constructive feedback mandated by the Dept. of Homeland Security.

  • 2 Replies
  • 682 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Back to the water

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 11
  • We shine too bright to see.
« on: October 11, 2011, 11:50:52 PM »
This is a new song. Please feel free to give me some feedback. I can take constructive criticism. Thank you!!
http://soundcloud.com/a-jesus-fillet/up-from-the-mud
 
UP FROM THE MUD

New York and her people sleep sound,
In gravel pit beds to wake fully rested.
The state is well represented.
So, I'll be in holding tonight.
My defense throws up his hands.
The judge screams and screams CONTEMPT!
Court doors push open, and
Reporters rush in.
Flash bulbs drown out the crowd.
The defendant has a statement to make;
This country is built on its people's mistakes.
So, pay taxes on all you take,
Or you'll be the mf'er paying the price.

Do I dare to part my hair?
Do I dare to eat a peach?
I can hear the mermaids singing, each to each.
They don't sing for me.
Its when you're lost, you're found.
Until human voices wake us,
and we drown.*

God pulled Adam up from the mud,
And marveled at the work he'd done.
The sweetest fruit is the lowest hung.
And, the rivers did flood.
The rivers did flood.
I've got fists full of cattle blood.
Melted gold into statues of Baal.
Getting high on a yellow sun,
And, the rivers did flood.
The rivers did flood.
The universe does revolve under lucky stars, And where we stand is a place that is ours,
We begin to mesh in burning sentiments, And send light out from the shallows of our breath,
We broadcast sparks into the darkness, soundless distance
Till it finds its mark in some strange border system.

The Corsair

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 863
  • I'm the latest model Johnny
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2011, 12:43:20 AM »
Oooooh very interesting themes here...
I like the slightly cryptic nature of it in how it addresses a few different topics, each in a few different ways.
Excellent!
Defective Elector

digger72

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2201
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2011, 07:36:55 PM »
Hi,

Like the overall feel - a bit Beck like. Would have liked the guitar a little bit more forward in the mix. Wasn't too keen on the slow down at the end (from about 2.40). Love the lyrics. But, really liked it.

Digger