The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: dinnerwithgreedo on July 04, 2022, 05:44:51 PM
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This has taken me ages.... still not sure it's finished... but here it is. ENJOY!!
Lyrics
I've got a sentimental picture
that i keep upon the mantel.
It's not my favourite picture of you
but it's all that i can handle.
And she said, leave it out
you don't know what you're talking about
leave it out
you don't know what you're talking about
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
I've got the feeling that we've been here
and i've heard this nonsense all before.
I only say these things to hurt you.
Sentimental picture to the floor.
And she said, leave it out
you don't know what you're talking about
leave it out
you don't know what you're talking about
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
Do you know what you're cryin' for?
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Hola @dinnerwithgreedo (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6829)
I enjoyed your track!!! I think it's a good song ant sounds great!
Stay well
Mora
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Enjoyed this very much. Nice one.
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@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) @Sterix (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22024)
Oh my God... guys.... the solo was in the wrong place!!!
Now corrected. If you get the chance, give it another listen. Thanks.
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Great intro..love the bass. I'm a sucker for crunchy guitars too so we're on a winner here! The lead vocal could maybe do with just a bit more grit though, overall I really like the vocal arrangement. This is my kind of music so, yeah, I really enjoyed this. :)
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Hey! Like this. It's heavier than a lot of your stuff, no? A touch of Soundgarden about it even. Really like the slightly odd intro, with those octave notes on the guitar and that 'clicky noise' behind them, and then the chunky, fuzzy riff when it comes in is a joy. Vocals sounded good to me... maybe just the falsetto lines ("leave it out...") could be polished a bit, but they still worked for me. Lyrically it's quite intriguing... starts out sounding like it is going to be a love song, but then goes somewhere quite different. Nice!
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@ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723) In short, i can't sing this how i hear it. It does need more grit... but i can't do it :'(
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) Yeah.. i love that intro too. Just random shit that sounded good. The 'leave it out' bit is the bane of my life. I've tried to sing it so many different ways and it either sounds weak (like here) or screechy. I gave up.
Thank you both for your comments. Glad you liked it.
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This is fab! Great sound @dinnerwithgreedo (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6829) - that guitar riff is brilliant!
Only thing I'd add is some more harms / BVs in the chorus... Tight 3rds / 5ths..
Of course, just a matter of taste!
Loved this!
K
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Thinking I was too critical of the vocal. Nothing wrong with it at all. Sometimes it takes another listen. Having done that I think this is perfectly formed. I love this this track..it's great. :)
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Always enjoy your songs @dinnerwithgreedo (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6829) love that scratch guitar in the intro. Then it really kicks in with that dirty sounding guitar. This is a fabulous piece of upbeat indie rock. Great vocals and driving bass too and damn tight. Can't find anything to crit - Absolutely loved it :)
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great tune, when it started I was getting a bit of Blur Song 2 with the melody but can't complain I love that song too. great job here nothing I can think of to improve it anyway.
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Beautiful arrangement, catchy melody.
I like the sound of guitars and cool solo with original harmonies.
Maya
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Menacing intro, the initial picking reminiscent of a Scooby Doo drama. I know that sounds like a contradiction but there is reason behind the comment. It sets the scene for something mysterious. The vocal melody is strong and the guitars are on song. Elements of Blur are here too.Memorable tune sir!
Wicked
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Nice,I like this, Your vocals sounds like you were born to sing rock songs. The music production (Love the guitar) over all its very good, sound a little dated but don't have anything bad to say other wise. This song I will play on repeat.
Irwin
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Great riff,great vocals...a swaggering riff with sweet poppy vocals always gets me..people mention Blur,but it`s late 70s New wave o me,a bit Nick lowe in the vocal on the chorus,but Iggy/Blondie elsewhere
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Holy sh!t, guys. Thank you for all the praise for this song. It took me FOREVER to get the sound i wanted so i'm really chuffed it has gone over well.
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Yo DWG.
Dig those guitars man. The track is as catchy as fook,punchy and accessible.
Reminded me a little of Split Enz and Nobody Takes Me Seriously,which I think is one of the best pop/rock songs ever.
Much enjoyed and ta for sharing. 8)
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Nice work, right up my street - touches of Foo Fighters which is never a bad thing. Really like the changes in rhythm.
Perhaps some timing issues in places if it really wanted to be perfect but I think that's not the point.
I think the struggle was worth it.
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Hi
not really my Genre , Its Quirky & keeps your attention
sounds Brit Pop to me & executed very well
great stuff
subvibe
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That's a fab song mate! great vox sound and well sung I reckon, like the falsetto bits and super arrangement, radio ready for sure, slightly let down by the guitar solo which in my humble opinion didn't sound as professional as the rest of the song, but maybe you meant that,