[Paulski]

Get ready to groan

Christmas Failed the Litmus
Copyright (c) 2015 Tennyson Road Music

Me and the little missus
Drove to Texas over x-mas
But you'd think with all that effort
Her parents would respect us

But her Mom said I was shiftless
And her Dad said I was witless
It's an awful thing to witness
When Christmas fails the litmus

Christmas failed the litmus
Christmas failed the litmus
An awful thing to witness
Christmas fail the litmus

Now I'm not one for complaining
But that holiday was draining
The gifts I got were lame, and
When not snowing, it was raining

And somewhere over Dallas
Santa's reindeer lost their balance
And my scripted Christmas wishlist
Was misplaced by elfin misfits

Christmas failed the litmus
Christmas failed the litmus
They lost the Christmas wishlist
(I had scribbled on some litmus)

Now you'd think I was ungrateful
For all those grinning 'round the table
But they looked mentally unstable
(so I barely got a plateful)

An awful thing to witness
Christmas fail the litmus

So I guess we'll drive back home and
We'll spend Easter on the sofa
Yeah that bunny - he's the swellest
(And he makes it past the smell test  )

Because...
Christmas failed the litmus
Christmas failed the litmus
It was an awful thing to witness
Yeah when ..
Christmas failed the litmus !

[Arkwright]

You've obviously met my in laws Paul, only spent one Christmas with them in 30 years and your lyrics brought back many unhappy memories 

Wondeful storytelling as always and some great near rhymes, particularly liked

'And my scripted Christmas wishlist
Was misplaced by elfin misfits'

No nits from me on this one, which I seem to say an awful lot with your work 

[mickeytwonames]

Love 'Failed the litmus'  - but I'd like to hear Test referenced there once in the Chorus (apart from smell test) - There are some folks that wont get what the Litmus is otherwise -- Just sayin' M

[hardtwistmusic]

Heh heh heh heh.... 

The reasons that Christmas often brings disappointment to adults are two fold. 

1.  The dreary, short, dark days of winter take an emotional toll on many of us. 
2.  The expectations (left over from childhood) of incredible anticipation - (and the realization of many of those expectations) creates a mindset where disappointment is almost guaranteed in many of us. 

Your song captured both of those reasons with (almost alarming) insight. 

[Vintage54]

  Hey!
    Shit man, i'm still smiling. Who else could write this but you. Shit man i'm still smiling, shit man i'm still LAUGHING, Shit man i'm still..........to fade

                                Shit man!
                                    Vintage54

[tomcrocus]

Lovely stuff Paul,
                        quirky,witty and clever,
                                                         top drawer,Tom.

[pompeyjazz]

Great stuff Paul. This really made be laugh. You have got it down to a T

Cheers

John