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Songwriter Forum => The Bar => Topic started by: ScottLevi on January 20, 2017, 04:48:12 PM

Title: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: ScottLevi on January 20, 2017, 04:48:12 PM
2 Lines Each
"Secluded and Reserved"

Don't know if there's any motive for this on the forum, but I always find this stuff quite cool so why not?

Rules
2 Lines Each (per week)
Be as creative as you can!
Don't worry about what you put, it's just a bit of fun!

The End Result?
I'm thinking we could put the end result up in the Collaboration League (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=11878.0) so anyone can make use if they'd like a crack at making a song from it (and license to tweak)

Complete Song
(I've started us off with a 2-line introduction)

Intro
She was secluded and reserved,
Such a curious creature...
ScottLevi
Verse 1
She was lonely undeserved
You just wanted to meet her
pompeyjazz
Sitting at the bar alone
Fiddling with her mobile phone
CaliaMoko
Chorus
Mobile communications feed my integrations
Upon the hub of lost perennial shores
boolio
A Mona Lisa smile that was my interpretation
or maybe she's a rebel but has she got a cause.
tomcrocus
Verse 2
She broke into a smile
As she made her connection
GuyBarry
Sitting at the bar with style
She had grabbed his attention
diademgrove
Bridge
My feeling grew
So I changed my direction
Boydie
Mumbled of last suppers
and hoped for a resurrection
delb0y
Verse 3
She threw glances like seductive spores.
Adulteration, excitation then bedroom doors.
johnlondon
Strictly my preserve
Secluded and reserved for me
Neil C
Outro
-
-
User
-
-
User


So, anyone up for it?
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 20, 2017, 05:02:19 PM
She was lonely undeserved
You just wanted to meet her
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: CaliaMoko on January 20, 2017, 05:07:04 PM
Sitting at the bar alone
Fiddling with her mobile phone
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: Skub on January 20, 2017, 06:04:33 PM
Aloof and reserved may be preferable.

Secluded makes her sound like a garden. :D
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: ScottLevi on January 20, 2017, 06:17:07 PM
Aloof and reserved may be preferable.

Secluded makes her sound like a garden. :D

Looks like you've pulled out an opportunity for some double-entendre!

Maybe back it up with some more garden themes? :D

Was really tempted to just add your post as the first two lines of the chorus, but sense prevailed I think?
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: boolio on January 20, 2017, 06:42:51 PM
first two lines of chorus...

Mobile communications feed my integrations
Upon  the hub of lost perennial shores

 ::)
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: Skub on January 20, 2017, 06:43:59 PM
 :D
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 20, 2017, 06:49:56 PM
And beyond the leafy borders
She went without a pause
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 20, 2017, 06:51:46 PM
Ah sugar - I've broken the rules (NOT LYRICS)

Sorry  ;D
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: ScottLevi on January 20, 2017, 06:56:28 PM
And beyond the leafy borders
She went without a pause

Ah sugar - I've broken the rules (NOT LYRICS)

Sorry  ;D

Awwww is a good'n as well, but where's my integrity if I throw the rule book away so soon?  Am hoping to get a new person for each set of lines but added the 1-week clause in in case not enough people engage.

Shaping up nicely to be fair, very interesting...
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: tomcrocus on January 20, 2017, 09:19:58 PM
CHORUS,

A Mona Lisa smile that was my interpretation
or maybe she's a rebel but has she got a cause.
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: ScottLevi on January 21, 2017, 05:21:35 PM
No one else? xD
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: GuyBarry on January 21, 2017, 06:04:17 PM
[I'll have a go, but is this the only song in the history of songwriting with words in the intro?  I don't know if I'm supposed to be matching the two intro lines or the first two lines of verse 1.]

She broke into a smile
As she made her connection
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: ScottLevi on January 23, 2017, 09:07:44 AM
[I'll have a go, but is this the only song in the history of songwriting with words in the intro?  I don't know if I'm supposed to be matching the two intro lines or the first two lines of verse 1.]

Hey Guy,

Just trying to set the scene whilst leaving the main content for the game, though I'm sure with my history it's no surprise I haven't followed conventions.

You're right on jumping in where it gets a bit more difficult. In reality it's just a bit of fun but if trying to keep true; the scene has been set and the verses now need to keep the previous in mind.

Hope this carries on, I think all the entries so far have been quite interesting.

Cheers,
Scott.
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: diademgrove on January 23, 2017, 10:08:51 AM
Sitting at the bar with style
She had grabbed his attention
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: Boydie on January 23, 2017, 10:09:56 AM
my feelings grew
and so did my erec

So I changed my direction
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: ScottLevi on January 26, 2017, 06:30:59 PM

and so did my erec


Aha naughty naughty  ;D will have to make a more comedy setup next time.

Only 2 days left before the threads been up a week and those first-day posters can have another crack - so get in now if you'd like your name in conjunction with all these superstars who have already got involved! :P

All the best,
Scott
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: delb0y on January 26, 2017, 09:38:25 PM
mumbled of last suppers
and hoped for a resurrection
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: johnlondon on January 26, 2017, 10:38:37 PM
She threw glances like seductive spores.
Adulteration, excitation then bedroom doors.
Title: Re: {Game} 2 Lines Each - "Secluded and Reserved"
Post by: Neil C on January 28, 2017, 05:29:29 PM

strictly my preserve
Secluded and reserved for me

 :)
neil