Hi,
So I'm new to song writing, been a musician for a long time but not really attempted to write anything before.
I decided to work towards putting out an album (probably to be called "Yin Machine/Yang Machine").
I'm looking for feedback on the first song I've done, available on soundcloud here:
https://soundcloud.com/adambradleyguitar/sets/yin-machine-yang-machine-demoEdit: Forgot to say what the songs about - it has been helpful for me to select a 'theme' to write songs about so that I don't get stuck thinking of what to write about, so I'm writing about the relationship between humans and machines. The first song, "Yin Machine", is about how we create technology and use it in a way we think will help us but that ends up harming us (I was thinking about predator drones).
Thanks,
-Adam
Lyrics for Yin Machine:
The Yin MachineIn time you will see,
For all your seeds will fall on a parallel landscape of ghosts and broken images,
An urban place overlain with the delusions and hallucinations of sensing machines,
Here, data flows as calm as a woodland stream,
from mainframe spring to the ocean of the mind,
But you will not be here.
For now, sit with me, my children,
and be still. (in time you will see)
SingingVerseAll flesh is just like grass,
Animals with machines,
Parallel ghosts are seen
In broken shards
Make your skin feel ready,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,
ChorusTake me away from here,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,
Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!
VerseAll flesh is just like grass,
Animals with machines,
Hung up on default sets,
Amplified weight
Attrition plays well now,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,
ChorusTake me away from here,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,
Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!
Blue screen of death junky,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,
Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!
Break/Bass soloGo!
Go!
Going!
Going!
The Yin MachineNatural de-selection is what's really going on,
An operating manual still missing some pages,
Electro-mechanical wish held and then gone,
Whilst we wait paralysed for the restore of the status quo
SingingTake me away from here,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,
Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!
Blue screen of death junky,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,
Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!