The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: Brunosrevenge on February 05, 2023, 10:16:23 PM
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Hi All, would appreciate your thoughts on this tune-
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AuujbJ2zA-LSgeN3JoEN4e23dk6tYA?e=gMeKw8 (https://1drv.ms/u/s!AuujbJ2zA-LSgeN3JoEN4e23dk6tYA?e=gMeKw8)
Specifically around mixing/arangement-
1. Bass on the main riff is following guitar- would a walking pattern, or it's own line (problaby needing to drop D) make it more interesting/less relentless?
2. Are the drums too low in the mix?
3. Not sure about the backing vocals- are they needed?
Cheers all, here are the lyrics-
If you've kept your head down till now
It's time to stand high up and proud
Go go you big red fire engine go go
Strange how the rest of the world seems
So darn slow
Come take your place in a new state of Grace
Those lost without place now will
Soon be back
Lost lonely but loud
Pug ugly but proud
Down but unbowed
Welcome back
When glass ceilings bear down on you
Scratch like a diamond cut through
Melt through your chains see the newspapers burn burn
Rise to the skies see the haters all turn turn turn!
Come take your place in a new state of Grace
Those lost without place now will
Soon be back
Lost lonely but loud
Pug ugly but proud
Down but unbowed
Welcome back
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Hi @Brunosrevenge (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22623) . The link looks a bit dodgy and won`t play unless you download it so to get more replies it may be worth sending another type of link (or via Soundcloud).
The lyrics are interesting though.
With love & a hey nonny nonny,
Lars. :)
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535)
Good point, thanks! It is just a oneDrive link, but here is a mixcloud one instead
https://www.mixcloud.com/BrunosRevenge/new-state-of-grace/ (https://www.mixcloud.com/BrunosRevenge/new-state-of-grace/)
Would be great to hear the group's thoughts.
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Cool track man!
I think you've got some pretty good sound there to work with. And a good rocking song! I think a few edits on the guitars could make a positive difference. Just to tighten things up a little. Maybe a touch of pitch correction on the vocals too.
the bass, drums and guitars all sound solid on their own. But I do feel like the overall blend could sound better. I don't think the drums are too loud, but some parts pop out a bit too much. Especially the vocals in the chorus. That might be leading you to think the drums are too low.
A bit of compression could help.
Food for thought. Hope that helps.
Keep up the good work.
Isaac.
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@isaac663 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22984)
Thanks, that's really appreciated, some really useful feedback.
See what you mean now about chorus vox vrs guitars balance
Guitar wise, are there particular bits that could do with editing, or is it more about tightening them up?
Cheers in advance
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No Problem,
Yeah, nothing major... just a little tightening up!
Isaac.
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This is a fine song @Brunosrevenge (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22623) ..I love the rhythm and the backing sounds great. I think that when the vocals kick in though they are very separated from the backing so its giving a karaoke effect. There are a lot of clever sods on this forum like @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) & @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) who have helped me a lot in the past cos I`ve had the same problem. Hopefully one of the "producers" on the forum can help? Sorry to pick the nits but its a very good piece of songwriting (imho) & its almost finished I reckon. Well done man.
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Thanks Lars! Much appreciated! Yes, the black arts of production are still large beer mystery to me....