Hi all,
First time at posting a track here. Eek!
Im looking for advice on lyrics and 2nd verse melody with a work in progress track Not Made of Glass, although I appreciate that the lyrics are pretty simple. But any/all pointers thankfully received.
NB. Nothing is mastered - Im just learning what this is - except for my first ever attempts at compressing anything since the sound cloud upload (holy moly).
Please excuse the volume/levels, and vocals so far as the entire track needs to be 'performed'. Ive just laid down the basics quietly (as the kids were asleep next door, and as I had a cold) but you'' get the jist.
I've got a long way to go, but have learned so much since since I found this forum the day before yesterday that its untrue.
- do i get away with the chorus line "It'll come to a time when it comes to pass"? Not sure whether i need to change one of the come/s to something else...
- will the same melody still work for the second verse as for the first.
- V2 still needs some work I think. Does anything obvious stand out for you as needing a change?
Cheers all,
Cx
https://soundcloud.com/cazrolina-1/not-made-of-glass-work-in---------------------------------------------------
Not Made of Glass/So Much More/So Much Love
V1
Wandering around your room for a time
You think you’re not but you look just fine
Feel the wind brush against your cheek
The first time you’ve felt in weeks
CH
It’ll come to a time when it comes to pass
Your heavy heart might be shattered but it’s not made of glass
Pick yourself up little girl, get ‘off’ve the floor
We’re waiting for you, there’s so much more
V2
Clear your mind, lift up your head
Change the sheets and make your bed / change the sheets, get out of bed
When you reach out and (you) find your way
Then every macdaddys gonna know your name / Then everybody's gonna want to know your name
Don’t beat yourself up. Gonna make you stand
CH.
It’ll come to a time when it comes to pass
Your heavy heart might be shattered but it’s not made of glass
Pick yourself up little girl, get ‘off’ve the floor
We’re waiting for you there’s so much more
Here’s to us and the things we’ll do
Come around we’re waiting for you
Yeah, It’ll come to a time when it comes to pass
Your heavy heart might be shattered but it’s not made of glass
Why don’t you pick yourself up little girl, get ‘off’ve the floor
We’re waiting for you, there’s so much love/more
(Here’s to us and the things we’ll do
Come around honey, we’re waiting for you
Theres so much love
Why don't you look around the corner, theres so much love)
---
I wrote this when a close family member - young, single, based abroad - fell extremely ill and was given a slim chance of surviving the night. Our family members hadn’t left her side in days and it really was very touch and go. She told me later how amazing the fresh air felt on her face when she finally stepped outside of the hospital room. I started to write this whilst she was very ill, wishing her to get better, then added to it. Then considering others that might be down, ill or have a loved one needing some love and tlc to help get well.