[ruddiness]

I'm a 20 yo songwriter from Poland. I would love to share my songs with you to get some reviews.
I wrote this one 2 days ago. This is the most personal song I have ever written. "What the mirror said" is about my fight with eating disorders. Tell me what you think about this. Also, as I told you, I'm from Poland so English is not my first language. If you find any grammar or linguistic mistake, please let me know about that.
Here you can listen to acapella version of my song: https://soundcloud.com/user-111347776/what-the-mirror-said

What the mirror said

Dreaming about,
All of those things that I've never done.
I was too scared to look behind my back.
Thinking abut,
All these times I've lied straight into your eyes.
I was flying like a moth to the light,
To achieve a goal,
that was unattainable.

You know that, oh you know that,
it was never me.
I was locked in the darkness.
Every light I saw was just a trap.
Nobody could hear me out.
I was screaming so loudly but,
for you it was just a deaf sound.
You only believed what the mirror said.

Feeling so close,
to find the way to release me.
I was too tired to fight again.
Loosing my faith,
That someone finally gonna find me here.
I was giving up.
I thought that I'll never be free.

I know that, oh I know that,
It was never real me.
I was locked in the darkness.
Every light I saw was just a trap.
Nobody could hear me out.
I was screaming so loudly but,
for you it was just a deaf sound.
You only believed what the mirror said.

All of those demons are coming out, to find me again.
How can I trust you, when you can be one of them?
This time I'm week to survive this pain.
The sun is setting again and...
the darkness appears.

We both know that, oh we know that,
It was always me.
I was locked in the darkness.
Every light I saw was just a trap.
Nobody could hear me out.
I was screaming so loudly but,
for you it was just a deaf sound.
I only believed what the mirror said.

[Wolfini]

Hello and welcome!

This is serious stuff for a first entry. I think the lyrics are well written and very expressive. They way you have recorded this makes it sound like a medieval ballad or litany. Poetry that is sung.

It felt as if every line had a different melody, so I did not recognize a song structure with repeating elements- which makes it a little hard to comment on the music.

From a production point of view the vocal recording sounds good, but there is a lot of noise between the verses. Perhaps you can try to get rid of that.

Bye Wolfi

[Silver Machine]

Lady you sing real well, though I dont understand why you gave us an acapella version?
I doubt if it serves the song  as well as a instrumented version would?  (Unless that's all you have at the moment.)
I read the lyrics on their own and I can follow the body dysmorphism real clearly there.  Mirrors are such wicked fairies.
Getting some music on this has gotta be worthwhile and would take it new dark places.

[ruddiness]

Thank you for the reviews. I gave you only acapella version because that's all I have right now. Unfortunately I'm just a begginer guitarist so I couldn't record instrumented version, but I'll work on this song with my band, so I hope they will be able to put some music in it

[Neil C]

Hi and welcome

Good lyrics adn you've a distinctive voice. Brave subject and to do it acapella.
Your english is fine, your pronunciation of some words has a distinct accent not that that really matters. 
I'd be interested to hear how it sounds accompanied or in a band context.
Anyway well done.

Do have a read of the rule, if you want people to review your sings then you need to review theres
 
neil