[BeadyRoller]

Hello all, thanks very much for all your feedback on my last song, very much appreciated!

Here's a new one I finished writing today:

Take me far away from here
The path has never been so clear
I don't wanna sit and dream no more

Watching all the years fly by
While I'm stuck here wasting my time
Trying to figure out what I'm here for

**Might mistakes along the way
And have some really blurry days
Where I don't wanna listen any more

But somewhere far far down the line
The pain and marks will heal just fine
When I find where I am supposed to be
Where I'm supposed to be

It's for myself to clear the way
Get through the rough and lonesome days
Take each moment as it comes along

Ignore the bad and chase the good
Make sure I did the best I could
Knowing that I can do no wrong

Link: https://soundcloud.com/roloasis/where-im-supposed-to-be-demo-3

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Any feedback is much appreciated, hope you enjoy it.

Thanks!

[seriousfun]

Really liked the melody lines in this, and you sing it very well. Lyrically, I found the last line at odds with the song as it leaves the listener with the wrong message. I would reconsider that one. Through all of the song its a feeling of a drifter and dreamer looking toward the future and the hope of one day finding his place and making good in his life. The penultamate line is good except I believe the tense to be incorrect as its looking to the future not the past. The last line itself however, comes across as too self righteous and I don't see the singer as this sort of character. I think I would look at a line signifying the hope, the dreams, the potential and the aspirations that are yet to be achieved.

Ignore the bad and chase the good,
To do my best, I know, I could
live the dreams for which I long.

Mixwise, I would tame the guitar sound to help let the vocal come thru. There are a lot of high frequencies going on in here and it is taking away from the vox. I also think this song would lend itself to a nice build by bringing in some bass and then some drums progressively as the song develops.

I hope you don't take these comments as critisisms as they are not meant in that way. I think the writing of the lyric and melody is very good and the instrumentation only needs a few tweaks to really get this going. So much potential with this one.

Kudos to you
Allan.

[MartiMedia]

First that comes in mind to me is an Oasis-type of style (and I like Oasis!). Very nice
lyrics, I like the message and it is delivered in my opinion. Catchy melody, but imo it
would even be catchier if some more variation is applied. I can hear a great song with
hit-potential in this one. Maybe it's an idea to add a bridge that expresses some sort
of 'conclusion' in the lyrics.
When studio recorderd, maybe it's an idea to produce this song in an
alternative rock style? Great work, enjoyed it! MM

[TheButcher]

You have a great voice and a great taste for good vocal melodies.

very Oasis kinda style.

try to improve the mix. guitar is much too loud; voice too quiet.

it sounds beautiful (as i said) - but it sounds like sth that s been done before (i know; everything has been done before - but it s all the components - your voice sounds like Liam and the songwriting like Noel)
You re a young guy (i assume) - it s great to chase after your heroes - but don t forget to find your style at one point - we don t need another oasis

all the best

B

[BeadyRoller]

Really liked the melody lines in this, and you sing it very well. Lyrically, I found the last line at odds with the song as it leaves the listener with the wrong message. I would reconsider that one. Through all of the song its a feeling of a drifter and dreamer looking toward the future and the hope of one day finding his place and making good in his life. The penultamate line is good except I believe the tense to be incorrect as its looking to the future not the past. The last line itself however, comes across as too self righteous and I don't see the singer as this sort of character. I think I would look at a line signifying the hope, the dreams, the potential and the aspirations that are yet to be achieved.

Ignore the bad and chase the good,
To do my best, I know, I could
live the dreams for which I long.

Mixwise, I would tame the guitar sound to help let the vocal come thru. There are a lot of high frequencies going on in here and it is taking away from the vox. I also think this song would lend itself to a nice build by bringing in some bass and then some drums progressively as the song develops.

I hope you don't take these comments as critisisms as they are not meant in that way. I think the writing of the lyric and melody is very good and the instrumentation only needs a few tweaks to really get this going. So much potential with this one.

Kudos to you
Allan.

Thanks very much for taking the time to listen! I was unsure of that lyric myself but I think you have misunderstood what it is meant to mean.

The 'knowing that, I can do wrong' isn't meant to mean that I can do no wrong in general but referencing to the above line, because I know I did the best I could, I can do no wrong as I gave it my best shot. Does that make a little more sense to you? Still could be improved definitely as I was unsure myself but I hope that sheds a little light in to the thinking of it!

I completely agree that the guitar is overpowering the vocal, I will look to correct that in future recordings most definitely.

Thanks very much for the feedback.

First that comes in mind to me is an Oasis-type of style (and I like Oasis!). Very nice
lyrics, I like the message and it is delivered in my opinion. Catchy melody, but imo it
would even be catchier if some more variation is applied. I can hear a great song with
hit-potential in this one. Maybe it's an idea to add a bridge that expresses some sort
of 'conclusion' in the lyrics.
When studio recorderd, maybe it's an idea to produce this song in an
alternative rock style? Great work, enjoyed it! MM

Thanks for the reply, I was thinking of maybe adding a bridge but I thought the song was catchy enough to not need one in the end, it's definitely something to think about though! I'm unsure at the moment to where I want to take the song so any suggestions arr welcome, cheers!

You have a great voice and a great taste for good vocal melodies.

very Oasis kinda style.

try to improve the mix. guitar is much too loud; voice too quiet.

it sounds beautiful (as i said) - but it sounds like sth that s been done before (i know; everything has been done before - but it s all the components - your voice sounds like Liam and the songwriting like Noel)
You re a young guy (i assume) - it s great to chase after your heroes - but don t forget to find your style at one point - we don t need another oasis

all the best

B

Hi Butcher, thanks for the feedback! I agree that it is nothing new but it's what I know best and it feels 'right' to have this sound as it's most natural to me, I don't think I'm ever going to have a song that doesn't have elements of Oasis as they are such a big influence of mine but I do try to put my own spin on everything.

Keep the feedback coming, thanks!

[Jamie]

Hi, you've got a good rock and roll voice, very much in the oasis style.liked the song and the melody, but again it's leaning on oasis, but if you're going to develop as a songwriter you'll develop your own style. The song is pretty good in as much as it is, but IMHO a bridge would really develop and lift the song. If you can get an arrangement with the rock instrumentation and arrangement that would also help.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[Jathon Delsy]

Not particularly well recorded, but there's a great song here and also a great voice too. Real classic songwriting, doing all the right things in the right places, with a voice and confident appealing singing style that perfectly suits.
Give this piece some well deserved production and it'll sound great. Lots of commercial appeal too,,,,,

[Skub]

I love your voice and the song is a goer. It would be great to get it properly recorded and make the best of what you have. I can imagine the punch bass and drums and extra vocals would add.

Great,keep them coming!

[beckylucythomas]

My comments will prob just repeat previous comments...but anyway....

Yes the oasis similarities (melody, chord choices, voice and singing style etc) are fairly obvious. A little too similar for me, but I'm sure it won't trouble lots of listeners.

The songwriting is strong and fairly catchy, and with a better recording and arrangement it could sound great. Definitely needs a bit of balancing out with some bass.

I like it 

[BeadyRoller]

Thank you all very much for your comments on this one, I definitely hear what you're saying about my Oasis influence, it is hard to strip it back at times but I'm working on it!

Definitely needs a better recording, was just a rushed demo that I recorded on my iPad, will re do it someday!

I've got another song going up now that I've just finished. Cheers!

[empyreantic]

Whoa, this sounds good! Great lyrics, great voice. I think the track would benefit from a slightly 'darker' guitar with less harsh strumming, to be honest - the song brings a certain 'busker' feel, and reminds me a bit of Wonderwall etc. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it gives it a sound that is perhaps a bit unoriginal?

[StokeyGary]

I really love your voice - it makes me tune out the lyrics to some degree because I'm so interested in listening to it as instrument in its own right.

In the studio, it would be great to hear the voice being brought forward a lot (the jangly guitar gets a bit too much in this - of course I realise it's only a demo).

I would be curious to hear how the song works with a fixed chorus that I can get into over and over (not that I'm usually a fan or formulaic writing and fixed structure), but I feel it would really work with this reflective type of song .... and especially with your vocals.

I enjoyed it!