konalavadome

The Spirit Never Dies

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AlyT

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« on: September 30, 2013, 06:18:49 PM »
Religion is becoming out of fashion, but things become more valuable when they begin to ration, inspiring words are required to induce practical action, Gods indivisible and therefore will never fraction. The most happy people believe that heaven is a reality and the world is an illusion, as a Kid your brain has been trained and therefore this concept will cause confusion, God doesn't provide a problem without a solution. I wake up every morning and think about death, because the man ready to die will always try his best, when I leave I can't take my riches so I'll have to spiritually buy God's respect, I have  thousands of blessings but they are all in debt. Life is a test, no matter how many bullets are fired at my chest, my faith will always act like a bulletproof vest.

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2013, 06:27:26 PM »
Religion is becoming out of fashion, but things become more valuable when they begin to ration, inspiring words are required to induce practical action, Gods indivisible and therefore will never fraction. The most happy people believe that heaven is a reality and the world is an illusion, as a Kid your brain has been trained and therefore this concept will cause confusion, God doesn't provide a problem without a solution. I wake up every morning and think about death, because the man ready to die will always try his best, when I leave I can't take my riches so I'll have to spiritually buy God's respect, I have  thousands of blessings but they are all in debt. Life is a test, no matter how many bullets are fired at my chest, my faith will always act like a bulletproof vest.

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Here is your poem/lyric formatted in a form that is easy for us to follow and evaluate. 

Religion is becoming out of fashion.
but things become more valuable when they begin to ration.
Inspiring words are required to induce practical action,
Gods indivisible and therefore will never fraction.

The most happy people believe that heaven is a reality and the world is an illusion,
as a Kid your brain has been trained and therefore this concept will cause confusion,
God doesn't provide a problem without a solution.

I wake up every morning and think about death,
because the man ready to die will always try his best.  
When I leave I can't take my riches
so I'll have to spiritually buy God's respect.

I have  thousands of blessings but they are all in debt.
Life is a test, no matter how many bullets are fired at my chest,
my faith will always act like a bulletproof vest.

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Formatting makes it easier for us to read and appreciate what you have created.  

Punctuation matters.  

As you posted it, I doubt that anyone would have taken the time to wade through and see if it was a good lyric.  


I'm not lecturing, just trying to help.  
« Last Edit: September 30, 2013, 06:29:33 PM by hardtwistmusic »
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Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

PeeJay

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« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2013, 08:24:54 PM »
Hi,

This is one of those that will divide people's opinions according to their beliefs or lack thereof.

I thought the line 'I wake up every morning and think about death' didn't fit into something that is supposed to be inspiring. A person acting that way would be classified as being depressed.

You got some good lines though IMO.

Phil.
I don't know what i'm doing but i do it anyway.