Songwriter Forum > Feedback on Finished songs

I look see horizon

<< < (3/3)

rightly:

--- Quote from: bigFishAndTheSmallPondets on October 11, 2021, 08:15:07 AM ---
--- Quote from: rightly on October 06, 2021, 01:13:38 PM ---
My latest production
Another one where I was quite doubtful it'd work out
I think it did in the end

Feedback would be thrilling


link:

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly/i-look-see-horizon

Lyrics:



i look see horizon

in the year of death
did I not live alone?
there I found your sweetness
now I just want you to know
I look see horizon
as near as it can be
I just close my eyes and
it’s like you’re here with me
_____
I look see horizon
_____
when this war is over
before the next begins
if I get to hold you
it matters less who wins
_____
I look see horizon
_____
well, that would be my luck
to give a fuck then t' fall
for one who leaves me wanting
when I would have it all
‘goes around, comes around
y’know that’s what they say
furthermore if not now
I'll get mine someday
_____
I look see horizon
_____
when this war is over
before the next begins
if i get to hold you
it matters not who wins
_____
I look see horizon
I look see horizon
_____
will I get to know you?
when this war is over
______________

Rightly

--- End quote ---

@rightly your music is so fresh and original. It's so uniquely you and I can't commend you highly enough for finding your voice with such flair.

The music reminds me slightly of the circus. Do hope this observation is not too flippant! It sounds to me sparkling, colourful, wonderous. I feel the mood turn more serious and profound, however, as we go to the chorus. It's such a great piece of poetry in my opinion:

when this war is over
before the next begins
if i get to hold you
it matters not who wins

Beautiful. I do hope you got to hold the person in question.

--- End quote ---

I like the theatrics of the circus

The romance died before physically realised. Probably better that way.

I'm glad you like the song 

pompeyjazz:
Gee @rightly This took me on a psychedelic trip. Great use of your toolbox of instruments. I love the dischordant piano and the gliss harp sound. The whole song whirled around my head in a very trippy way and this needs a few listens to appreciate everything that is going on. Another incredibly inventive track. I can't think of anybody else doing anything remotely like this. Bravo

rightly:

--- Quote from: pompeyjazz on October 17, 2021, 07:34:12 PM ---Gee @rightly This took me on a psychedelic trip. Great use of your toolbox of instruments. I love the dischordant piano and the gliss harp sound. The whole song whirled around my head in a very trippy way and this needs a few listens to appreciate everything that is going on. Another incredibly inventive track. I can't think of anybody else doing anything remotely like this. Bravo

--- End quote ---

@pompeyjazz

Thanks Pompey!

I really have zero intention of being original, or that word often used describing my output... "unique", but I like what I'm doing
I'd fail in a dull way were I to try to imitate, probably.

It's a fairly hopeful song.

Glad you like it.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page