The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: tomcrocus on November 21, 2017, 12:44:30 AM
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Hi,i've been away for a while,just doing a bit of this and that and that and this,
noodling on the guitar but i'm still crap,i've still been writing because i love it and
i want to try and get back into the forum,anyway,this is a little something i wrote.
IF I ATE FIFTY RATS
If i ate fifty rats,baked them in a pie
if i ate fifty rabid rats
would i die yeah would i die
i'm gonna eat fifty rats,bake them in a pie
i'm gonna eat fifty rabid rats
cos i couldn't care yeah if i die
fifty frickin rabid rats, kill your cats,kill your cats
fifty frickin rabid rats,kill your cats yeah kill your cats
i'm gonna eat a cobra i'm gonna eat a snake
stick me in a basket man i don't need a break
i'm gonna eat a werewolf i'm gonna eat my head
i'm gonna eat a zombie i'm gonna eat the living dead
kill your cats yeah kill your cats
fifty frickin rabid rats
i'm gonna eat a liar cos he told me a lie
i'm gonna eat a spider to try and catch a fly
i might just eat your grandma after i've ate my head
i've ate the farmers' daughter and you call her daddy fred
fifty frickin rabid rats,kill your cats,kill your cats
fifty frickin rabid rats,kill your cats yeah kill your cats
if i ate fifty rats,baked them in a pie
if i ate fifty rabid rats
would i die yeah would i die
i'm gonna eat fifty rats,bake them in a pie
i'm gonna eat fifty rabid rats
cos i couldn't care yeah if i die.
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Now, this is the kind of writing I like!
Eating tats is not that bad, especially if they are baked in a pie :). Remember the rat burger Stalonne ate in a film, it was good :)
Anyway - great song and superfluid structure. I imagine this song fits practically any style and will be glad to hear the end result!
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This makes me want to ask what you had for dessert.
N makes me wonder if there are any subliminal political messages in there. Lol.
This was a refreshing read. Thanks for sharing.
Rightly.
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Welcome back Tom!
We've missed your rhythmic tomes.
That's some BIG pie unless they're pretty small rats!
As usual your lyrics sing themselves.
Good work!
Paul
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Thanks Ztuoo,thanks Rightly and thanks Paulski,
i was very drunk when i wrote this and very drunk when i posted it,
i couldn't remember in the morning,it's okay i'm no alcho,i just like a wee
gargle from time to time.
Cheers fellas for the feedback,
Tom.
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Hey!
Even if you hadn't put a name to this, i would still recognize the madness. Welcome back my friend, been away too long. Crazy as ever, but it produced a smile, and anything that does that, i welcome.
Vintage54
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Well that sure is different!
Is there a metaphor going on here, or have you actually eaten your own head now?
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Thanks Vintage,it's great to hear from you again,
i hope you're good and well and thanks Philharmonic
for that feedback,it made me smile,cheers,
Tom.
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Sorry I missed this one, Tom
Yeah...trademark Tom Crocus!
Made my stomach go round like a spin dryer.
Brilliant to hear from you again...keep the pen and paper handy :)
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Thanks Paul,great to hear from you and keep up the good work,
i'm just weaning my way back onto the forum,i've still checked
it out and it's cool,even one or two spits and spats which iv'e found
funny as f***. I was a member of a certain poetry forum when i joined
social media about 3 years ago and i got into a right old dingdong with
the members,it's so easy to type something then press enter,the intelectualls
didn't like it one little bit,nevermind,all's fair in love and war,
have a good un,Tom.
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Welcome back Tom. This is brilliant, made my day. I don't care if you were drunk or not. Have you got any music to this? I hope so.
Keith
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This song wouldn't sell a single copy, unlikely anybody would even produce it
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I rather like the idea, it kinda takes me into the grunge, death metal genre, might not suit a crooner with a big band...
I wouldn't be so sure about this not selling, if shuddupa your face can get to no 1...
Hope you have plenty of Gavison, and a large oven.
CPM
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This song wouldn't sell a single copy, unlikely anybody would even produce it
I would. Polish up a few lines. Give it an unhinged Birthday Party vibe.
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This one disappeared but thanks wkamen it's reared
it's head again.
Thanks guys for the feedback now let's kiss goodbye to the rats,
cheers,Tom.