[CANDEETA]

Hi Everyone,

I would be grateful for any feedback on my song 'Find Another Way', which you can listen to here:

https://soundcloud.com/candeeta

In particular I'd be interested to hear what you think about the vocal melody ideas, as sometimes in the past my ideas have been criticized for being too naive?

I also struggle a bit with lyrics so I'd be grateful for an advice here as well (see below). I nearly always work with melody first and lyrics second, but I tend to use words & phrases that 'feel' good to sing, without necessarily looking good on paper (I don't know if that makes any sense!). In the end I hope to be able to make some sense out of the song - in this case there is a very loose idea about someone being denied their 'conjugal rights' and contemplating having an affair.

I recorded the song on my trusted Boss BR600, playing all the instruments and singing all the vocals myself. I don't use a click track but prefer to record 'on the hoof'. Anyway, I appreciate any comments, good or not so good. Cheers, Duncan.

FIND ANOTHER WAY

There’s so much, to think about
When the sun goes down
In my mind there is no doubt
With not a soul around
Life’s too short
I’m wasting away!

I’ve gotta Find Another Way
Find Another Way (Repeat)

“Is that all you think about?!”
“Don’t try to tie me down!”
I could learn to live without
Like a king without a crown
Life’s too short
I’m wasting away!

I’ve gotta Find Another Way
Find Another Way (Repeat)

Written by D. Newnham (2016)

[CaliaMoko]

Really nice catchy melody and upbeat tempo, which I like. It's awfully short, though. Could you come up with another verse and chorus? Or maybe a bridge and chorus? Or something. It isn't even 2 minutes long right now.

That's all I have for you...no nits with the words.

Vicki

[Buc McMaster]

Very 60s sounding vocal and harmony......and hand claps.  The melody is nice, very 60s as well......kind of Hollies-ish.  The gotta find another way is on the verge of being annoyingly repetitive, though  that was not uncommon in pop of the 1960s.

.....in this case there is a very loose idea about someone being denied their 'conjugal rights' and contemplating having an affair.

Very loose is a understatement.  I'd never have picked this out as the gist of the lyric.......really can't find any gist to it.  You'll need more specifics if you want your loose idea to get through to the listener.  And to my sensibilities the overall effect is too happy and bouncy sounding to be about pondering cheating on a significant other. 

[CANDEETA]

Very 60s sounding vocal and harmony......and hand claps.  The melody is nice, very 60s as well......kind of Hollies-ish.  The gotta find another way is on the verge of being annoyingly repetitive, though  that was not uncommon in pop of the 1960s.

.....in this case there is a very loose idea about someone being denied their 'conjugal rights' and contemplating having an affair.

Very loose is a understatement.  I'd never have picked this out as the gist of the lyric.......really can't find any gist to it.  You'll need more specifics if you want your loose idea to get through to the listener.  And to my sensibilities the overall effect is too happy and bouncy sounding to be about pondering cheating on a significant other. 

Hi Buc,
Thanks for your comments. Yeah I have to agree with you there. I suppose part of the problem with playing my songs to my 'goldfish' all the time is you end up living in a bubble, and you become your own worst critic! This is where sites like this are so good because I can get a different perspective on stuff that I write.  Really found your comments helpful & constructive. Cheers, Duncan.

[CANDEETA]

Really nice catchy melody and upbeat tempo, which I like. It's awfully short, though. Could you come up with another verse and chorus? Or maybe a bridge and chorus? Or something. It isn't even 2 minutes long right now.

That's all I have for you...no nits with the words.

Vicki

Hi Vicki,
Thanks for your feedback. Yeah I know it is a bit brief! Since posting it I have actually come up with an idea for a 'middle 8' which takes the song well over the 2 minute mark. I guess I was so keen to post the song I left it as it was! Cheers, Duncan.

[IronKnee]

Hey there Candeeta...............super melodic and lyrical hook. I would like to hear something in the music that brings this dynamically up a notch. Love the harmonies, and your performances are really good!
It's a great song, but it seems to me that there is not much of a build towards, and into, that infectious hook 

As far as songwriting, in general, your methods are as fine as anyone else If it feels good, you go with that. How can you be successful writing songs that you don't feel, or enjoy writing
Anyways....Songs with strong harmonies are hard to come by, and very rare..........keep it up 

                                      -Tom

[pompeyjazz]

Very catchy stuff Duncan. I like the vocal effects and harmonies that you have. A very west coast sound (I suppose Swansea is on the West Coast  . Needs to go on for a bit longer I think. Maybe you could introduce a middle 8 and final powerful chorus ? Just suggestions. Nice piece of work.

John

[Movin Flavour]

Hi Duncan nice catchy tune.


Agree with others that it is a bit short, and needs that slight variation somewhere.

Shades of the Rembrants... I'll be there for you.


Sandeep

[Skub]

As others have mentioned,it's very catchy and I love the 60s feel harmonies,but the hook is in danger of wearing out it's welcome by over repetition.