Thanks a lot Massa, for the very clear explanations. Now, the main problem....make a decision
)
Thanks Andy. I like a lot your idea of making a contrast between the first and second verse. I like «The moon casts shadows..» But rythmically it would have to be «...casts shadows at night» not «in the night» . Would that be ok?
The music is already written you see and I need a certain amount of syllables («illuminate» is definitely too long for instance).
Another problem is that I ‘ve already used shadow as a word later in the song, so it would be a bit of a repetition. But I don’t know if it’s such a big deal . In French; it would be though.
Oh, it is so complicated. I appreciate your help so much.
Mellowh,
Thanks ,
I totally agree with you: the way lyrics sound are much more important than their meaning or the poetry.
For years, I listened to rock without understanding a word of what the singers sang and I still enjoyed it. The most rock’n roll song live EVER is for me «Rock me baby» by Hendrix at the Monterrey Festival.
Rock me babe
Rock me all night long.
I really can’t imagine anything that could be at the same time so stupid and so powerful and rock as these lines. This is the essence of rock and roll.
But I have to face that at my age, without Hendrix’ talent, I would definitely feel ridiculous while singing «Rock me babe». So I try something else. And apparently, it’s not too bad.
The moon slips/is slipping from sight?
It sounds great, but I need the moon to stay for the rest of the night for the sake of the atmosphere.
Thanks for taking the time and sharing your impressions. It means a lot, Mellowh