The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: IronKnee on September 03, 2016, 07:13:12 AM
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Here's a new one folks..Hope you all like it. As always, any thoughts and impressions are most welcome
“Walk On Fire”
By Tom Tognaci
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12831397
I
Baby, I’m wanting you
Baby, I’m needing you
Babe, I want your touch
But, maybe, that’s not enough….
…Where does the passion go
When a storm blows out the fire?
Cold rain is all you throw
While I’m burning in desire
Fan the open flames
Stoke the heart’s desire
But, take a walk on me
And you’ll walk on fire
II
Baby, I’m loving you
Baby, I count on you
Babe, before you give up on me,
I’m hoping you’ll think it through…
…Where does the passion go
When a storm blows out the fire?
Cold rain is all you throw
While I’m burning in desire
Now, do you feel like letting go?
Well, baby, you gotta know
You take a walk on me
You walk on fire
I’m burning in desires flames
While the tempest in you reigns
But, if you’re walking on me
I won’t make it easy
It’s gonna get hot when you walk on fire
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Hi Tom,
I went from Tina's latest song to yours - such an amazing contrast - and the joy of this forum epitomised.
Really like this. It builds very well - the organ/synth is great.
Your vocal is nice and earthy - totally suits the song.
I don't know if it's me, but when the last section of vocal comes in it seems a bit too dry compared to what came before - just seems to pop out a bit.
Great tune though.
Digger
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Hi Tom,
I went from Tina's latest song to yours - such an amazing contrast - and the joy of this forum epitomised.
Really like this. It builds very well - the organ/synth is great.
Your vocal is nice and earthy - totally suits the song.
I don't know if it's me, but when the last section of vocal comes in it seems a bit too dry compared to what came before - just seems to pop out a bit.
Great tune though.
Digger
Thanks soo much Digger, for listening, commenting, and initiating my thread on a positive note ;)
I'm not sure what too dry means, but I've been told that with concernes to my humor :)
Thanks, again!
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As hooky as a hook filled thing straight fro hooksville. 8)
A wonderful breath of fresh air and a break from introspection.
I get what digger says about your vocals toward the end,I hear it with a good dose of reverb,just to give that 'big hall' climatic feel to the finish.
Great stuff Tom. :)
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Hi Tom,
Great song.
Love those organ interludes and those time pauses.
Got that American Road feel.
Loves those fire harmonies.
Excellent shades of Sprigsteen.
Sandeep
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Very well done! Nice dynamics over the course, great vocal! An early Cat Stevens feel to this..... Well done!
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I was driving down route 66 in my 1963 corvette while listening to this....or was i in my studio and dreaming while i was listening to this ??? ???...damn!!
great song mate..just mega!!
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Tom,
Like this, nice and direct, liked the lyrics too - effective.
Lot to like here - the acoustic verse, the organ backed chorus and harmonies.
:)
Neil
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While I'm totally not a fan of "Baby, I need you, I want you, I love you" lyrics...if I disregard the words and just listen to the whole effect, I really like this. I love the organ. And the overall way the production builds and drops and builds and drops. It's great. The contrasts in dynamics and rhythms and pauses; it's all good. :) I think I would have liked to hear it end on the built up, full harmonied, "fire", but that's maybe just me.
Really nice sound!
Vicki
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I love how much differentiation there is between the parts of the song.
So many different "feels" to this song. And it all works (to my ears) very well.
The differentiation can either enhance the song or get in the way. In this case, I'm firmly on the side of "the differentiation clearly enhanced."
Additionally, this kind of lulls you, then kind of "answers a question the listener (me in this case) didn't even know he had asked.
I'm not sure this is as good as you can make it yet. . . but I already love it.
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As Skub said, as hooky as a hooky thingy in a psychedelic rainbow of hooks. This was superb all the way through and I thought the ending was great. The whole mix of instruments fits perfectly and its definitely one to sing along to after you've been married for too long.
I loved it Tom...really great craftsmanship that goes straight to the spine. Well done.
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I read the previous reviews and knew that with your track record (literally!) I was likely to love this.
Turns out, I wasn't wrong. Loved the organ and the rhythm of the backing track. The vocal is beautifully understated in the verses although it lost a little focus on the last section. I would have put that in the middle of the song and maybe turned the volume of your singing down to that of the verses because that understated delivery works beautifully.
Loved the simplicity and tone of your acoustic guitar and the song is so hooky and likable. The lyrics don't look special on the page but they come alive in the song.
I've reviewed a lot of songs over the past couple of days and I think this is my favourite.
Wonderful, skillful and warm songwriting.
M
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As hooky as a hook filled thing straight fro hooksville. 8)
A wonderful breath of fresh air and a break from introspection.
I get what digger says about your vocals toward the end,I hear it with a good dose of reverb,just to give that 'big hall' climatic feel to the finish.
Great stuff Tom. :)
Thanks Skub for stopping by......How did I miss an opportunity to use (more) reverb....I love the stuff (Recovering reverb abuser ;) ) Thanks, again!
Hi Tom,
Great song.
Love those organ interludes and those time pauses.
Got that American Road feel.
Loves those fire harmonies.
Excellent shades of Sprigsteen.
Sandeep
Thanks Sandeep...always nice to ear from you!
Very well done! Nice dynamics over the course, great vocal! An early Cat Stevens feel to this..... Well done!
Thanks Buc....nice to hear from you, as well!
I was driving down route 66 in my 1963 corvette while listening to this....or was i in my studio and dreaming while i was listening to this ??? ???...damn!!
great song mate..just mega!!
;D Thanks shadow........love a nice Stingray....black, with excessive chrome ;D
Tom,
Like this, nice and direct, liked the lyrics too - effective.
Lot to like here - the acoustic verse, the organ backed chorus and harmonies.
:)
Neil
Hi Neil.....thanks for listening and for the kind words!
While I'm totally not a fan of "Baby, I need you, I want you, I love you" lyrics...if I disregard the words and just listen to the whole effect, I really like this. I love the organ. And the overall way the production builds and drops and builds and drops. It's great. The contrasts in dynamics and rhythms and pauses; it's all good. :) I think I would have liked to hear it end on the built up, full harmonied, "fire", but that's maybe just me.
Really nice sound!
Vicki
Hi Vicki....Good idea with ending on a "Fire, fire, fire" build.......maybe someday ;)
And sometimes we just gotta dig down deep into the can, and pull out the worn and abused to get the idea across fast and clearly. But I was hoping that the line "But maybe that's not enough" would shed a ray of nuance with creating a sentiment, when I was airing out my well worn and cliched feelings.
Anyhoo....thanks for stopping by....I appreciate it!I love how much differentiation there is between the parts of the song.
So many different "feels" to this song. And it all works (to my ears) very well.
The differentiation can either enhance the song or get in the way. In this case, I'm firmly on the side of "the differentiation clearly enhanced."
Additionally, this kind of lulls you, then kind of "answers a question the listener (me in this case) didn't even know he had asked.
I'm not sure this is as good as you can make it yet. . . but I already love it.
Thanks Hardtwist........it's always nice to hear from you....I'm glad you liked it!
As Skub said, as hooky as a hooky thingy in a psychedelic rainbow of hooks. This was superb all the way through and I thought the ending was great. The whole mix of instruments fits perfectly and its definitely one to sing along to after you've been married for too long.
I loved it Tom...really great craftsmanship that goes straight to the spine. Well done.
Thanks M&R.....I do love hooks.
I'm still searching for that ultimate one! :) Always searching....always searching.
Thanks again!
I read the previous reviews and knew that with your track record (literally!) I was likely to love this.
Turns out, I wasn't wrong. Loved the organ and the rhythm of the backing track. The vocal is beautifully understated in the verses although it lost a little focus on the last section. I would have put that in the middle of the song and maybe turned the volume of your singing down to that of the verses because that understated delivery works beautifully.
Loved the simplicity and tone of your acoustic guitar and the song is so hooky and likable. The lyrics don't look special on the page but they come alive in the song.
I've reviewed a lot of songs over the past couple of days and I think this is my favourite.
Wonderful, skillful and warm songwriting.
M
Thanks Monty....I appreciate you listening and commenting!
I've entered my lyrics into many contests (all web-site based) and not a one has ever managed to rise above the bottom levels. A little frustrating, but it is what it is. I chalk it up to not being able to write lyrics that can stand on their own. My lyrics seem to always need the music to guide the listeners comprehension. And that has to be good enough for me......and I'll take it 8)
Thanks Monty for all the encouragement!!
And thanks to all who has listened!!
8)-Tom
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This is great stuff Tom. really captured my attention right from the start. The section where the organ drops in together with the harmony vocals for the first time is awesome :) I was getting a late sixties, early seventies Cat Stevens vibe here which is no bad thing as he has written some amazing songs. Your voice is sounding great as well. No nits from me. Top marks :)
Cheers
John
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Hey Tom
What a great song - think it's my fav of yours so far. ;D ;D
Love the emotional dynamics and the super effective stops - great arrangement.
Lovely vocals throughout. I can't find fault in this man - stellar!
Paul
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Hey Tom,
First song I've heard of yours and I really enjoyed it.
The feel I got was David Gates after a spell in the army.
The only thing that stood out for me was the rhyming of -
'but if you're walking on me,
I won't make it eazee
That sounded I little forced but otherwise - very enjoyable.
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Hey Tom,
First song I've heard of yours and I really enjoyed it.
The feel I got was David Gates after a spell in the army.
The only thing that stood out for me was the rhyming of -
'but if you're walking on me,
I won't make it eazee
Hi Alan...thanks for listening. Love David Gates ;)
Maybe it's the way I sing it.....the rhyme itself isn't forced (I think :o )
Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again!!
And thanks to all who has listened!!
-Tom
That sounded I little forced but otherwise - very enjoyable.
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Can't beat a good old organ in a great new song. Lovely job. Maybe a tad stop and start for me, but I'm nit-picking - tremendous vocals and great melody.
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Hey Tom
You got me at the first verse ;) This is really a very strong song and I love the tempo changes.
One remark (may be my ears): did you use some kind of flanger sound on your vocals? No need for effects there man, your natural voice is just fine.
Cheers
Andy
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fantastic!!
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Excellent song ;D
Really like the strumming and that organ....perfect ;D
Great arrangement and vocal....nothing to fault ;D
Lovely feel to the song, a joy to listen to. Reminded me
a bit of Cat Stevens early stuff..
Loved it...
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Loved all of it. Great vibe, beautifully understated performances, and a pleasing 70's-sounding production. Made me want to try something similar myself!
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This is great stuff Tom. really captured my attention right from the start. The section where the organ drops in together with the harmony vocals for the first time is awesome :) I was getting a late sixties, early seventies Cat Stevens vibe here which is no bad thing as he has written some amazing songs. Your voice is sounding great as well. No nits from me. Top marks :)
Cheers
John
Always nice to hear from you Pompy...thanks for all the support and kudos.....I appreciate it! ;D
Hey Tom
What a great song - think it's my fav of yours so far. ;D ;D
Love the emotional dynamics and the super effective stops - great arrangement.
Lovely vocals throughout. I can't find fault in this man - stellar!
Paul
Thanks, Paul...... 8)
Can't beat a good old organ in a great new song. Lovely job. Maybe a tad stop and start for me, but I'm nit-picking - tremendous vocals and great melody.
Hey there delb0y.....gotta keep trying new things.......but i'm glad you stopped by. Thanks for the encouragement!
Hey Tom
You got me at the first verse ;) This is really a very strong song and I love the tempo changes.
One remark (may be my ears): did you use some kind of flanger sound on your vocals? No need for effects there man, your natural voice is just fine.
Cheers
Andy
Thanks Andy............I use a Boss Micro BR-4 trk. I used one of the pre-programmed mastering effects on the 1+1 version (later used by Paul Battersby in the full production).
Thanks for the kudos ;D
fantastic!!
Awesome!! Thanks!
Excellent song ;D
Really like the strumming and that organ....perfect ;D
Great arrangement and vocal....nothing to fault ;D
Lovely feel to the song, a joy to listen to. Reminded me
a bit of Cat Stevens early stuff..
Loved it...
Thanks Bin for stopping by! I really appreciate it! 8)
Loved all of it. Great vibe, beautifully understated performances, and a pleasing 70's-sounding production. Made me want to try something similar myself!
Thanks Daniel........That's one of the greatest compliments anyone can give......Inspiration! :o
Thanks, man!
And thanks to all who has listened!!
8)-Tom
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Howzit bruddah,
Dis tune sure stay da kine! So ono.....Broke da ear!!!!
Well done with great vocals and dynamics...! Congrats to you and Paul....
Haole Igg
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Howzit bruddah,
Dis tune sure stay da kine! So ono.....Broke da ear!!!!
Well done with great vocals and dynamics...! Congrats to you and Paul....
Haole Igg
HOOOOh Bah, I neva no you speak da kine 8)
Tanks Bruddah.........
-T
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Didn't like the opening but I had nothing else to do so I kept listening! Glad I did. At 30 seconds in it gets nicely into gear. Love the rounded bass sound, flat drums and steely, rock organ. Your voice works extremely well and the harmonies are a treat although I thought you could have used them more ... I was going to say ... in the chorus but, I'm not sure there is a chorus is there? It's not missing just ... not there. The lyric is focused and makes a point ... go with this guy and it'll be fun but hard Ooh err Missus!
I think you've achieved a great 'live' feel on this recording. Was it live? Also, maybe my memory is foggier than I thought but I reckon you get better with each posting.
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Didn't like the opening but I had nothing else to do so I kept listening! Glad I did. At 30 seconds in it gets nicely into gear. Love the rounded bass sound, flat drums and steely, rock organ. Your voice works extremely well and the harmonies are a treat although I thought you could have used them more ... I was going to say ... in the chorus but, I'm not sure there is a chorus is there? It's not missing just ... not there. The lyric is focused and makes a point ... go with this guy and it'll be fun but hard Ooh err Missus!
I think you've achieved a great 'live' feel on this recording. Was it live? Also, maybe my memory is foggier than I thought but I reckon you get better with each posting.
Thanks ShinyThang........I appreciate the encouragement ;D
Thanks sooo much for stopping by and listening!
And thanks to all who have listened!
-Tom
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Christ that's retro. Good stuff. Great voice.
Only one thing, the lyric could be crafted on a little more, only in my opinion.
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Christ that's retro. Good stuff. Great voice.
Only one thing, the lyric could be crafted on a little more, only in my opinion.
Hi Caleb....thanks for stopping by for a listen, and by commenting ;D
I would like to ask you, however, as to what you mean by this being retro? Could you please explain what this is being compared to :)
And what do you mean by your wish that this lyric be "crafted on a little more"? On a little more what ???
I'm sure you have some answers, and I'm looking forward to hearing more ;D
Thanks, again....
Sincerely,
8)-Tom
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Christ that's retro. Good stuff. Great voice.
Only one thing, the lyric could be crafted on a little more, only in my opinion.
Hi Caleb....thanks for stopping by for a listen, and by commenting ;D
I would like to ask you, however, as to what you mean by this being retro? Could you please explain what this is being compared to :)
And what do you mean by your wish that this lyric be "crafted on a little more"? On a little more what ???
I'm sure you have some answers, and I'm looking forward to hearing more ;D
Thanks, again....
Tom don't take offense. My retro comment was a compliment, thought the instrumentation was early 70's singer songwritier-esque and in a world where Adele, Rhianna and Mumford and Sons are all huge I don't see there being a limit or a certain mold we need to choose to present our music as long as it's done from the heart, people will buy into it.
Lyric wise my opinion is simple, I thought the use of the word desire in too different contexts in two different sections was a little clunky that's all.
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Christ that's retro. Good stuff. Great voice.
Only one thing, the lyric could be crafted on a little more, only in my opinion.
Hi Caleb....thanks for stopping by for a listen, and by commenting ;D
I would like to ask you, however, as to what you mean by this being retro? Could you please explain what this is being compared to :)
And what do you mean by your wish that this lyric be "crafted on a little more"? On a little more what ???
I'm sure you have some answers, and I'm looking forward to hearing more ;D
Thanks, again....
Tom don't take offense. My retro comment was a compliment, thought the instrumentation was early 70's singer songwritier-esque and in a world where Adele, Rhianna and Mumford and Sons are all huge I don't see there being a limit or a certain mold we need to choose to present our music as long as it's done from the heart, people will buy into it.
Lyric wise my opinion is simple, I thought the use of the word desire in too different contexts in two different sections was a little clunky that's all.
Hey there Caleb......no offense taken. I just wanted some clarity.
Retro....ok...70's....cool!
Clunky....ok......everything I write is clunky ;D Where would I be, if not clunky ???.......oh, ya, rich & famous ;)
Thanks Caleb for answering.
8)-Tom
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Christ that's retro. Good stuff. Great voice.
Only one thing, the lyric could be crafted on a little more, only in my opinion.
Hi Caleb....thanks for stopping by for a listen, and by commenting ;D
I would like to ask you, however, as to what you mean by this being retro? Could you please explain what this is being compared to :)
And what do you mean by your wish that this lyric be "crafted on a little more"? On a little more what ???
I'm sure you have some answers, and I'm looking forward to hearing more ;D
Thanks, again....
Tom don't take offense. My retro comment was a compliment, thought the instrumentation was early 70's singer songwritier-esque and in a world where Adele, Rhianna and Mumford and Sons are all huge I don't see there being a limit or a certain mold we need to choose to present our music as long as it's done from the heart, people will buy into it.
Lyric wise my opinion is simple, I thought the use of the word desire in too different contexts in two different sections was a little clunky that's all.
Hey there Caleb......no offense taken. I just wanted some clarity.
Retro....ok...70's....cool!
Clunky....ok......everything I write is clunky ;D Where would I be, if not clunky ???.......oh, ya, rich & famous ;)
Thanks Caleb for answering.
8)-Tom
You're a talented guy have fun with it. :)
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Christ that's retro. Good stuff. Great voice.
Only one thing, the lyric could be crafted on a little more, only in my opinion.
Hi Caleb....thanks for stopping by for a listen, and by commenting ;D
I would like to ask you, however, as to what you mean by this being retro? Could you please explain what this is being compared to :)
And what do you mean by your wish that this lyric be "crafted on a little more"? On a little more what ???
I'm sure you have some answers, and I'm looking forward to hearing more ;D
Thanks, again....
Tom don't take offense. My retro comment was a compliment, thought the instrumentation was early 70's singer songwritier-esque and in a world where Adele, Rhianna and Mumford and Sons are all huge I don't see there being a limit or a certain mold we need to choose to present our music as long as it's done from the heart, people will buy into it.
Lyric wise my opinion is simple, I thought the use of the word desire in too different contexts in two different sections was a little clunky that's all.
Hey there Caleb......no offense taken. I just wanted some clarity.
Retro....ok...70's....cool!
Clunky....ok......everything I write is clunky ;D Where would I be, if not clunky ???.......oh, ya, rich & famous ;)
Thanks Caleb for answering.
8)-Tom
You're a talented guy have fun with it. :)
Hey there Caleb......I truly am apologetic . I didn't mean to come off as snarky. I appreciate your comments. ;D
-T
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Christ that's retro. Good stuff. Great voice.
Only one thing, the lyric could be crafted on a little more, only in my opinion.
Hi Caleb....thanks for stopping by for a listen, and by commenting ;D
I would like to ask you, however, as to what you mean by this being retro? Could you please explain what this is being compared to :)
And what do you mean by your wish that this lyric be "crafted on a little more"? On a little more what ???
I'm sure you have some answers, and I'm looking forward to hearing more ;D
Thanks, again....
Tom don't take offense. My retro comment was a compliment, thought the instrumentation was early 70's singer songwritier-esque and in a world where Adele, Rhianna and Mumford and Sons are all huge I don't see there being a limit or a certain mold we need to choose to present our music as long as it's done from the heart, people will buy into it.
Lyric wise my opinion is simple, I thought the use of the word desire in too different contexts in two different sections was a little clunky that's all.
Hey there Caleb......no offense taken. I just wanted some clarity.
Retro....ok...70's....cool!
Clunky....ok......everything I write is clunky ;D Where would I be, if not clunky ???.......oh, ya, rich & famous ;)
Thanks Caleb for answering.
8)-Tom
You're a talented guy have fun with it. :)
Hey there Caleb......I truly am apologetic . I didn't mean to come off as snarky. I appreciate your comments. ;D
-T
;D right back at you.
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Great song and nice production!
Agree with the others - you did a good job :-) definitely
I really like the organ...
All the best
Seb