[Neil C]

Hi,
Here's my tune for STC's enigmatic dark words around betrayal, always fun to write to his lyrics.
This is intended to the 3rd track on my 'EP'. Its a ballad but tried to give it some power on occasions too.

Probably needs one final vocal take but would appreciate your feedback on the song, playing and mix.
Thanks

Neil


https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/broke-in-two-demo-master-13-july-2015

Joshua was a friend of mine,but more a friend of yours
He drank his beer in silence, opened your doors
He drove a rusty car, ....he never  traveled far
On roads made of stones, wished it was tar, wished it was made of tar

And how come, I saw you two, laughing hand in hand
You said his jokes were dull, his was food bland
But I saw that look inside your eyes
Splintered my guitar, ground into the sand. Ground into the sand

So stop your thoughtless words and comments for who
My broken bones, will be your broken bones, broke in two
And forget all my promises, watch them dissipate
Lady it's all gone now, it's too late...

And drink his liquor,  if you like,    if you think
Cos nothing flows as sweet, as that bitter drink
I told you of wonders west. I told you, you were the best
It was my truth, I meant no jest. Now I feel the same, as all the rest

When midnight strikes the evening air
And you lie there a wondering if I still care
Look to the darkness, say is it's all fair
And the emptiness around you, I’m nowhere
The bullets on the shelf,  gun burns in the fire
I hope you have your memories  .....nothing's left for hire

So stop your thoughtless words and comments for who?
My broken bones, will be your broken bones, broke in two
And forget all my promises, watch them dissipate
Lady it's all gone, now it's too late...

c STC/Connor 2015

[mondobongo]

I read the lyric, which is very good, in fact it's a very good lyric. But I but wondered how you would wrap a song around it. You've done this very cleverly. Some lovely minor chords. That's a sweet electric guitar sound you've captured. Nice sounds all round, good engineering and production. A great song.

[MartiMedia]

Like the lyrics Neil! Great instrumental by STC (right?) This makes a really nice collab! Did you sing the leadvox and the backvox Neil?
For the leadvox: great work, sounds really nice! Only suggestion would be to expiriment a bit more adding a bit more (authentic) expression but that's really a minor.
Loved this song!
MM

[S.T.C]

Like the lyrics Neil! Great instrumental by STC (right?) This makes a really nice collab! Did you sing the leadvox and the backvox Neil?
For the leadvox: great work, sounds really nice! Only suggestion would be to expiriment a bit more adding a bit more (authentic) expression but that's really a minor.
Loved this song!
MM

Other way around ,lyrics me ,vox Neil .

[shadowfax]

Veeerry good job guy's...I'd like to able to write lyrics like that but just aint got the talent...

backing track very effective, not nits with it at all,

best, Kevin

[pompeyjazz]

Great lyrics, great guitar (Especially the major to minor changes), great production ..... What else can I say. Another classic Neil

John

[adamfarr]

Really enjoyed the lyrics here - lots of unique touches. And the music seems right in the NeilC sweetspot of building and layered guitars.

Like the way it went back down at the end (more suitable than a final rousing chorus...) - coming back to the first line was really effective.

[crystalsuzy]

Very nice collab guys Excellent lyrics STC  and excellent fit with the music Neil
 Nice harmonies coming through the left stereo  
I really love it when it kicks in around 3:30, and then you bring it back to the opening line for the finally...sweet 
Stellar guitars and backing  track Neil Great production 

[Jamie]

Hi Neil, love the chord progressions and the guitar sounds, the major to minor thing works very well with the lyric. The melody is really good, may be my favourite of yours! You make a nicely layered and played song sound fairly simple, which it's not!
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[Frenchy]

Neil,

great lyrics on this one as always. Perhaps I would get to the chorus a little bit quicker, but that's just probably my pop sensibility coming out.

Great solid playing too as always

Regards,
Frenchy

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

A bit of a rock epic here.

Sounds fabulous from that first guitar burst - was that band on The run for a split second there?

Some really nice delicate melodies in the verses especially the last line.

Vocals are very good here - maybe my new fave of yours - seems to suit you this style.

Nice lyric from STC. Well done man!

Chorus is bloody good. I would have been tempted to repeat it at the end....then maybe still come back for that last 'Joshua' bit. This would have made it a bit long of course....well, i would kill the 'midnight strikes section' which didn't do much for the song I don't think and definitely the weak point for me.

Good stuff anyway. Good title too.

Great chorus!

[olivergearing]

Nice song, enjoyed listening to it. A highlight for me were the BVs joining at "Ground into the sand", gave the song a lift into the excellent chorus.

Chorus is very strong, love the melody and how it played with the chords. Blur and Oasis spring to mind from the nineties, not in the style, but in the songwriting.

Also, really enjoyed the "I told you wonders of the west" section, nice change in vibe that set up the ending of the track.

When you do the re-record, I think some carefully place double vocals could really add something here... :-)

Thanks

[Neil C]

Oliver, thanks for the listsen comments, especially around the vocals which is a development area for me..

Dear Count, "rock epic" thanks a lot and yes that intro guitar has a definite 70's wings vibe. Chuffed you liked the vocals and chorus. I did consider doubling it towards the end a nd a rockier ending but felt reprising the first line made a great way out.

Frenchy, lyrics all down to STC and understand your point about chorus, always tricky with a two verse approach but this is not pop so the listener has to be prepared to invest a little too.

Jamie, thanks a lot for try our comments. This one was written on the piano so I brought out my Elton side of things and chord progression...

CS, great feedback. Thanks for the comments about the arrangement and the way it kicks back into v3 and then reverts to the intro at the end.

Adam, thanks for the feedback, especially my 'sweet spot'

Pompeyjazz, agai. The inspiration was STC's fab lyrics

Kevin, great feedback, I wish I could write lyrics like that too..

MM, thanks yes the vocals are all me and I should be able to make some marginal improvements..

Mondo bongo, thanks for the +ve comments, I used a PRS SE Soapbar with a great pair of the creamery pickups and either a marshal or vox profile from my uber Kemper amp profiler. Great bit of kit.

[PaulAds]

I'm a fan of your writing and your productions. The guitar sounds and the playing are really great. There's a real warmth and friendliness in your music - and I love how it spins back to the beginning to finish...a top job

[Neil C]

PaulAds, thanks a lot for your warmth and friendliness comment, I've not heard that expressed that way before but its really, really encouraging feedback.
 
Neil