[JoshIlanMusic]

Hi,

First time I have posted lyrics I have written on here. It is called "War and Peace", which is basically about the irony of war - how peace can only be secured through violence, and the impact on the people involved. Would be great if you could tell me what you think of it - any feedback/constructive criticism welcome:


All those people,
Dragged from their normal lives,
Placed in situations,
That could end their time,
Running away is no option,
They will drag you back,
The only way to get the peace,
Is by fighting back.

Isn’t it ironic?
That it’s only the way,
We can’t act as pacifists,
We must abandon humanity.

All those lives,
And all those flames,
And all those dreams,
Ruined today,
For an ideal,
Called peace.

People will lose their souls,
Made bloodthirsty and unrestrained,
Running amok in the wild,
Like headless chickens,
Without a heart,
And they will run until the end,
Until blood marks their sleeves,
But they don’t know what they’re fighting for.

Isn’t it ironic?
That it’s only the way,
We can’t act as pacifists,
We must abandon humanity.

All those lives,
And all those flames,
And all those dreams,
Ruined today,
For an ideal,
Called peace.

Killing fields,
Scattered with bones,
Not names anymore,
Just left to rot to the core,
Their lives gone,
In a vicious battle,
Just so they could attain,
The peace they were fighting for.

Isn’t it ironic?
That it’s only the way,
We can’t act as pacifists,
We must abandon humanity.

All those lives,
And all those flames,
And all those dreams,
Ruined today,
For an ideal,
Called peace.

All those lives,
And all those flames,
And all those dreams,
Ruined today,
For an ideal,
Called peace.

Object to violence,
Because when it appears to do good,
The only good is temporary,
The evil done is permanent.

[EattheChildren]

A very interesting set of lyrics here. I really liked the metaphor comparing people to headless chickens. That really sealed the image of violence and confusion in my mind. These lyrics are very powerful and absolutely incredible, but my only issue is that there seems to be a lack of direction with the lyrics. (This may just be me though, since I'm a fan of music with stories) A really good write, and I'm excited to read more!

[JoshIlanMusic]

A very interesting set of lyrics here. I really liked the metaphor comparing people to headless chickens. That really sealed the image of violence and confusion in my mind. These lyrics are very powerful and absolutely incredible, but my only issue is that there seems to be a lack of direction with the lyrics. (This may just be me though, since I'm a fan of music with stories) A really good write, and I'm excited to read more!

Cheers, glad you liked it - will post some more in the next day or so! Regarding the lack of direction, it is quite hard, for myself, to write lyrics without any idea of the instrumental and melody; I am currently just a lyricist, planning on starting a band, so hopefully that improves upon doing this!

[Paulski]

Hey - welcome to the forum!
Great first post - I really liked this. You have a good structure here - I can see the verses, prechoruses and choruses. Well thought-out lyrics on a tough subject.
My only nit-pick would be the last verse lyrics (or is it a bridge?). It seems to contradict the message of "sometimes violence is necessary" rather than express it from a different angle (like a bridge usually does). So it left me a tad confused.
Overall a nice write!
Paul

[Scarriff]

This is some powerful stuff and I like.
I totally agree with the theme of this song and as well as that the lyrics depict and define how senseless and destructive war is.
It takes big ones to tackle a song like this and especially so maturely, by that I mean that anyone can talk about death and guns and war but it takes a dam good writer to craft a lyric about violence in a non-violent song... well done.

My favorite line(s) is:
"Ruined today,
For an ideal,
Called peace."

So clean and simple but very powerful... great song