The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: LostBoy on November 10, 2021, 12:13:47 PM
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Hi guys,
This is not a new song, but it has had a fresh coat of paint thanks to my friend Tony Lowther, over on the Muse forum.
Tony has reimagined the music for me and I am very happy to share it here.
It’s a song about fighting our own demons.
All feedback is welcome and thanks for checking it out.
https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/better-man-reimagined-by-tony-lowther-2021?si=5f88a1793f1e46b3a8811b9e3c8ddec2
Lyrics.
Like so many things I long to change
I know you and I will meet again
Such a temptation I must fight
And I’ve been weak before, but not this time
Yes the world makes you strong
But I will take you down
Cos I know, I’m a better man than you’d show.
Chorus.
So don’t you tell me how it’s gonna be
I won’t let you take the best of me
Love will let the sunshine down on me
‘Til your shadow fades away.
Like a shooting star flees the night
I have run from you to the light
You’re a hurricane when you strike
But I’ve found inner peace in the eye.
And yes the world makes you strong
But I will take you down
Cos I know, I’m a better man than you’d show.
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Another fine song
I can't find fault with the production
You must have loads of high quality productions.
Super talented.
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Hola @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481)
What a beautiful song! A musical contrast with the lyrics, deep and descriptive. Very good arrangement, instrumentation, mixing, your voice is great here, full of nuances depending on the words you pronounce, very good song.
Mora
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Whato @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) - A wonderful song, you know me, I'm listening to the piano and the Cellos, rather than the lyrics...beautiful Vocal delivery, as always.
Effective drumming fills. Thought the strings and choir came in a bit early, might have waited till the chorus at the end, for the full "Big Cinematic Ending"
Always a joy to hear your work
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The title, "Better Man" caught my eye immediately. I wrote a song called, "The Better Man". Two different tunes.... mine is a 1+1, while yours is a production deluxe.
Your's is a grand venture.........you guys are really good.
Good luck.......
-T
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) man oh man… your voice… just so good, some of the big notes you hit so cleanly in the chorus of this😮🤩 a beautiful song really well produced, it feels so sweepingly cinematic… not my usual kind of thing but I can really appreciate the talent and skill in making this… beautiful!👌
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Fantastically beautiful harmonics! Excellent vocals, beautiful timbre of the voice, very high quality mix. The end of the song is incomparable!
This song can be a hit.
Thank you for such a good song, I enjoy the melody.
Maya
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@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) @man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704) @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) Sorry it took sooo long to say thank you guys!😊 As always I’m grateful for your time and feedback.
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Good grief, this is superb. I do hang out on The Muse sometimes but I don't think I've heard this one before. Now we're supposed to offer crits I know, but how can I?! Wonderful vocals and the production is just brilliant. I'd but buy an album of this stuff any time. Well done - a fantastic track. :)
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Hi LB,
That sounded great.
The piano had a wonderful tone - that slightly dark foreboding sound you get on "Symphonic" Rock.
For 20 years old it sounds totally fresh and current.
Brill stuff.
Digger
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) this is just beautiful.
Production and arrangement are spot on to underpin the emotion of the lyric and the vocal, which of course is sublime as ever.
I think this might one of my favourites of yours ..
Beautifully done.
K
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Hi, First off I rush to make a comment after hearing the last line of your chorus because if I were in the studio looking over things while this song were recording I definitely would have stopped the session at that point, why? because it kills a moment or opportunity to have a bright instrument or instrumental kinda melody (And I am talking musically here) to bridge over to your 2nd verse. That's all I want to comment on. Lovely song though.
Irwin
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Hey @irwin (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19439) - thanks for this... I am always willing to learn about how to improve transitions between phases of songs - so can you perhaps elaborate here a little for me? What kind of instrumental break do you mean - what would have made it flow better from an arrangement perspective?