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Songwriter Forum => Competitions => Topic started by: Paul on March 22, 2012, 06:01:14 PM

Title: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Paul on March 22, 2012, 06:01:14 PM
A song about vanity, music concerts, getting lost, a limousine and being careful.

http://soundcloud.com/vanity1/cautiously-insane

Cautiously insane

Cold night, dark skies, walking down the city steps.
Homeward bound are we.
Stage door exit, limousine is waiting there.
Gateway to the stars.

shake the joker from this deck.
He must be weary of his role in these affairs.
I met him once upon the stairs and he was beat.

Still, he's working on his plan.
We're back to zero. Counting everything we earn
When we'd prefer to let it burn, we think of rain.

We must be cautiously insane.
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Dutchbeat on March 22, 2012, 07:01:15 PM
just brilliant, smashing!!!!

and all that in 1.26 seconds

so the only downside could be,
you left 4 seconds unused  :D
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: tina m on March 22, 2012, 07:29:39 PM
i promise i am not going to mention paddy mcaloon ever ever again ok.... but i did think he was the god of songwriting for a few years & to hear you exploring similar roads is very exciting! just brilliant ...loved it
it sounds like a true story
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Kafla on March 22, 2012, 08:01:07 PM
Not a word wasted , various melodies and a cracking narrative

Would read well as a poem

I am a massive fan but this is a classic  :)
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: nooms on March 22, 2012, 08:46:40 PM
lovely dreamy song paul,
vocal very distinctive and warm

nooms


Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: domj on March 22, 2012, 09:55:12 PM
I find it incredible what you can can fit in a minute and a half, and you fit so much!
This place is already an education to me.
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: James Nighthawk on March 22, 2012, 11:38:50 PM
shake the joker from this deck.
He must be weary of his role in these affairs.
I met him once upon the stairs and he was beat.


Lovely stanza there! Ace lyric writing

Very nice work, and love the sudden ending on the title lyric.

This song would be amazing with an abbey-road style string section. Keeping it at the same length, but having it huge and built up, in a filmic way.

The kind of thing only rock stars have the luxury to do, of course  :D
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Schavuitje on March 23, 2012, 01:03:27 AM
This is simply awesome mate.

Excellence.  ;D
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Ramshackles on March 23, 2012, 07:08:40 AM
Something about 'short song' brings out lots of little acoustic-picked ditties :D.
Beautiful tune, although I'm not a fan of the lyrical topic..
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: cheff daniel on March 23, 2012, 11:12:19 AM
in one word outstanding Paul. i love it.




gr.    Dan
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: estreet on March 23, 2012, 04:50:43 PM
Interesting melody, nice recording and an all round thumbs up!
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: bewarethisboy on March 23, 2012, 06:40:16 PM
that does it for me - I am not entering this contest I know when I am beat!! And actually it was a long time ago!! This a truly memorable and moving little song. I love the arrangement and would be happy if you never changed anything in it. Best 1.24 minutes of the day by far - and I have had a very lovely day. BTB
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Songsmith on March 23, 2012, 06:55:39 PM
Hiya Paul,
              great track mate, lovely playing & vocal loved the "shake the joker" mid part!!!! Ace
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Paul on March 23, 2012, 11:39:45 PM
I'd like to say a big thanks to everyone who took the time to review this song.

It dates back to the mid 1990's when I attended a Placebo concert.  At the time, I was a little too vain to wear my glasses and had terrible night vision without them. I was separated from my brother and his friends as we left the concert venue.  I couldn't even find the car that we had travelled in.  I came across a limousine which I assumed was waiting for the band at the stage door exit. At the time, the limousine represented "a gateway to the stars". The lifestyle of such a succesful group of musicians must have been a world away from the kind of life that many people experience "counting everything we earn when we'd prefer to let it burn." That last line caused me to consider how cautiously my partner and I lived our lives, always being careful with money, when really know one knows what will happen the next day.  So I suppose the message in this song that I wrote as a young man so many years ago would be to live life from day to day without worrying too much about what will happen tomorrow.

Thanks for listening!
Title: Re: short song competition entry/Cautiously insane
Post by: Arturo Boyero on April 02, 2012, 06:55:34 PM
The first 3 or 4 notes reminded me of Time after time by Cindy Lauper, and I glady discovered that it was just that. Your sound is very good! Thumbs up!