The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: stokie63 on May 01, 2012, 10:13:15 PM
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Being a rolling stones fan i wrote this about the founder member brian jones.
Standing in the shadows
No time to spare
You changed the way people care
The founder with the blonde hair
You lived your life your way
No self control just horse play
You may have gone
Your memory lives on
CHORUS
Stoned away you didnt care
Stoned away its unfair
Stoned away its a different day
Everybody knows who you are
The blues the sound of your guitar
Your own style
Too the clothes you wear
The last time felt right
Off your cloud every night
You got blown away
In the pool that day
CHORUS
Stoned away you didnt care
Stoned away its unfair
Stoned away its a different day
Stoned away you didnt care
Stoned away its unfair
Stoned away its a different day
Copyright-----Paul Brookes,Guild No;2107880.
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Hey man, please take the time to review some other members' songs before posting more of your own.
One thing I notice as a comment trend in your songs is your verses are very repetition-heavy and a bit bland in comparison to the verses. It's cool that you have your own little style in your writing there by being minimalist in your choruses but a bit more substance in them would be nice I think.
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Hey man, please take the time to review some other members' songs before posting more of your own.
One thing I notice as a comment trend in your songs is your verses are very repetition-heavy and a bit bland in comparison to the verses. It's cool that you have your own little style in your writing there by being minimalist in your choruses but a bit more substance in them would be nice I think.
Iam new on here so just finding my feet your observations will be taken on board, we all appreciare input be it good or bad thats how we can improve.