@CaliaMoko,
I don't connect with the characters in this story. As I see it, there is basically a selfish guy, extending an invite to a very young girl to travel with him to Mississippi whilst he contemplates an escape from a settled life with his current partner. I'm asking myself, why does the young girl wonder why she didn't go to Mississippi.
I need a reason to unfold that tells me this man had something that was exciting, intoxicating, endearing that made the girl in the story regret not going with him. That's how I'd develop the story. At the moment, the girl is basically wondering what if, without any reason to do so and that is communicated to the listener.
Musically, kudos for tackling all of the instruments. It's great to hear your progress. The Zager and Evans influence is very strong here but that can be easily disguised for the better with production mixing and additional instruments.
The overpowering feeling that I have is that the man is self absorbed. There is nothing to like about him. He doesn't care if the young girl stays as long as she accompanies him. That doesn't help me connect with the story or believe why anyone would wonder what if.
Please don't think that this is a negative review. I think it highlights an area that must be addressed in order to engage the listener.
I hope this helps Vicki.
Paul