Songwriter Forum > Feedback on Finished songs
Black Station Wagon
montydog:
It's thank you time again :-) I am so pleased this song went down well; it is a bit of a departure from my usual. Thank you to all of you who helped this song become the most played song on the Soundcloud forum page for July.
--- Quote from: Unclenny on July 01, 2020, 04:39:00 PM ---I like this tune a lot. It's a classic story that is well told with great instrumentation and good dynamic production choices.
I like where you go at 1:56 and I love the short instrumental that comes shortly after.
Just a great song all around with a chorus that sticks. Chuckling at the lyrical twist in the last chorus.
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@Unclenny Thanks for the kind words - glad you liked the song.
--- Quote from: PaulAds on July 05, 2020, 06:34:05 PM ---Knockout lyrics and a real down and dirty smoky vibe.
"Freshly turned earth in a wood in Wisconsin"
was the pick of the bunch...and enough to set it apart from the other 95% of writers
i thought that you might have found a couple of bits awkward to phrase? That's maybe more because it's not the sort of thing i'm so familiar with...but it sounds great anyway!
i heard a line the other day...someone described someone else as being "a monday morning quarterback" which i thought was a brilliant line...and i thought "ooh...i wonder if i could use that in a song?" but i don't think i could...i'm too homespun, i think. You could, though...but why would you when you could write something better...
Backing was as cool as can be...and when the sax came in...it sounded like you were banging this out in a bar...and a sax player randomly dropped in for a beer on his way home and when he heard this, he thought "i'm having some of that" whipped it out of the case and joined in.
V cool.
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@PaulAds Wow! thanks for the brilliant review - made my day and I'm so pleased that you got so much out of it.
--- Quote from: Andreas on July 05, 2020, 03:50:44 PM ---Great tune @montydog! Great storytelling in the lyrics. Love the instrumental at the end. A great classic! :)
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@Andreas Great that you liked the storytelling and thanks for taking the time to comment.
--- Quote from: MichaelA on July 05, 2020, 10:57:44 AM ---Hi Alan I like the dark humour to this and the use of the 'unreliable narrator' who claims innocence. It's funny in songs or fiction, you feel sorry for, in this instance, the protagonist as the evil guy has stolen his missus. Then you realise that he's killed them and this seems quite reasonable in the circumstances ;D quite unlike real life, of course, so you pull off this fictional trick with aplomb. Makes it all very entertaining.
The jaunty blues influenced backing track has a slight dark edge to it, but at the same time seems quite bouncy and merry, again making the revenge murder seem to be inconsequential- if such a deed can be done on top of a cheery piece of music. I found the whole thing intriguing and subtly entertaining. Well pulled off!
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@MichaelA Many thanks for the long, thoughtful review. It means a lot.
--- Quote from: pompeyjazz on July 04, 2020, 08:52:14 PM ---I thought this was fabulous Alan. Really enjoyed the jazzy vibe .The keys underpinning it are great and it's spot on for your vocals which are sounding mighty fine. Top work all around
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@pompeyjazz Thanks for taking the time to listen and review. Brilliant that you liked it so much.
--- Quote from: digger72 on July 04, 2020, 05:08:22 PM ---Hi Alan,
This would be a perfect vehicle for Dave Lee Roth in his Eat Em And Smile days.
I think he'd groove big time on this. Sort of like Just A Gigolo.
Loving the delivery.
That bass is just great.
The solo in to sax works perfectly - I'd have been tempted with a little more lead sax.
Cool lyrics. A cracking tune.
Digger
--- End quote ---
@digger72 Thanks for the great review and for taking the time.
--- Quote from: Bostonfan2 on July 03, 2020, 04:51:15 PM ---Nicely done! Rhythm flows with a nice shuffle, lead guitar & sax are fitting great
here. As mentioned your baritone suits the theme & story perfectly, I dig it :)
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@Bostonfan2 Glad you dig it and thanks
--- Quote from: Neil C on July 01, 2020, 04:54:26 PM ---Alan,
Love the bluesy feel to this, I just flows along with the bass and drums providing a cool shuffled platform for your storytelling and vocals.
Cool guitar and sax solo.
Lots to like here.
:-)
Neil
--- End quote ---
@Neil C Many thanks for the kind words as always.
--- Quote from: PeteS on July 03, 2020, 02:48:27 PM ---Great song Alan, definite laid back bluesy feel.
Like it!
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@PeteS Great that you liked the bluesy feel - blues is not my usual thing at all.
--- Quote from: cowparsleyman on July 03, 2020, 08:22:45 AM ---@montydog - Love this one, I just imagined walking into a blues bar, and your band was playing this, just like old times, all smokey, hot and the smell of beer, lovely slide guitar. Nothing to add except would love to play the solo on this.
Has a bit of Van the Man in it...
Doesn't sound the same "He drove a Vauxhall Viva 1.6L Estate" does it?
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@cowparsleyman No, you're right. American stuff always sounds way cooler. "Fresh turned earth in a wood in Wolverhampton" doesn't quite work!
--- Quote from: moraamarolaloba on July 02, 2020, 02:05:43 PM ---A perfect classic!!!!
I like how you describe though the lyrics that story @montydog
A very pleasant and elegant track!! The organ sounds great as well as the wind instruments!!
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@moraamarolaloba Great that you liked the lyrics and instrumentation. Thanks for listening.
--- Quote from: rightly on July 02, 2020, 12:43:06 PM ---Quality stuff again.
No knits from me.
My favourite line has to be.
It was the weekend that pushed me too far
Great.
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@rightly What a weekend it must have been!
--- Quote from: Furry61 on July 02, 2020, 12:31:14 PM ---Alan, a great bluesy feel here, lovely standout guitar. Tongue in cheek lyric tells the story exceptionally well which is the other standout, also fits the blues so well. I think I agree 'Mediterranean' sounds a little clumsy but that's a very minor point and overall this is great fun to listen to. Geoff
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@Furry61 Hi Geoff - great that you liked the song. 'Mediterranean' was a bit tricky. I could do it better now though.
--- Quote from: adamfarr on July 02, 2020, 08:50:28 AM ---I loved this! I think your more baritone-tone here suits the darker theme, and the jaunty backing sets off it so well.
Lots of lyrical clues as to what's to happen - which we might not get on the first listen but on the second all point to the inevitable conclusion.
Minor criticism - I think the word Mediterranean could be phrased differently, it sounded forced and spoilt that part a bit for me ("Mediterranean sea" might scan better and the loss of the end rhyme wouldn't be noticed I don't think).
But small beans, the overall effect is fabulous, great story and great listen.
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@adamfarr Thanks for the great review 'Mediterranean' is an issue I accept.
Wicked Deeds:
Great story telling. Thoroughly engaging from the introduction to tge end. You've created a really full sound without sacrificing song dynsmics. Really enjoyable!
Paul
montydog:
--- Quote from: Jamie on July 06, 2020, 03:40:44 PM ---@montydog
Hi Alan, This style really suited your voice. Great lyrics (although I do agree about the med bit),loved the instrumentation and the slide guitar and sax solos were brilliant. Very authentic!
Cheers
Jamie
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@Jamie Thanks for the kind words. Means a lot coming from a man of your attainments.
--- Quote from: Binladeda on July 10, 2020, 07:51:30 PM ---
Ahh Monty, This is sublime ;D ;D ;D. I just love it my friend. So much that I aspire to here.
Love the instrumentation, arrangement, groove, lyrics, but most of all, it's that laid back, sophisticated vocal.
Just amazing mate. Don't think I've ever heard you play/sing this sort of thing before. It works really, really, really well ;D ;D
More please....
Take care, stay safe ;D
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@Binladeda Wow! What a lovely review. I'm blown away - thank you so much.
--- Quote from: mickyplankton on July 10, 2020, 02:03:03 PM ---Hiya Montydog. Yeah agree with most of the other posters on here. Lyrics and songwriting are fab. Some great turns of phrase which others have already Called out. As usual your production is very professional sounding and the mix is near spot on.
It’s definitely a song to showcase lyrics and story.
You have inspired me to listen to Nick Cave again. If you have not heard Murder Ballads I would highly recommend you check it out. I think you would enjoy it.
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@mickyplankton Thanks for taking the time to listen and glad you enjoyed it. I'm not a great fan of Nick Cave's singing which has always been a bit of a stumbling block to me although I accept he is enourmously gifted.
--- Quote from: Jambrains on July 10, 2020, 07:51:10 AM ---Lol! Love it! The rhythm section has a great swing, great vocals and love that guitar solo, I'd give the guitar them sax bars as well :-)
Mix is spot on for the vibe and some ace lines in the lyrics.
I'm really enjoying your adventures into new musical territories!
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@Jambrains Thanks for that. Glad you're enjoying my little forays into uncharted territory!
--- Quote from: MonnoDB on July 06, 2020, 11:56:16 PM ---That organ is great! :) Not just the organ of course.. great story telling.. You've gone all dark again, eh? And that deep laid-back vocal delivers the story beautifully.. Lyrics are the star though and in fine company.. Great production from beginning to end.. Fab!
K
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@MonnoDB Great stuff in the review - means a lot.
Bill Saunders:
Hi Alan @montydog
I'm transported to some smoky jazz club, it's late at night and the place is swinging! Your voice suits this song perfectly in my opinion. The lyrics are imaginative and great - lighthearted and with underlying humour - it did sound like you tripped up on "Mediterranean".
Production wise, it sounded lovely - everything balanced nicely, with the little classy interludes from guitars and brass, interweaving with an effective organ sound rumbling away. Swings beautifully, good stuff!
LostBoy:
Very rich production Alan. God you're good at that mate.😁👍🏻 mix sounds good. Lyrics tell the story well. I wanted a bit more melodically from the song itself but that's just me, I understand that the style is what it is....more about the feel than the hook.😁👍🏻
Nice work as always mate.🎶👊🏻🎶
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