The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Dorian on April 13, 2024, 06:32:34 AM
-
Well that was fun. I went with doctor Who in his time machine, going all the way back to the sixties, where I recorded this song. Yes, it has a doctor Who-ish theremin, but to be honest it’s just a synth trying to be a theremin (don’t tell anyone ;)
https://soundcloud.com/dorian-urac/the-man-from-the-sun?si=667bf44a1648446da60ab2a23fce0cc2&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
Although it (hopefully) sounds pretty sixties, the music is created using solemnly VSTs. While mixing I used VSTs simulating vintage equipment like vari-mu compressors, passive Pultec EQ and tape simulation.
My question for you: Does is sound vintage enough? Is the mix alright? I ask, because I had a hard time getting this to sound vintage while not becoming boxy or harsh. Maybe it still sounds too hifi? Someone at Synthforum (= Dutch) said I should add clicks and audio drop outs and such. Also not sure on that.
Lyrics
Every now and then
A saint comes from the sun
Always right about moral virtues
Yes, he knows it all
He’ll come to your doorstep
To blast defences away
A lovin’ kind of hatred in his eye
It’s with love from the sun
Sun ray through your window
It boils the house
If you don’t take up his kindness
You’ll be toast in the sun
Oh how his knowledge is so great compared to us all
Feel your own insignificance
in the shadow of the man from the sun
Oh so bright in his wisdom
He burns away the doubt
There’s no reason to have any fears
Unless you say he’s not right
A crack in your window
It’s too late to run
You’ll be cooked and grilled
By the man from the sun
A stone through your window
Storm wrecks town
He’ll never be sorry
For the man from the sun
He knows it all
-
‘A lovin’ kind of hatred in his eyes’! Love that! Love the lyrics / theme.
I got Bowie meets War of the Worlds meets circus and I absolutely love it!
It defo has that retro feel for me. 60s? Not sure - I see my refs are 70s but it definitely has retro vibes and if you told me it was a 60s track, I’d believe it.
Arrangement/ production/ mix sound great although I’m no expert in that area. Sounds great to these ears!
Great track - big thumbs up and kudos from me.
K
-
Well that was fun. I went with doctor Who in his time machine, going all the way back to the sixties, where I recorded this song. Yes, it has a doctor Who-ish theremin, but to be honest it’s just a synth trying to be a theremin (don’t tell anyone ;)
https://soundcloud.com/dorian-urac/the-man-from-the-sun?si=667bf44a1648446da60ab2a23fce0cc2&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
Although it (hopefully) sounds pretty sixties, the music is created using solemnly VSTs. While mixing I used VSTs simulating vintage equipment like vari-mu compressors, passive Pultec EQ and tape simulation.
My question for you: Does is sound vintage enough? Is the mix alright? I ask, because I had a hard time getting this to sound vintage while not becoming boxy or harsh. Maybe it still sounds too hifi? Someone at Synthforum (= Dutch) said I should add clicks and audio drop outs and such. Also not sure on that.
Lyrics
Every now and then
A saint comes from the sun
Always right about moral virtues
Yes, he knows it all
He’ll come to your doorstep
To blast defences away
A lovin’ kind of hatred in his eye
It’s with love from the sun
Sun ray through your window
It boils the house
If you don’t take up his kindness
You’ll be toast in the sun
Oh how his knowledge is so great compared to us all
Feel your own insignificance
in the shadow of the man from the sun
Oh so bright in his wisdom
He burns away the doubt
There’s no reason to have any fears
Unless you say he’s not right
A crack in your window
It’s too late to run
You’ll be cooked and grilled
By the man from the sun
A stone through your window
Storm wrecks town
He’ll never be sorry
For the man from the sun
He knows it all
Love the lead synth that appears here and there, vocals have the color the story needs, wonderful lines and atmosphere!!!
Doctor Who, you did it gain!!!
-
Really love the production, and in my opinion you really nailed the vintage sound, not just with the theremin, but all of your instrument choices and the big wide sound. Personally, I would not add audio artifacts - you want a vintage sound, but making it sound worse on purpose is just distracting. There's no wrong answer, so you should go with what feels right to you.
Regarding the song itself: it's all very good, but I feel it's a little too repetitive and a catchy chorus would have made this something I would have lined up to listen to again later.
-
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820)
To me, it truly means something when you say you love it, for you make such great music yourself, and you also have such a wonderful voice. I can’t even express how cheerful this makes me.
__________
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
I've come to know you as someone with a weak spot for spooky things like vampires and zombies and such :) , so I guess it's the theremin synth-sound you like (which makes a spooky sort of whoo-hoooo-whooo sound).
__________
a catchy chorus would have made this something I would have lined up to listen to again later.
@Bankie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21332)
Instead of a modern verse+chorus type of song, I tried an archaic 32 bar progression, which was popular from the 1930s throughout the 1950s. This form didn’t include a chorus as we know it today. With my song, it’s not an AABA progression, but a somewhat lesser known ABAC progression, which goes like this:
During 8 bars sing line A type
During 8 bars sing line B type (which sounds a bit like an answer to line A)
During 8 bars sing line A type again
During 8 bars sing line C type, which is a variation of line B, ending with a drum break (could also have been a 7 chord type of thingy), to make it start all over again
But, I must admit, such progressions were mostly popular in music for musicals and in ballads, less common in upbeat 60s popmusic, so I wasn’t entirely sure if it would work out. Still, it seemed to fit the vintage vibe I was going for.
Nevertheless, I do understand why you miss a chorus. My approach might probably be a bit too out-of-fashion for modern ears.
-
A bit hungover today
I put off the listen until I felt better.
I really liked this one
Very unique and interesting sounds
The whole approach is strange and masterful.
An excellent production
Going all out with the theatrical voice,
I imagine it's not for everyone but I find it refreshing to hear a singer going off the road more travelled.
Top drawer material
-
Hi
a great retro feel to the song , i assume this was the intention
& you nailed it spot on
great stuff
subvibe
-
it does sound a bit Bowieish man ... Cool song
-
That reminded me some early 60s Telstar style backing and the voice was like the monster mash. Great song, well done
-
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
@subvibe (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22847)
@Elvis Nash (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22812)
@calafinestrat (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=23038)
Finally some time to respond. Thank you all for taking the time to listen and for your comments. it’s truly appreciated.
@calafinestrat (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=23038) Love Telstar! It has a clavioline, which is a 1940s precursor of analog synthesizers. Almost got my hands on a broken one a few years back, but I decided it was too hard to get it fixed. :'( Love the old sounds!
-
Vintage sound? Check, mission complete!
Click and audio drop outs? I'd say that would be overdoing it.
Overall I think the vocals need to come up a bit in the mix but that might also be me not being a native English speaker and hence need a bit more of the vocals to make out the lyrics.
Cool song!
-
Unlike @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219), I'm not hung over (yet), but I am enjoying a beer or three while I check out what's happening here. I can't say that I'd rush out to buy an album of this material, but it's clever and hits the spot when it comes vintage eccentricity. Now, where's my tardis! :)