[Jimsaloud]

Hello. I am sorry if I haven’t got the format right. This is the first song I ever wrote when I was 14. Posting to know if any good. The lyrics are non existant really. But a little tune in it I think. What do people think?
https://soundcloud.com/user-5387438/my-song-58

[CaliaMoko]

Hi and welcome to the forum. I listened to your first song. I know you say the lyrics are non-existent, but you're singing and I'd like to see the lyrics you chose for your demo. I couldn't understand all the words you sang. Or are you saying the words you sang are just place holders and not what you intend for the final song?

I'd have to listen a few more times (and I don't have the time right now) to give a more informed opinion, but I get the impression that the melody will work, pretty much as it is. I think it needs a little more development; the song is on the short side and could stand to be longer.

I suspect your long-range plan would also be to develop the accompaniment in some way, either by building up the piano part or by adding more instruments?

I like the sound of it so far and would like to hear a more fully developed version.

Vicki

[cowparsleyman]

Hi

I had a listen to this and I think it's very well structured, I like the way you drop off some of the words.

It begs to have female backing vox to thicken it an reinforce the hook, maybe use the words English Cloud.

Hope it helps

CPM

[Jimsaloud]

Thank you both very much. Agree it could do with quite a lot of work. But lovely to know that it’s not hopeless!

Will have a look at developing so it makes sense and test the option for female vocals. Thanks again!