[Steng]

Hi, I'm new to the forum and looking for some feedback on my tunes.

This one is called "Kevlar" and is about outwardly giving the impression that all is well and I'm a strong person dealing with a crushing life event, when in reality I'm a second away from cracking up. The trigger for this exposure of my true state is always a surprise, you never know it's coming.

I've never quite got the vocals right, this is the best I could do. I'd be interested in how I could improve the song. 

https://soundcloud.com/steve-cardus/kevlar

Lyrics:

You know what? I’m invincible
nothing can pierce my armour
I’m bulletproof indestructible
nothing can do me wrong

my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar shell

You know what? I’m invincible
nothing can pierce my armour
I’m bulletproof indestructible
nothing can do me wrong

my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar shell

unexpected sometimes
things blow my mind
shatter the illusion
it takes one and I’m gone
it takes one and I’m gone
it takes one and I’m gone
it takes one and I’m gone

You know what? I’m invincible
nothing can pierce my armour
I’m bulletproof indestructible
nothing can do me harm

my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar shell

You know what? I’m invincible
nothing can pierce my armour
I’m bulletproof indestructible
nothing can do me wrong

my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar
my skin is my skin is strong like a kevlar shell

unexpected sometimes
things blow my mind
and shatter the illusion
it takes one and I’m gone
it takes one and I’m gone
it takes one and I’m gone
it takes one and I’m gone

Thanks

Steng

[TimCurtis]

Hi Steng!  Like your voice - really stands out and is quite unique!

I like the layered vocals, and your lyrics are very imaginative.  The backing sounds well performed and produced.  Wouldn't really change anything other than perhaps the odd drum roll (e.g. around 2:05) to add a bit of punctuation, just a minor comment.

BTW - you'd probably get more people listening/reviewing if you reviewed a few yourself.

[hardtwistmusic]

I thought this was very good. 

A tiny bit shy of musical variety perhaps. . . but a wonderful beat and a correspondingly simple, yet elegant lyric. 

[adamfarr]

I always wanted to find an answer to "Titanium" and I think this is it!

Nice grungy sounds and bit of Smashing Pumpkins maybe? I think it could be enhanced by a strong riff underneath in one of the rhythm guitars at least in some parts (like what comes in around 3:12 - I would like that to be featured more strongly from the outset). I wasn't so keen on the accoustic sonuding guitar.

Concept and lyrics are really nice - I like the paradox between being invincible but having your mind blown (paradoxes are always good).

[Steng]

Thanks for the positive feedback guys.  I will have a listen to that part at 3:12 Adam and see if I can make some minor adjustments. My stuff always ends up a bit too long I think, I need to trim occasionally.
Tim, I will jump in and get my reviewing head on, thanks for the tip.

[Skub]

Yo Steng.

Good to see you getting involved on the forum,so many just post and disappear. 

I can hear this on the soundtrack of 'The Wire'.

It's an ear worm for sure,plus i think it would work well given the dance treatment.

A fine listen. 

[Steng]

Yo Steng.

Good to see you getting involved on the forum,so many just post and disappear. 

I can hear this on the soundtrack of 'The Wire'.

It's an ear worm for sure,plus i think it would work well given the dance treatment.

A fine listen. 

Thanks so much Skub, "The Wire", what a show! I may well try and transform into a dance number, I've tried a few times with other tunes, really enjoy tinkering.

[pompeyjazz]

Steng. This has real atmos. I'm impressed by the way you keep this sparse yet tight and interesting. There's quite a bit of repetition going on but I think that's great in this song as it pulls you into the groove. Like the solo's. Is the first one bass played way up high with FX ? My only minor nit was that it sounded a bit disjointed when it dropped into the M8. You've got a good 'un going on here 

[tina m]

hi Steng ive got some records by your brother Sting
this had a great dance feel to it ,like it could be transformed easily into EDM ..but please dont do that bcos I like it as it is
actually it was  the jazz flavour I liked most ,with that guitar playing octaves & the clean guitar sounds you used thru it all
I loved the guitar parts & the backing vocals aswell but I heard a few spots where the song sounded a bit empty & like it needed something else in there to fill the hole?
I realy liked the song ..it tickled my ears & teased my hips 

[pompeyjazz]

I didn't know that Steng and Sting were brothers 

[Steng]

Steng. This has real atmos. I'm impressed by the way you keep this sparse yet tight and interesting. There's quite a bit of repetition going on but I think that's great in this song as it pulls you into the groove. Like the solo's. Is the first one bass played way up high with FX ? My only minor nit was that it sounded a bit disjointed when it dropped into the M8. You've got a good 'un going on here 

Thanks for the feedback - appreciate it.  All guitar parts are played on a tele, the solos have an effect called "percolator" applied (if I remember rightly).

[Steng]

hi Steng ive got some records by your brother Sting
this had a great dance feel to it ,like it could be transformed easily into EDM ..but please dont do that bcos I like it as it is
actually it was  the jazz flavour I liked most ,with that guitar playing octaves & the clean guitar sounds you used thru it all
I loved the guitar parts & the backing vocals aswell but I heard a few spots where the song sounded a bit empty & like it needed something else in there to fill the hole?
I realy liked the song ..it tickled my ears & teased my hips 

Thanks Tinam! Yeah I also have records by "our" Sting, he's not bad......when he's not doing yoga and all that stuff! I will have a listen for those empty parts and perhaps add a little electronic texture here and there, my usual issue is that I don't know when to stop. Appreciate your comments.

[refusedrevival]

Hi,

Nice song. I like the guitar parts.
I agree with the others that the layered vocals works most of the times.

refusedrevival

[Morefrog Jones]

Enjoyable listen - has a lot going for it - Sounds contemporary and cool.

[boolio]

Hey Steng
I like the overall wistful grungy vibe here and combined with a kind of “WTF is going on with this life sh1t” sort of lyrical feel really, for me, turn it into a pertinent and coherent overall piece.

Good listen too! 

Thanks for posting looking forward to your next
Phil