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Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
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Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
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Arkwright
Solo Gig
Posts: 320
Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
«
on:
December 16, 2015, 09:59:46 AM »
For reasons unknown, last night I felt the need to take a whimsical look at prostitution. I knocked out the chorus and then stopped as I'm not sure how appropriate it is and whether it's a subject that should be treated in such a light hearted manner.
Before I decide to continue with the verses, I would appreciate anyone's thoughts on the following chorus and whether it's worth pursuing.
CHORUS
You gotta pay to dip the honey pot
Or taste the bearded clam
Quite frankly I don't give damn
If it's wham bam thank you ma'am
Come explore the cave of wonders
Take a ride in the pink canoe
For a pony or a bottle of gin
There ain't nothing I won't do
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Last Edit: December 16, 2015, 05:31:28 PM by Arkwright
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PaulAds
Stadium Tour
Posts: 3483
Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
Re: Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
«
Reply #1 on:
December 16, 2015, 03:52:37 PM »
I'd like to see this one finished...
I'm more offended by syrupy coming of age fantasy bullshit "summer (the first time)" type rubbish
More please
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heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter
Paulski
Stadium Tour
Posts: 4418
Re: Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
«
Reply #2 on:
December 16, 2015, 04:48:52 PM »
Well I never heard such audacious things !!
Seriously though you're asking the wrong people.
I would put this in front of a (racy) female singer and ask her opinion
cheers
Paul
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hardtwistmusic
Stadium Tour
Posts: 3037
Central Oregon Sunset
Re: Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
«
Reply #3 on:
December 17, 2015, 12:22:35 AM »
For me, it's not "too much." But it is "too much all at once." I would suggest doing something similar to this song (see link below) and spread what you now have throughout a song that has a similar sweet, innocent sounding music.
https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=avg&hsimp=yhs-fh_lsonsw&type=ch.47.w7.nt.04-02.us.avg._.0415av¶m1=rVPJjtQwEP0VLvEtkbfY6YMPnV4Q0hzQMDDckLd0N5os2Ema-XvK6WloOCCERrJcZefV8uo59uRUJk3JSMX2mOVks5I5X29FXtW7fb7ZkS2XNRUSs0w6ZNsBAjAnpZ6RU4QzLFdEYIkxRi6q9ae36El3B-U71AKSVRXWlaO-YZpLRyu2Mo6U1GgoKSuWQyZMLfEra60j2lnZeCFKzhuiKWW-FJRW0miU6p7HCQ1BNQHNihe0YAWhFdpMIfhufK8P_uP9nTqO45AxndEGVvscvQ72WOj5UNi-hasBcBHs9UMcvmesWYhlzF2oZVR8g8NzP42T8Rk1GS1pDTaevR_B2uA1JDNP2p1SNhE1FHUdfBOJP_i-A79dkr7aFCCjXTJCP7L-J9EAuIWwGYJ-jgzOLsIFqJVc8CgmZY5hcSBFAFCyNRaL4RIwQwBQExLRLuGPw4XzF20Tb5IaG-3SmEnwpUmQK6HSMNAHH2Yf3m3VQ03zu_Xn_HG_wwLd-8aDeuEqXPybcqM2oNTNpMM8vhS_LfifE3p9qW5m_Of4b9_Ir9lelQCueNl4encY9GAa1EgdAWpKsAVEMGyXgASjgCgZbGzR47cXjU6DkrigBBekgk5IifqoHk-d68_xjURGbY6hbz0y8GvJAiPr1UOYPPoaL84P0¶m2=new_tab_search¶m3=ch.47.w7.nt.04-02.us.avg._.0415av&p=youtube+%2b+sweet+cream+ladies
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Verlon Gates - 60 plus years old.
Arkwright
Solo Gig
Posts: 320
Re: Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
«
Reply #4 on:
December 19, 2015, 01:54:35 PM »
Thanks for the replies guys...
Think I'm going to park it for the time being. I'm not entirely comfortable with the lyrics, so I would be writing the verses under duress so to speak.
If we ever have a competition for a song about prostitution, I may resurrect it
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Vintage54
Platinum Album
Posts: 746
Re: Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
«
Reply #5 on:
December 20, 2015, 12:35:44 AM »
Hey Ark,
Don't park it, get out on the motorway and put your foot down.
Love it
Vintage54
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tomcrocus
Solo Gig
Posts: 459
Re: Thoughts please? (Contains sexual references)
«
Reply #6 on:
December 21, 2015, 12:46:52 AM »
Hi Arkwright,
i've come back to this a few times,it's actually
right up my street,my advice for what it's worth is go for it,
i hope you do something with it and let us have a read,
regards,Tom.
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