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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: rightly on April 02, 2019, 04:43:50 PM

Title: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 02, 2019, 04:43:50 PM
My latest to become finished.

I wrote it about 30 years ago
the cubase treatment about 3 months ago
the vocal recording three weeks ago.

Inspired by Leonard Cohen's "the butcher"
just an old blues progression.

The Link:

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/the-ghost-life

The Lyrics:





the ghost life


 
I wrote myself a message
'Told myself to chill out
There are too many things
I can do without
I stripped the mystery of its wonder
I took the golden prize
But I was too good the hunter
Now I've got the ghost life
 
Last night I fell asleep
With all my clothes on
Woke up real early
all the lights were on
If I had a place to go back to
Eh, what can you miss before it’s gone?
Hear myself saying "that’s cool."
Nothing to no one
 
Eh hey to anywho
If you could only like me, I could love you
 
So I took my trouble dancing
It was a Saturday night
Nothing of consequence was happening
Music had no bite
Swallowed hole though when I went solo
Another number with a another name
That I really don’t care to know
I’ve got my own pain
 
How strange is this ghost life?
Walking closer to buildings
With an eye on the streetlights
As the other checks for feelings
And once you’re in, there be no getting out
God knows how I try, I got some fight
I think you know what I’m talking about
Think you know exactly what it’s like
 
Eh-hey to anywho
If you could only like me I could love you

_______________________________________


rightly
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: pompeyjazz on April 02, 2019, 05:19:51 PM
There's no link @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)  :(
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 02, 2019, 05:25:55 PM
Co
Quote from: pompeyjazz on April 02, 2019, 05:19:51 PM
There's no link @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)  :(

Connection problems.
Should take another twenty minutes. Darn it!

This should be the last on the new album. I plan to reassess, recharge etc.

Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: PaulyX on April 02, 2019, 09:36:05 PM
Man, love that opening drum sound.  It's massively ominous.  This is uber-cool mate... Jim Morrison meets Nick Cave meets Tom Waits... it has a similar dark swagger to Cave's "Red Right Hand".  Killer lyrics too and that strangled organ sound is fantastic.  Plus that sudden unexpected end - yesss!  Your best yet, I reckon... at least of the one's I've heard.  You seem to be on fire lately.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: pompeyjazz on April 02, 2019, 09:56:34 PM
Brilliant atmosphere conjured up here. I agree with Pauly on the Cave stuff. This should be used on the next series of Peaky Blinders. As usual your music is stimulating, original a d challenging and I am in awe of it
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: Inanité_sonore on April 03, 2019, 08:24:16 AM
Hi,

I love this song ! I totally agree with the comparisons that have been made : I would say Tom waits for the rhythmic and ambience, and Nick Cave for voice, composition, and atmosphere too. I really like the casual side of vocal interpreting. The small subtle details in the settings are very good.
It's really brilliant! I agree with pompeyjazz, and I vote to put it on season 5 of Peaky Blinders!

IS
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: adamfarr on April 03, 2019, 09:12:30 AM
Rightly, you’re in top form. This is so cinematic and st the same time no images are needed to reveal the inner struggle. Lyrics quite direct but very well chosen to progress our understanding of the story. Love the anywho line... and the little exclamations.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: ScottLevi on April 03, 2019, 10:16:57 AM
Hey Rightly

Smashing it man, digging this tune! As others have said there's a definite vibe portrayed; ominous and sincere.

Straight up truth in the lyrics. I know exactly what it's like. Hope you're in a better place than 30 years ago when this must've been more prominent in ya' mind xD. One of the most piercing lyrics I've had the pleasure to read in a while.

Great vocals again, love the expression of words and rhythm of the lines, "Swallowed hole though when I went solo" is particularly satisfying to the ears.

Last one for the album eh? Quite a collection, excited to hear when your creative vibes take you on the next also.

All the best,
Scott.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: Skub on April 03, 2019, 02:03:49 PM
Yo Rightly.

I do love a student of Leonard and his sublime lyricism.

This is worthy of the man himself. Profound,oblique,image laden and clear all at the same time.

Sometimes in our endless thirst for truth in all things,we forget to just let some mysteries remain in our lives,things which although illogical,are comforting and give quality of life.

Compelling work Rightly.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 04, 2019, 01:58:31 PM
Quote from: Skub on April 03, 2019, 02:03:49 PM
Yo Rightly.

I do love a student of Leonard and his sublime lyricism.

This is worthy of the man himself. Profound,oblique,image laden and clear all at the same time.

Sometimes in our endless thirst for truth in all things,we forget to just let some mysteries remain in our lives,things which although illogical,are comforting and give quality of life.

Compelling work Rightly.

I've often been on to this line of thought -
An element of mystery is essential - in life. At least if I'm to enjoy it.

I used to listen to Cohen, Dylan, Reed n Neil Young (n others).
I'd tell myself, them being human... if they can do it, why can't I?

Being famous must be fun at times
being rich a great comfort
and playing the diva can be a laugh

more interesting by far would be - being able to hold my own
it's their game but not exclusively so.
If I could hold my own I might be able to sleep better.

I'm still trying to get there, I think I'll make it
and they all did some Horrible songs that I wouldn't want to compete with.

A collaboration with Dylan and Clapton was called "Sign Language" I was stoked!

One of the worst songs ever written. lol.


Thanks again for you words of encouragement Skub!
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: shadowfax on April 04, 2019, 04:40:06 PM
Just love your lyrics :) and I'm not struggling with your vocal delivery either..seems just right for the song..this is a damn good song! :) my only crit is maybe the drums good have had more variation...but great work Mr Rightly.. :) :) 8) 8)
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: digger72 on April 05, 2019, 08:11:52 PM
Hi

Great intro - love those sounds.

Very cool lyrics - very well delivered. Totally in keeping with the musical backdrop.

The mood is fantastic and strangely hypnotic.

Ditto - Peaky Blinders.

Very cool.

Digger
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: dinnerwithgreedo on April 05, 2019, 08:15:02 PM
Very atmospheric and great production
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: cowparsleyman on April 06, 2019, 09:44:20 AM
@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) - Yet another superb song in your unique style, clear as a bell, I've noticed in your songs that you leave your LVox vocally unsupported, some BVox might work well in choruses, or passages of double tracked LVox might offer some contrast, hope this helps

Rich
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: MartynRich on April 06, 2019, 11:00:14 PM
I think you´ve invented a new style of spooky Rightly, at least with the intro-riff. This is a great example of superb musical ideas, compelling lyrics and exotic delivery layered over a quite simple blues song. You are also a poet - your lyrics are never bland or written carelessly - you are a proper wordsmith. It´s fantastically gripping stuff and yes, I do think you could make it. Two of my fav artists tonight, great way to finish off Saturday.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: Paulski on April 06, 2019, 11:28:36 PM
well you know I was going to love this one mr. rightly.  ;D ;D
Great lyrics and vibe - you're an inspiration my man.
Paul
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 07, 2019, 10:00:59 AM
Quote from: cowparsleyman on April 06, 2019, 09:44:20 AM
@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) - Yet another superb song in your unique style, clear as a bell, I've noticed in your songs that you leave your LVox vocally unsupported, some BVox might work well in choruses, or passages of double tracked LVox might offer some contrast, hope this helps

Rich

Thanks for the feedback Rich.
I seem to be slowly getting more comfortable with what I know, still a long way to go.
I mean to look into the vocals and drums particularly in the coming months.
I know there's a lot more possibilities to be realised there.   

Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 07, 2019, 10:11:33 AM
Quote from: MartynRich on April 06, 2019, 11:00:14 PM
I think you´ve invented a new style of spooky Rightly, at least with the intro-riff. This is a great example of superb musical ideas, compelling lyrics and exotic delivery layered over a quite simple blues song. You are also a poet - your lyrics are never bland or written carelessly - you are a proper wordsmith. It´s fantastically gripping stuff and yes, I do think you could make it. Two of my fav artists tonight, great way to finish off Saturday.

Thank you for the high praise @MartynRich (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20533).
I'm not sure where my love of words came from, it was always there. 
I say I like poetry but I must say I rarely find anything in books, more in lyrics, and even in the pop charts there's a lot of talent about. 
 Poetry is one of my main reasons for making music. I have to have it. 
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 07, 2019, 10:22:26 AM
Quote from: Paulski on April 06, 2019, 11:28:36 PM
well you know I was going to love this one mr. rightly.  ;D ;D
Great lyrics and vibe - you're an inspiration my man.
Paul

Hey @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) if I've inspired you then that's ample reason for me to be pleased with this.
I'm looking forward to your next release.

Reading these lyrics is like looking at an old photo of myself - the song is just theatrics, but my word, did I suffer needlessly! 

If I could visit myself back then, the gist of my advice would be "fret less, take more action, eat wholesome food more frequently, stop avoiding the necessary work".

I think that'd be it.   
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: mickyplankton on April 07, 2019, 10:36:53 AM
Hi Rightly. Sorry it's taken so long to review this. I have listened a few times over the last few days. For an "old blues progression" this is really good. What sets it apart is the lyrics, atmosphere and percussion. It has the essence of Nick Cave which means I'm a big fan. You've done a really good drop with the instruments and effects on the periphery too.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 07, 2019, 11:14:41 AM
Quote from: mickyplankton on April 07, 2019, 10:36:53 AM
Hi Rightly. Sorry it's taken so long to review this. I have listened a few times over the last few days. For an "old blues progression" this is really good. What sets it apart is the lyrics, atmosphere and percussion. It has the essence of Nick Cave which means I'm a big fan. You've done a really good drop with the instruments and effects on the periphery too.

Yes the nick cave thing often comes up lately.
I really liked his "boatmans call". Then the one following that was even better.
My guitar version of this song is thrillin' but no one would make this comparison, I think because of the rough guitar.
Yes, on other songs I think I went a bit far with peripheries, but I was stretching, testing them. I'm not done with them but I've learnt I shouldn't overdo them in a song.
Oh, the blues... I really like good riffs, n' chord progressions, prominent weaknesses of mine, which keep me productive. One of these days! 

Thanks for commenting.
Your work is from another end of the spectrum, I always look forward to hearing your songs. 
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: Movin Flavour on April 11, 2019, 07:21:24 PM
Another top tune Rightly.

Definitely Cohen, with a hint of Portishead.

Great atmosphere and love the lyrics.

Well done


Sandeep
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: MichaelA on April 12, 2019, 07:56:55 AM
What a great back catalogue you must have @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) , to be able to go back and pull this one out for the modern day polish up.

You have developed a unique sound which seems to be getting more assured, as I must have been listening to your releases for well over a year now. I particularly liked this chorus to this and the overall instrumental interplay is refreshingly different and atmospheric as ever.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: rightly on April 13, 2019, 12:22:07 PM
Quote from: MichaelA on April 12, 2019, 07:56:55 AM
What a great back catalogue you must have @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) , to be able to go back and pull this one out for the modern day polish up.

You have developed a unique sound which seems to be getting more assured, as I must have been listening to your releases for well over a year now. I particularly liked this chorus to this and the overall instrumental interplay is refreshingly different and atmospheric as ever.

I do have a huge back catalogue, most of it is substandard, some material has been recycled.

I should be writing new material. I've got some vague ideas to press on with but I don't like these prolonged quiet spells.

I might start a new cover for a change.

I'm glad you like this song, you're a man of fine taste! Lol.
Title: Re: New Song - the Ghost Life
Post by: montydog on April 19, 2019, 12:06:59 PM
Hi,

I like the backing - atmospheric and some lovely production touches. Your vocal is a kind of crazy cross between Bryan Ferry and Jim Morrison after a tryst with Nick Cave. I have to be honest and say that this didn't do it for me as a song - I think it lacked melody and cohesion but I'm guessing that that wasn't your intention!

There is a lot to admire in how you've put this together but as a song (on a songwriters forum) I didn't enjoy it. Sorry :-(

M